Thursday, December 12, 2013


Oh my word...I've just been enjoying "getting away" with God lately!! This song rocks my socks off. :)


Wednesday, December 11, 2013


Precious story and powerful reminder of our own adoption by God. :)


Tuesday, December 10, 2013


Intimacy with God is so possible. The God of "I am yours and you are Mine". I've been loving sitting with Him in this song lately. The deeper deep... :)


Monday, December 9, 2013

Frozen No More

 I cannot tell you how much I identified with Princess Elsa in Disney's new movie "Frozen". Oh my wow. The Ice Princess...her gift subdued unsuccessfully by fear, abandonment to a life of isolation to protect herself, invitation to a life of true love. Oh my...I couldn't resemble that more!! So very familiar with fear and self-protection, and thanks to Jesus, I know more and more of true love's freedom!!!!

Gonna be buying this one for sure!!! :)


“Our wounds are often the openings into the best and most beautiful part of us.” 

I saw this quote online today. Really got me thinking about how God can take anything and make it beautiful again. It's definitely not a fun thing to do...going to the places of wounds...but it's truly the only way we can live a life NOT ruled by them. Being authentically free...that's what is on the other side of the healing journey. Much better than a life of over-reaction and avoidance.

Monday, November 25, 2013

Closing Those Doors

I'm not one of those people that likes to stay in a constant place of looking into the past. I used to do that a ton, but I've found that God is way better at revealing things from before in just the right time for His perfect healing. Ever the Gentleman. I'm certainly not denying their existence...Lord, I see the damage from that perspective all the time in the lives of great people who live less because of it. Just doesn't work. What I'm saying is...I'm not a wound hunter. Instead I've decided to take the posture of obedience when God reveals those things and spend the rest of my time allowing Him to release me into the beauty He's created me to be.

So...lately...God's been beckoning me into a season of looking back and allowing closure.

The clue God's been giving me that it's time??? the face of unfathomable honor from someone, I find myself grieving moments from my past where I was not treated honorably. Guy vs. Man. The grief means some doors are still open...and God's getting ready to help me close them.

Terrifying and exciting at the same time.

So...just a reminder that God is both wild and good. He has a ferocious anger for the pain of His children and the gentle goodness to walk us back to painful places to breathe His healing out. He fills in broken places so our forward movement into greater strength is unhindered.

If He gives you the invitation...take it. :)

Monday, November 18, 2013

Powerful Story

Wow. Such a powerful story! The healing and freedom obviously take time...but when we let God have our pain...Wow...Amazing.


Friday, November 15, 2013

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Monday, November 11, 2013

Guess Who's in the Seat of Honor?

I was so struck by something in Growth Group on Sunday. November is our "Spotlight on Service" month...encouraging a life of intentional honor and kindness. The discussion, which highlighted Jesus washing the disciples' feet, began with setting up the scene. The way the story was written indicates where some of the people were sitting.

John on Jesus' right as the was customary for a close friend to sit nearest the door in case of attack. 

And on Jesus' left, a person deserving of honor...Judas.

I find that SO VERY fascinating!!

Jesus actually placed Judas, the one He knew would betray Him, in the seat of honor. Even in the face of impending injustice, Jesus chose honor. I'm so...awed.

It's a good challenge for me. I don't always react so the face of betrayal. But, Jesus did...and makes it possible for us to do the same. 

AND...when we are the betrayers, the bringers of pain and suffering...Jesus would place each of us in the seat of honor too. That makes me come undone. 


Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Can't Get It Out Of My Mind

It's true! I have a mind that grabs ideas and thinks and thinks and thinks...hoping the Holy Spirit will give me a bit more insight. Why?...well, OCD could be a contributor...Haha! But...I just really want to know more about kingdom realities..."know" in an experiential way...because I suspect our understanding is so much less than God's design.

Wouldn't it be so amazing if we as the church could live out more accurately the desires of God's heart?

So, I can't get "Grace" out of my mind. It spins over and over and over... The reason is that the definition that the church tends to live out seems so lacking and actually inappropriate sometimes...limiting our ability to love, forgive and invest well. We live something like this, "God's grace forgave a loser like me and keeps me from a life of eternal fire and damnation. I try to remind myself daily how much His grace puts up with crap like me." That or we do something like this, "God's grace means I can live however I want because He and I are cool. If I want to keep doing things that break my own heart or the hearts of others, no problem! He's just happy I'm saved." It all seems...severely limited. Especially as we get to know God's heart more.

