Thursday, December 20, 2018

It's Time To Move On!

Well...I've decided it's time to move on from this blog. I look back at the years of posts, and I amazed at God's goodness and what He continues to do to walk with me into new things. He pursues me every day, allows me to be real with Him, and shows me what He's truly like. I love my relationship with Him forever.

I'm starting a new blog. EdenHeart's Dream  I'm not sure where I'll end up with it, but isn't that the point? It's the process more than the product. :)

Much love.


Friday, June 15, 2018

Worthy Of It All

And now I sit in Mexico...

It has been probably the most challenging two years of my life...with the last year running at breakneck speed. Heart-wrenching struggles alongside wonderful events marked with tons of hard work...challenges.

And now I sit in Mexico...

I get to be here for three weeks as my sweet hubbie works two of those weeks at the airport here. Needless to say, I have an amazing amount of downtime, which is rare for me. Being a smidgen performance-driven...what???...hehe...I don't usually open my schedule. I fill it. But what hubbie says is good for me. :) A much needed break.

My history with Mexico is a good one. I've been on three service trips here, and two visits for pleasure. Not the crazy-drunk American kind...just the enjoy-the-culture kind. I absolutely love the Mexican people...beautiful, kind. And Mexico is a fascinating place both naturally and historically. As such, rest is most definitely achievable.

My first few days have been marked with...sleep. Getting around 12-14 hours a day right now. Yowza! I've been been relaxing on the balcony just listening to the sounds of the city. I've been taking jacuzzi soaks. I've been eating...and I've been drinking pina coladas. Wow...they are a creamy dream here.

I've also been shedding some tears. You know...the ones you have to hold back when you need to put the nose to the grindstone. I guess now is the time. I'll likely blog some processing, but the timing is right. So...whatevs. :)

So...yay for Mexico, rest and God! :)



Tuesday, March 13, 2018

Women!

"There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus." Galatians 3:28

It was International Women's Day on March 8th. I usually don't spend too much time considering all of our theme days (except for National Donut Day...that just makes sense to celebrate), but I had a moment of reflection on this day. One of profound gratitude really.

I was raised by parents who valued identity and calling over gender. They didn't influence me to be a specific kind of woman...I was encouraged to be me. I had grandparents who believed in me and celebrated every opportunity and lesson that came my way.

I was given mentors and examples at very critical times in my development. Some who spoke to "becoming" in general. Some who spoke to the strength of women specifically. All spoke to having the courage to live in God's realities and not the limited "boxes" of human design. They were Uncle John, Martha, Debbie, Ryan, Uncle Tim, Mike, my BIL Dave, Aunt Marion, Rommel, Chuck, Neil, Aaron, Joyce...and on and on and on.

I was given material to read and view to challenge thought and provide a sense of a larger community of support. Some providing clarity to steps. Others contributing to encompassing kingdom vision. John Eldredge, Ann Graham Lotz, Kris Vallotton, Elizabeth Gilbert, Greg Boyd, The Junia Project, Eleni, Wonder Woman...and on and on and on.

And I married a man who is the champion of my heart. He believes we both live to be who God made us to be, AND we live to challenge and cheer each other on in that journey. He truly is my greatest cheerleader.

I'm left...speechless...and so very grateful.

I know there are religious people who view the roles of women differently and even potentially hold me in judgment for scriptural violation...but I'm really ok with all that. I am. I don't hate them. My life goal has nothing to do with constantly being offended and spending my efforts in argument. I'm really learning the uselessness of judgment in return.

I'm also far more balanced in terms of how I see men. I used to hate them...those oppressors! ;) My Jesus-feminism doesn't need men to be less. No, I support the freedom of men to be who they are called to be...strong in their individual design, mature, secure...not threatened, not emotionally stifled, not religiously small. And even more...I desire amazing partnerships...the beauty of mutual appreciation and release.

So...here's to International Women's Day and celebrations of beautiful humanity as expressed in men and women. God is good. :)



Monday, March 12, 2018

So Will I

Beautiful. It's a more "wordy" song...but each phrase is packed with meaning. :)

  

Thursday, March 8, 2018

Finding Your Way Back!

I cannot tell you how amazing God is! When we are willing to lay down our offenses and work towards forgiveness, MIRACLES HAPPEN!

And you know what else happens??? We can work toward SOLUTIONS! God's vision for tomorrow is amazing...and we can be a part of His movement by laying down our our stuff. Woo!

