Monday, November 30, 2009

My Kind of Humanism

we've been discussing secular humanism for a recertification process. i'm not a major proponent of it. it's filled with so much dissatisfying irony for me...the kind that actually robs humanity of value and the fullness of life. how in the world we could be satisfied with the "elevation" of man to the level of animal is beyond me....??....accepting that there is absolutely no "absolute" truth...oh, except the absolute truth of evolution. and then to accept that our personalities, our relational bonds, etc...are simply the happenstance of chemical just doesn't make sense. it robs life of its magic..of beauty...of true love.

not a believer.

however...i'm also not a fan of a religious humanism either that pops up in christendom. that being "human" is somehow evil and/or weak. that our goal should be to become less human and more holy by living a life that is shackled to an acceptance of the fact that we are "sinners" saved from the hell that our humanness only leads us to.

not a believer.

jesus was fully human. the most powerful example and mentor of who we could be because of a great dance with the divine. eden's humanity, i guess. how in the world could that ever be a terrible thing?

it's not.

the plight of mankind is not our affliction with "humanness"'s our decision to live a life that is less than human. and...true to the value of being human, the heart of god is most truly about restoration to eden's plan. men and women walking with god in the garden of delight...becoming the humans they were designed to be. kind of humanism is not one that embraces the notion of my inner animal...nor is it one that equates my flesh with my humanity. my humanism is an "edenism". ya, that's my kind of humanism.

it's on my mind as i look forward to the christmas season. when the hero was able to sneak into the enemy camp to make my heart's restoration (my humanity's restoration) to the lover of my soul a complete possibility. woo!...god's so's amazing! :)

Sunday, November 29, 2009


another topic i'm getting excited about is an upcoming teaching on joseph, jesus' adoptive dad. he's become an uber-hero in my book. the birth of christ is so astounding...the hero sneaking into the enemy camp as a baby. goodness! that's amazing!!! so the role of joseph...just a regular poor freaking amazing to me. god's story is one of ordinary people having encounters with him that profoundly change the world. yet again...god=hottie. ;)

Speaking Again

well, i'm going to hang out with becky dezurik's crowd on friday. for those that don't know her, she is a wonderful singer/speaker in our area. she does a worship night on fridays at sacred grounds coffee shop. this friday i'm going to do the teaching. :) ya, i better get on that!! fun stuff!

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Down with Cynch Sacks!!!

oh my GOSH!!! i hate those cynch sack garbage bags. i just couldn't feel more strongly...sorry, it's true. i'm to the "despise" level.

stupid bags! STUPID!!

thanks for letting me vent. :)

Thursday, November 26, 2009

A Thanksgiving Thought

i had a wonderful thanksgiving with my family, but all the while today i couldn't help but think about my grandpa. he passed on a few years ago right before thanksgiving. well, i just can't get my heart to stop thinking about the HUGE blessing that he was in my life. you see...i absolutely knew "delight" from him. even up to his last days, he looked at me like i was a miracle. he treated all of us that way. so on this thanksgiving...i'm so very thankful for him.

i miss him so much.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Cleaning Weirdness

here's something i don't understand. i've run into it all over tarnation. it relates to cleaning up. piles and piles of dishes are sitting there. to be helpful, a person gets it in their head to do some dishes. they pull out anything they think they've specifically used and wash them up...and walk away.


Too Easily Pleased

Too Easily Pleased 11/25/2009 [today's online devo from Ransomed Heart]

We usually think of the middle years of the Christian life as a time of acquiring better habits and their accompanying virtues. But inviting Jesus into the “aching abyss” of our heart, perhaps has more to do with holding our heart hopefully in partial emptiness in a way that allows desire to be rekindled. “Discipline imposed from the outside eventually defeats when it is not matched by desire from within,” said Dawson Trotman. There comes a place on our spiritual journey where renewed religious activity is of no use whatsoever. It is the place where God holds out his hand and asks us to give up our lovers and come and live with him in a much more personal way. It is the place of relational intimacy that Satan lured Adam and Eve away from so long ago in the Garden of Eden. We are both drawn to it and fear it. Part of us would rather return to Scripture memorization, or Bible study, or service—anything that would save us from the unknowns of walking with God. We are partly convinced our life is elsewhere. We are deceived.

“We are half-hearted creatures,” says Lewis in The Weight of Glory, “fooling about with drink and sex and ambition [and religious effort] when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”

Thursday, November 19, 2009

My Sweet Daddy!

i don't know if i've told you, but i have the best dad in the world. i may thing that your dad is pretty great...but...i need to be honest with you...MINE...well, he's pretty much awesome!

my house...which i love...was designed for tall people. all my counters are needless bending. hehe. BUT!...i have very little counter space. so my dad made me counter space...TONS of counter space. i now have a high table in my kitchen that seperates into two pieces...perfect for buffet-style line-ups AND any cooking that i need to do.