I'm starting to think that it might take all of eternity to grasp the magnificence of Grace. That long because God is so beautifully good and beyond our mind's comprehension. We will experience it but not be able to find the words... I love that.

Here's my thought this week. A snapshot of Grace. The focus of Grace isn't sin. It speaks to it, conquers it...but its focus is more permeating in the spirit. It has its sight set on sources of sin...the roots, the wounds, the brokenness. He knows those things can be healed and restored, and He actually can and does! AND...beyond its cross-hairs is DESIGN. Grace embraces "becoming"...believes that the words of powerful identity divinely written on the heart can truly be illuminated by His presence and unleashed in this lifetime!!!

It ain't just forgiveness and a "get outta hell" ticket for life's losers!!! It ain't just "get outta hell" and live apathetic to growth and freedom!!!

It's this...He takes a girl like I was and as I can be...forgives me, heals my broken heart and the wounds that torment me and fills them with beauty and wholeness, and inspires and launches me into a life where I will express the identity and the gifts of the daughter He's made me to be. I'll know eternity today...and someday even more fully.

I want to see myself like that...and the world. A life of compassion and investment.

Sunday, November 3, 2013

Your "Grace" Is Showing

I'm starting to realize how much our true understanding of grace is shown in our response to the sin of others.

Not the "grace" that is relativistic, permissive...

Not the "grace" that utilizes shame as a tactic to maintain behavior...

The "Grace" that values the heart, that invests in people no matter the baggage or stain, that has higher and deeper standards for wholeness than the behavioral regulations of legalism. Truly, so beautiful.

Once in a while I encounter people who use the word "grace" in their every day Christian language like they are pro's at it but who cannot display with their actions the realities of "Grace". Tending towards anger issues and snap reactions. Incapable of the forgiveness they would long for from others. It's so frustrating because they just jump from church to church in constant dismay that "everyone else" can't get it together like they can.  Sigh. (Yep, irony intended.)

But then there's Jesus. Oh, I love Him so much. He sees the heart. He sees the divine story written for that heart...and believes it can happen because of His matter the unsightly condition to start with. I'm sure He loves accountability, healthy boundaries and all that...but He always offers His hand to get back up.

I think that's His heart for the church in America. The high hopes of His kingdom. pray that into reality more. Sigh. Encounters with Jesus that redefine a poor definition.

Praying that for myself too. Goodness knows Jesus' Grace also has a heart for them too. ;)

Thursday, October 31, 2013

Crushing Sticks and So Much MORE

I really respect the convictions of others...well, when they aren't based in legalism. I'm willing to let God's direction in someone's life be as valid as His move in mine...even if we don't agree. (Pretty much. I'm only a little strong-willed. Haha.) And, where possible, I want to do my best to not cause them to stumble.

One of the things God has been releasing me into more is my role in Christianity as a woman. An equal opportunity woman. ;) For the most part, my experience has been totally awesome!! Many of the men in my life aren't somehow more insecure because of how God has made women, and in fact, one of the ways they express their masculine strength is in paving the way for women to "become". I've had some seriously awesome investment!!!

Occasionally, though, I have the odd experience with a legalist. Usually I can just shake it off, but gets under my skin.

Enter...God. :)

I was driving out of my driveway the other day, heading to a "women in ministry" scenario. While I was headed to the end of my road, two little girls came running out and placed some items in the road where my car would go. They then ran back to the side of the road and waited with excitement. I slowed down a ways back and asked if they wanted me to run over something for them. Well...apparently, yes...because they began squealing and jumping up and down. So, there I was, crushing their little sticks and whatever else they put there. I drove off watching them come out to see the delighted damage.

As I pulled up to the stop sign, I heard the Holy Spirit say, "See? THIS is what we are doing! Crushing what's ahead of them so they can be more released some day!"

Yep...I was blessed and totally speechless. :)

So, now? You know it! I'm stepping more fully into whatever adventure He puts before me. Less hesitation. More courage! Living out loud, baby! For God, for me and for them!!! It's what He has for us all! Awesome!