Worth it! Let's get to it MORE!

Celebration!

Tuesday, March 6, 2018

The Infused Gifts

I'm a part of a charasmatic body of believers. That means we believe in the empowerment of the Holy Spirit available for us today...which leads to an openness to the various "gifts" that are available to all believers.

The bummer is...there can be a downfall...as is true with any avenue of Christian faith. We can step forward with our beliefs, causes, gifts, etc. with some agreements with lesser things. 

We see this in all sorts of areas. People who take a talent or particular persuasion and combine it with pride or fear or control... It might get "our" results, but it begs the question..."Is what I'm seeking in line with the heart of God for this person? 

At a conference for independent, charasmatic churches, the speaker offered an AMAZING challenge. He said that our "gifts" shouldn't be shared with others unless we are in agreement with the love of God for them. 

WOW! 

I mean double WOW! 

When I look at the history of the larger church...the mistakes I've experienced, the mistakes I've made...I have to ask how much more of an impact we would have on the world if we more intentionally aligned with God's heart for others. We wouldn't teach, prophesy, administrate, intercede, and on and on without first accessing and agreeing with God's heart. 

In other words, if we don't have His love, we should shut up! :) 

Oh, yes. I'm loving this. :) 

What I want???...I want to express the gifts infused with God's love for others. Yep. That's the goal. 

Monday, March 5, 2018

Empowering Songs

Loving these songs lately. He's calling us to new rhythms!!! :)

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Tuesday, February 27, 2018

Nurtured Offense

I was so excited to leave 2017. Sledgehammer it. Done.

It was the year I became aware of the addiction to offense.

Look at our nation, our American church, our workplaces, our families...we seem to be passionately in love with our offenses. In fact, it seems we have loved our offenses so much that we actually nurture them rather than work through them. We have an affinity for "sides" instead of communicating towards solutions. We prefer devaluing others who we perceive as the enemy instead of standing on a virtue of honor. To suggest anything different is viewed as ignorance or any kind of "-ism" that completes our judgmental picture.

Sigh.

Don't get me wrong. It's not about never being offended. That would be quite unrealistic! Pain and suffering happen in this life. Wounds are real...those we inflict and those we receive. But we forget our most fundamental human gift...free will. Our options aren't limited in the face of offense.

All too often...and in the last year I've been very convicted of our life orientation towards it...we surrender our options to a consistent reaction of offense. And in so doing, we become "owned"...

I realize that saying we are "owned" can be offensive (ironically), but the truth is we need to see our propensity to be constantly offended for what it is. In the face of a hurt or insult, we form a judgment, and that judgment sets us on a track of nurturing and babying a cancer of the heart. It's the truth of what it is.

The implications of such a decision are devastating.

First, we live in a state of unhealed hurt, ungrieved loss, and unmanaged anger. From there we become ruled by "my perception is reality" with its knee-jerk assessments instead of allowing ourselves access to wisdom and insight. Third, we can become vulnerable to even more agreements like a victim mentality, a need to control, or an authorization to be judge and jury. What's worse is that we can even permit ourselves to sin in response to our perception of another's sin. In so doing, we allow ourselves gossip, slander, violence, division, or pride because we feel it is justified in comparison to the greatness of someone else's sin. Eek. And lastly, we can become satisfied with compromised relationship as shown in withdrawal and isolation, but all the while not understand that we are actually shackled to the one we judge. A prisoner via nurtured offense of our enemy.

All of those implications create destructive realities. Ones in which we are both vulnerable and incredibly dangerous. We can very much hinder our own destiny in dreaming God's dreams and partnering with Him for good. With nurtured offense, we will dream fear's dreams or rage's dreams...sigh. The world doesn't need more of that!

How we aren't devastated by this is beyond me. It's absolutely heart-breaking!!!

Oh how we need to be wrecked over it. In our efforts to defend our own pain, we've become destructive.

God gives us beautiful free will though. We aren't limited to the one option offense!!! We have choice...choice to not be owned by our pain, but to acknowledge the hurt and allow it to heal. We have the choice to forgive and no longer be a prisoner to the one we despise. We have the choice to have healthy boundaries without the millstones of bitterness and resentment. We have the choice to confront issues without robbing others of value. We have the choice to stand for solutions instead of sides.

