Thursday, April 24, 2008

Lovin', Leavin', Livin'

cheers to a season of letting go...that or some choice words! :)

when i've read the below verses in the past, i've been a little confused. they seem so harsh and abrupt. but, my mind's been thinking a bit differently lately...

The Cost of Following Jesus (Luke 9)

57As they were walking along the road, a man said to him, "I will follow you wherever you go."

58Jesus replied, "Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head."

59He said to another man, "Follow me." But the man replied, "Lord, first let me go and bury my father."

60Jesus said to him, "Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God."

61 Still another said, "I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say good-by to my family."

62Jesus replied, "No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God."

i've been wondering what words jesus would use if he was saying this to us today. and i suspect he'd be referring to three things...things hard to release or let go, especially in our comfortable lives. the first situation is one where jesus' reply indicates an attachment to comforts or securities. the second addresses an attachment to the past. the third, an attachment to relationships.

and it's not so much that he wants us to erase all connection from our, no, connectedness is key to authentic humanity! it's more a question of the moments when we aren't willing to do so. the motive in the hanging on...the answer to the "why can't i let this go?" question from the deepest parts of our hearts. and sometimes that answer is dear and powerful and good. sometimes not so clearly...

the reason why this is so important for me right least the thing that god has been asking me to this: how can i ever fully "have" whatever it is that i clutch so fiercely? isn't real "having" found in holding loosely? such a strange but abundant paradox.

and of course, primary to even's a question of how much more i need that thing or person than the jesus who is the source of my heart's dance. whoa! and for some reason, at this point, it's easy to demonize christ for the possibility of taking away my heart's loves. how would our perspective of this question change if we asked it in the experience of his intimate embrace...his passionate heart for our full life, full relationships, and true freedom...the realer real?

it's been on my mind as life's been happening lately...

so many things i just don't understand. some that i do. some that i understandably grieve. some that prompt me to dance and shout. some that i clearly should release in an honest self-assessment. some that must be revealed. some that i'm happy to lose for freedom's sake...some that i'm not for comfort's sake. man oh man...letting go.

but, the caged bird doesn't sing...and anything these days can be a cage.

oh to be free to really live with no crutches, no tentacles and no baggage. loving and to let go.