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

My First Wedding!!

Yep! It's true! I officiated my first wedding. It was a great experience for this girl! At first I was hesitant because I'm not a pastor and...well, I'm a girl. But, man, was it a great challenge for me to explore! God really used it in my life to broaden my vision and fall more in love with His heart!! AND...The couple was amazing!!! Their love is so special.

If I could roll my eyes more...

Oh my word! I deal with teenagers all day long, so I'm familiar with immaturity, over-reactions, and all of the other "fun" stuff associated with their kind. I actually have a measure of patience for it because I know they are growing. It's adults that can put me over the edge!!!!! Seriously! What's with adults who have the coping skills of a hormonal teen? What's with the grand tantrums and over-reactions to life's challenges? What's with the constant DRAMA???

...Ya, I'll deal with it for a time, but then...NOPE! Time to put on the big girl panties and grow up!!!

Sigh. Venting done. ;)

Monday, October 28, 2013

The Croods...and the church

I saw this movie with my nieces the other day. So cute. As we were enjoying it, I kept having this odd feeling that the story was symbolic of...the church!!!! Hahaha! Yep, it reminds me of the struggle of some to do more than "survive"...but to grow and expand into more of His heart for kingdom living. I might just be Epe. ;) Check it might be surprised. :)


Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Single and In The Church

Ok...I have to post this. A friend sent it to me and felt she could really relate. I'm not necessarily agreeing with everything in the article, but the notion that the church is a bit family/marriage biased...well, I really see it. Unintentionally sad.

Single And In The Church

Friday, September 27, 2013

The Story

So wonderful. His story...our story.


Paying the Price

We live in a family in which we pay the price for someone else to get breakthrough. - Bill Johnson

I know this is meant in reference to ministry, but it's actually true for so many things. The breakthroughs in the lives of others...while it can be tough...are worth the price paid.

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Idol of Certainty

Here's what my weekend looks like! So excited! Challenges to think about things are like pure gold for this girl. Yay!

Idol of Certainty Conference

Monday, September 23, 2013

Farewell, Sweet Lady!

Something both happy and quite sad. My very special grandma, Lorraine, passed on this weekend. Such a full and beautiful life...such a gift and example to all who knew her.

She finally gets to be with Grandpa in heaven. What a lovely pair they were. :)

I was realizing what a gift it is...tears of a certain sort...ones that come because of loving and being loved by someone so amazing. Not tears of regret, not tears of pain...tears of relationship and investment.

Yep...that's the grief I have.

And I'm so excited to see her again some day. :)

She's Back!!'s been a while since my last post!!! Life's been just insane but with very cool opportunities and challenges. So...while absent, it's still been quite productive! The theme of this year has been the "Year of Opportunity" after all. :)'s to women's events, soaking prayer events, excellent professional starts and opportunities, growth and maturity personally and within goes on and on and on.

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Parents Must Read

It's time to stop being shame-based about it...and time to get real AND get the conversation going.

Parents Must Read

Tuesday, August 20, 2013


Reaching Up, Reaching Out

What a fantastic day!!!

It's no secret how much my venture into being an Abba's child has so profoundly altered how I look at life. A growing sense of identity as a child of the good Father from a ever-growing relationship with Him is igniting a sense of mission...a call to make a bringing the goodness of His kingdom. I'm SO HUNGRY to find opportunities to inspire, invest, impact...however possible. life has changed!

Well...what an awesome opportunity today was to use the few muscles I have (don't laugh) and partner with my church community to help Good in the Hood with their food distribution day. A focused act of kindness to serve the hungry. We sorted, we stacked, we hauled, we bagged, we served...we delighted, we invested...we grew.

The sadness, of course, is seeing people impacted by poverty and hunger. Breaks my heart. The beauty, though, is knowing that today we were a part of being God's miracle for those very people through service. Fills my heart.

Yep...I'm a believer...and I'm convinced...WE CAN CHANGE THE WORLD! :)

Friday, August 16, 2013

Spirit, Break Out

Oh my. I think this song could very well be my new manifesto in song. Or perhaps God' written on the human heart. Moving from just being a "believer" to an actual "Abba's Child" and participating in the reality of the Kingdom here. Spirit, break out...yes, seeing and believing EVERY DAY!!!