It's not easy to do, but if we actually get in the game for our hearts, it's beyond worth it. And what's more is that the gift of free will isn't the grandest of God's gifts to humanity. Jesus and what He accomplished through His death and resurrection...the last stand He made in the face of eternity's worst offenses...actually empowers us to discover that healing is a reality purchased for us.

We need to do it. Oh, please God...help us do it.





Monday, February 12, 2018

A Miracle For Me

I received a miracle yesterday. If you knew about the situation, you'd see it as such too.

I've been involved in a icky situation with misunderstanding and division. Some casualties along the way. I've been trying to be faithful in prayer and in handling my own offense. It's been a tough journey. Well, yesterday I received contact asking for forgiveness and reconciliation.

Hallelujah!! Yes...I managed to dance and bawl at the same time.

God is always up to something. His work of restoration. There can be tough stuff in that process...and lots of time...but letting Him have control is the way to go.

So as of today, I don't know where the process will end, but restored relationship is an awesome start.  :)

A Culture of Restoration

I have been thinking about culture lately. Culture in a kingdom sense. I've been looking at some of my ways of thinking and the actions that have come out of that. I've been looking at the kind of family values that Kevin and I want to promote. I've been thinking about our church and who we have been and want to become.

I've been SO blessed to think back. Profound "stands", mistakes made, lessons learned, victories realized, community deepened. God is and has been so wonderfully good and faithful.

So, what is my "culture"???

Restoration.

I was working on my computer the other day and saw something online about computer repair. It talked about the difference between recovery and restoration. "Recovering files typically refers to salvaging one or more files, while a restore usually refers to replacing a complete system or hard drive from a full system backup." So basically, if you have a file that's messed up or lost, you "recover", and if you have a system that is operating outside of design or purpose, you "restore". 

When I read that, I was struck with a distinctive applicable to the kind of kingdom culture I love: recovery is an aspect of a larger, "whole person", restorative process that aims to align with a beautiful original design. The process is real for every person, and our dedication to it is heavily influenced by our view of grace. 

Growing up, I was accustomed to a view of grace that seemed to have accepted a view of humanity framed by "original sin". And while it is true that we all have fallen short and are profoundly broken, I've found that grace is so much more than "undeserved favor". In fact, that perspective validates a process of becoming that tries to manage brokenness or negative behavior. It frames a person in terms of who they've been in their fallenness. It can limit a recovery need to a correction of habits and even limit the larger possibility of restoration. (Likely, restoration itself is an unrealistic expectation, making recovering the focus and highest hope for this life.) Unfortunately, this fails to offer complete healing and freedom. 

The true definition of grace is much grander, I'm discovering. As a result, the journey to true, unshackled humanity is marked by investment beyond our wildest dreams. Graham Cooke said recently, "Grace is the empowering presence of God that enables you to become who He sees when He looks at you.". His rationale is that scripture says that Jesus "grew in grace", so the concept has to be much broader than sin for Jesus did not sin. I AGREE! That larger notion reframes our approach to our development or "becoming" by setting us in the light of "origin glory". It sets us in a larger process of aligning with God's vision of us. It means we can really believe that God can and wants to breathe His breath of life on every aspect of our being. AND...it means we can believe and own that God has a "new day" for us all as we join Him in that restorative process.

So recovery...it's not the point. It's a chapter along the way for all of us in various forms. But it's more of a "file" adjustment in a larger, hopeful "system reboot". It can focus on habits and accountability, but it is a part of a grander journey to healing and wholeness.

Restoration...It doesn't mean that life is easy...but it means that even in the hurt, the pain, the confrontation, the challenges...THERE IS HOPE and honor and value and victory. For me, it's worth fighting for and worth doing together. Culture.


Tuesday, January 30, 2018

Death of Christianity

Oh wow! This article doesn't pull any punches, but it certainly is food for thought. 

The Death of Christianity in the U.S.

For me, making the Jesus' movement into a "religion" (in the fallen sense of worshiping the tenets more than the God) has unleashed horrible consequences. It's been disgusting. BUT, I have to say that I am so excited about the growing distaste. FINALLY! So much potential for beauty is around the corner. :) 

Monday, January 22, 2018

Movie Love

We saw "The Greatest Showman" recently, and OH MY GOODNESS...it was wonderful. If I could see it every day for the rest of my life, I would!!! It's a "must buy" for me. Love, love, love.