Great News!!!

little eddie was found tonight!!! i've been worrying myself silly lately...all the what-if's. it's been cold the past few nights...there are coyotes in our area...terrible!


he's been very well cared for!!

my niece and i were chatting tonight, and i said to her, "you know what? i bet a little old lady has found him and is taking really good care of him." (part of me was sooo hoping that was true compared to the actual possibilities running through my head.)

no sooner had we talked about that then my mom called...and guess what?? yep! a little old lady has had him. she found him walking on the highway...pulled over and started talking 'baby talk' to him. he loved that and just jumped in her car. she's been feeding him eggs and sausage and letting him sleep in a quilt on her comfy chair. he never even spent one night outside!!

man, i'm so glad he's ok!!!

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

"Girl" Drama

if there's one thing i dislike the most about working with kids, it's stupid "girl" drama. seriously...someone buy me a gun!...for me

rather than directly work out their conflicts, they skirt around manipulating wherever freakin' possible. they even successfully work their parents up into a tizzy. they even try to get teachers/principals into the mix...moving the chess pieces rather than just addressing things.


and if at first you don't succeed...THEN and ONLY then...give me a jingle.

Praying for Eddie

well...the little ed-man ran away. :( hoping he comes home soon!

All Along

another junior high devotional. :) i really like this song.

Monday, November 9, 2009

When I Knew..

i had a sweet experience last night. i was just dozing off (which honestly, in addition to just waking up, are some of my most cherished times with god...less resistance) when i realized that my heart was talking.

i was saying, "i love you. i just really love you."

and it was very pure.

it wasn't a love based on having my arse bailed out like a zillion times. it wasn't a love based on fear of an angry god.

it was something i was made for.

and it was amazing.

Sunday, November 8, 2009


i don't you have people in your life that just seem like they have to be a little mean sometimes? i guess it feels like i have some of that. i don't know if it's something i'm provoking or just a bad day for people with all the assorted moods. if it's me, i'd sure like to know so i can do what i can to help, but if it's not...goodness...i don't know what to do. pray and be patient? defend self? some of all?

it's just that i don't want to have to be a baracade-girl. i've worked for many years to deconstruct the insulation for my heart. at the same time, though, i want to be sensitive to the struggles of others too...their deconstruction of junk.

maybe i'm just too sensitive and need to buck up...but at the same time maybe it's not a negative. perhaps having a softer side again isn't a bad thing...but how to weild off arrows...?


Thoughts on Women's Retreats

so, i got an email from 'rubio' this weekend. they ran a retreat for women this summer based on the book 'captivating' (which i loved). well, they have decided to do retreats for couples now...parting with the women's retreat theme. has me thinking...

if they aren't going to do it...

i want to.

so i'm praying about that, about a good team of people coming together, all the possibilities. we'll see what happens! :)

When God Comes Softly...

you know...god's really good with me. i can be conveniently blind sometimes to things that i need to have changed in my life. he graciously holds it up in front of my eyes...and really does give me the option to work with him on it or keep on keeping on. always the gentleman. :) so i've been getting a really thorough picture of something lately...something that gets in the way. oh man...i was devastated. he, on the other hand, was really soft towards me. that makes me think he knows the way through...

Friday, November 6, 2009

Mars Hill Bible Church Podcast...Sweet!

i'm a 'rob bell' fan. his 'nooma' videos are amazing!!! so, i was 'podcast-surfing' on itunes and stumbled across his church's podcast (mars hill bible church). i LOVE it! i'm going through a series on the beatitudes right now and am finding it to be magical. man, i love challenges like that. :)

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Love Addict

"j" had devotions in my junior high class today. this is the song he had us listen to. his description was fab. he said that this song is about what it's like to really be loved by god and that if our lives don't show that we feel this, there's always more for us because god wants us to know that love. pretty smart guy! ;)

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Oh, the Irony

the series we've been doing in church has been about 'community'. it's been so different than the typical churchy "strive to be like the early church" drive. how refreshing!!! where the pastors ended up being led was to the heart of god...and the life of community that is natural to the father, son and holy spirit...a life we are called up into. fantastic!

well, today, the topic was about living out the life of the holy spirit that expresses being "for" each other. letting the life of god come out is such a way that we encourage, bless...assume goodness.

here's the irony.

i get back to my latte station and notice a person that i CAN'T FREAKIN' STAND.

ohhhhh great! literally 30 seconds sooner, i was thinking that i had just heard a great sermon that i can totally get on board with. and in a matter of a glance, i was experiencing inner turmoil, wondering if there can be exceptions...

my luck sucks...

...or god actually has a plan for how we can love outloud regardless of the past or circumstances or pain or pride or etc...

so i asked myself...if i wasn't directly involved, what would i tell someone caught in this sitation? hahaha...and i would say "let's not be too quick to question the goodness of her heart." how easily we do so. no, instead i guess i need to assume value and ask god to help me bless that.

my first thought on my way home...hahaha...well, she has nice hair. hey, have to start somewhere...hehe. my next thought...she loves her kids. ok, that's better. and then i decided to pray for her...and not a slanted prayer either (i.e. "lord, help her to realize that she's a pill.) nooooo, a prayer of blessing....and i have to start with her fabulous hair and her love for her kiddos...FINE! it's a beginning...

there's not a good enough excuse to stand in bitterness. people can have disagreements without assuming core evil. ;) god says i have to get movin' in that direction too.'s not like there aren't people out there who have to do the same regarding me...hehe.