Sunday, August 11, 2013

Beneath Your Beautiful

Oh my. A great friend played this today on our way to a little adventure. It just blew me away. Single people not desperate enough to settle in a relationship with the wrong person for their heart will totally understand. It's about letting down your guard to let someone see who you really are...and finding someone who wants to see your true self and pursue it. Has me dreaming a bit. :)

Saturday, August 10, 2013

Church At The Feet Of Jesus

Oh my....this sermon by Pastor Mark Moore (visiting pastor from Texas) is so powerful...and so YES! Listen to the end! Enjoy!

Church At The Feet Of Jesus

Thursday, August 8, 2013

Fling Wide

Maria led this song in church a couple weeks ago. It was so powerful. Now, it runs through my heart over and over. :)



I was driving to lunch with a friend this afternoon, and we were talking about something we heard in a Bill Johnson sermon. He said that hope is living in "expectancy of God's creative goodness". Right when she said the definition, my heart got so excited...I actually let go of the steering wheel in a squeal of delight.

I know, I while driving...hehe.

But, it was exactly in that moment that the Holy Spirit reminded me that truly living with hope...that delightful expectancy of His goodness...means GETTING to let Him steer the situation.

Hard to do if driven by fear and control...but oh such a great relief if we can actually let go.

I needed that reminder today.

Yep, He's so good...the God of HOPE!!! :)

Saturday, August 3, 2013

A Little Get-Away

Well, my month of vacation is officially over on Monday. Sigh. The instant I realized it, a bit of a depression set in. :( The educational world just isn't what it used to be for me...or maybe the entitlement attitude of parents has just taken enough toll now. Some grief settled in with how much life has had to change over the last year too. Yep, I just sank for a while there. 

Happily, though, my sis and I had planned a little get-away with some biking mixed in. Yep, it ended up being a great time of free space to be real about everything and just relax and have fun. Gosh, I love that girl. :) 

Having a moment of free space without the pressure that my heavy heart might bring others down or add fuel to another's issues was so freeing. It wasn't a time to be a burden, but it was a time to briefly unburden...and gain some new vision!!! Yep!!!'s what rest does for the heart. 

So...still not completely excited about work again...but feeling a bit less burdened and refreshed. 

For this's key to living. :) 

Monday, July 29, 2013

Abba's Child

Prayer Event Success

I'm totally convinced...yes, I am! Taking time to rest in Abba's presence is so core to everything else we do in the kingdom. Whether it's growth in intimacy with the Trinity and all of the freedom, healing and wholeness that can come with that...or whether it's release into mission-oriented living in bringing kingdom life wherever we go...taking time to rest and relax in and with Him is WORTH IT!!!

We did two prayer events this month using material from Graham Cooke (International House of Prayer) and various worship and instrumental songs for reflection...and God met people right where they were at!!!! Some enjoyed intentional time to rest in His presence and find more peace. Some heard words and had visions. Others received direction for forward movement.

I'm sold!! We will continue to do this!!!

Many, many thanks to those that helped. If anyone is interested in helping with future events, say the word!! :) And if you have ideas or suggestions, please do so!

Oh!!!...and this is totally open to anyone from anywhere! No obligation...just welcome invitation. Unity in the body of's how we roll.  :)

Sunday, July 28, 2013

Saying 'Goodbye'...For A Little While

Oh dear...I love all of my nieces and nephews so much. It's such a delight to watch them discover, learn and grow. As they get older, though, a challenge enters...letting them leave for those grander adventures.


It's the crazy thing about love. In the same powerful moment, we can experience the deep sadness of "goodbye" and the grand excitement of "have the time of your life"...all at the same time. 

And this Auntie...well, I find it to be so hard every time.'s to Josh's next amazing chapter...and my box of kleenexes. ;) 

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Thank You, Cambridge Faith Community

So...this girl goes to "that church"...the current faith community to experience a "fall" in leadership. While the direct victims were not a part of our community, we quickly found ourselves to be the extended group of the hurting. Very confusing. Very painful.

To be honest, I'm so much more in love with this particular gathering of Jesus' people because of how we've grabbed hands and walked through...letting God help us love and grow...making us better equipped to dispense the kingdom-grace that takes sin seriously but calls forth into freedom, original design and righteousness. We haven't done it perfectly...but man, I'm more excited about our future than I ever have been. Seems like God can work the miracle that forms a broken heart into a bigger one!!! He's THAT good!

But...due to some of my experiences with and observances of the body of Christ for more than three decades...I've had the occasional fear of the shunning and judgment that can potentially come from other believers and faith communities. It's an unfortunate reputation and real possibility...people who need to punish the extended hurting to feel more justice against the offender...or people who just have enough of their own unhealed woundings that limit their ability to extend grace and come alongside brothers and sisters in Christ who need support. So sad...but also a fantastic reminder to NOT be that for the inevitable "falls" of us all.

A particular concern was a day-camp program that operates on our church property. It's an independent operation and not a specific church program, but you know...I was worried about those who might apply "guilt by association" and withdraw support of these fabulous people. Boy, was I wrong! So, so wrong. Hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of kiddos have been experiencing activities of all kinds that celebrate who they are, and so many adults and young people are being more released into their giftings of leadership and service...all with a joint effort by Christians from the extended faith community. Amazing! Wonderful! Fantastic!

So...I just wanted to say "Thank You" to the Cambridge Faith Community. Beyond specific programs, we've experienced far more miracles of kindness and support than distasteful moments of rejection. It's been a delight to experience God's goodness in such tangible ways. I pray that you will be richly blessed for your compassion. And can depend on us if ever you need support in the days ahead!


Friday, July 12, 2013


"Mission" July

So...2013 is supposed to be my "Year of Opportunity". [Every year gets a new theme with challenges to follow.] It has been more of a "challenge" as a whole instead of what I was thinking when I established the tone. But...I think life has finally been restored to as much "normal" as this girl can get...and...the opportunities have begun to come. I was originally planning to do some mission trips, but as much as I've tried, those haven't panned out. So...I turned my month of vacation into "Mission" July.

Not "missionary"...missional.

The goal...per my life intention to live as Abba's to improve, influence and impact as much as possible within my giftings or "can-do's".

I'm having an absolute BLAST!!

Some of it is individual with lots of time to think alongside my doings. Other projects are corporate. Community and it.'s to more!!!! Awesome!

Monday, July 8, 2013

Rare but Finally..

I'll tell ya finally became time to pull out the sharpie. I joke sometimes about that aspect of my personality...where I have to cross a person off my list with the permanent marker. Ending a relationship and putting up serious boundaries, though, is not and should not be an easy thing.

I deal with tons of people in my different involvements...some more difficult that others. With the especially tricky ones, I find I have to remind myself that at minimum I'm paid to have contact. Yikes. The stuff I have to put up with though can get pretty nasty. The educational world in particular...with the interplay of invested parties with varying degrees of health and dysfunction...can be a festering pool of "justified" and uninhibited "ick". So sad.'s been a long haul with a situation, and I finally came to the realization that I just couldn't take even one more minute of the reckless dishonor. The constant drama was wearing on me, and more importantly, I realized I couldn't change or fix a thing. So...I took out the sharpie...and I crossed the names off.

I don't know if that's good or bad, but man, it feels so necessary in rare occasions...and is such a relief.

Don't get me wrong...I'm not a fan of a liberal use of such tactic. There just comes a time when we have to guard our own hearts to such a degree...and release people from our lives.


Sunday, June 30, 2013

Jesus101...Thinkings #2

Well...WOW! Delving more into who Jesus is continues to amaze me. Today, I heard a beautiful sermon on more of His powerful approach to people. So very shocking...and so very special. :)

Think about it...He actually allowed the possessed, the tax collectors and the prostitutes into His life. He even invited Himself over to their houses for dinner!! He touched the lepers and the dead to bring healing and life. Now, you and I might not find that so controversial in concept, but in the face of the religion of the area, this was hugely grotesque. To the religious leaders and the "devout", these actions were completely unclean. "Contaminating" one's self in such ways was UNACCEPTABLE. Never mind that people were being set free...

Yep, that's my Jesus. Every single heart worth His pursuit...

And now something makes sense...People caught in the snare of self-righteousness and "keeping up appearances" can't honestly stomach this King or fully participate in bringing His kingdom life. He's willing to get His hands dirty and forsake His reputation for the sake of freedom and healing...and that's just simply unacceptable to the comfy, safe "church".

It begs the I willing to do what Jesus did with the "unclean" of our day?

Goodness...He came for me in my worst of the worst...and He calls me forward every day. Here's to getting on board with His ways for the sake of others.

Yay for MORE! :)

Privilege of Dependence

A bunch of people from my worshiping community got together the other night to pray. (Side note: Wow! We need to do that more often!!!) As we were talking about different stories from people's "faith banks", it struck me how wonderful it really is to step into our position as the Abba's children. And dependence on Him???? tough as that can initially be for our independent cultural wiring...that dependence is a great privilege. A PRIVILEGE!! We GET to depend on the good Father for every good gift.

Positioning our hearts in such a perspective???...makes us seers of the miraculous! So, so FABULOUS!

So...we better get to yielding efforts in our own strength. We need to get on board with the privilege of dependence.

He's that good. He's that loving. And He's constantly at work. :)

Thursday, June 27, 2013

Resting Place Prayer Events's coming together!!! We are hosting a couple of prayer events at church. Times to just rest and "soak" in the presence of God. I'm so excited!

There is something so key to going to the resting place. It intentionally allows the heart to settle in His presence and peace and then refocus for whatever kingdom purpose is before us. So, so beneficial!

More info to come! :)

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Faithful and True Ministries

I'm going to put this out here because I continue to hear such great stories of healing and freedom with their holistic approach. Sexual addiction is so prevalent in this sexually saturated culture. It's even glorified. Yet, all the while precious hearts are suffocating and dying under the weight of it.

The Jesus I know...and the Jesus I want to be not ashamed of anyone. He offers forgiveness, healing and restoration. True worth!!!

Here's to some people that really do a great job with men and women who are ready to make a change!

Faithful and True Ministries Website

Transforming the Whole Mind

Christians talk a lot about "transforming the mind". It comes from the charge in Romans 12:2 to "...not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - His good, pleasing and perfect will.".

What becomes so odd...especially in the Evangelical how "transforming the mind" can become used in a limiting fashion. For one, many choose to spend their faith investments focused completely on the mind without following it to the deeper seat of the spirit...the heart. Tragic, really. For another, "mind" is defined so narrowly. Unfortunately, so many in a solely modern way of thinking equate "mind" with "intellect". Basically, the more facts and arguments you know...the more transformed the mind becomes.


Yes, it's true that knowledge is powerful. An understanding of concepts can help build a great foundation. BUT..."knowledge", when used in scripture, is far more of an experiential concept. It assumes relationship with the divine. AND..."mind" actually refers to so much more than intellect. It can include the following and likely so much more:

* Wisdom. Growing in how to apply truth well is far different from intellect. Goodness, how many fact-smart people do you know who can argue a point to the ends of the earth yet are completely inept at applying wisdom?? TONS! It's definitely a place for transformative investment.

* Thought Patterns. We can have encyclopedia-equivalent knowledge packed in the recesses of the brain but not be equipped to interpret reality appropriately. We all have "grids"...those mental, emotional or spiritual lenses through which we choose to see our interactions...and those "grids" are primarily fueled by wounds. And honestly...if I may be so bold...I believe our free will...our ability to make choices...can be "bound". Yep...a limited ability to choose. The good news is that freedom is available for "grids" and a bound free will.'s definitely a place for transformative investment.

* Imagination. There is the experience of truth that is not bound by what you can see, hear, smell, taste and feel. It is the seat of ideas, dreams...creativity. Powerful truths of myth and fairy tale, of vision and perspective are born and expressed there. God is so "for" it. And's definitely a place for transformative investment.

So...if we, as Abba's children, are going to go after the transformation of the mind, why not explore more than just picking up all those facts and propositions? Wouldn't it be wonderful? I say...YES!!!

...and then let it lead you to that powerful heart of yours. :)

Monday, June 24, 2013

One Thing


Oh's amazing what a little thing like home improvement can reveal about a gal. Hahahaha!

The latest much I tend to lean on expectations...and need them for a more secure feeling.

Don't get me wrong...expectations have their place...but...oh's amazing how much not being able to nail down an expectation or keeping expectations fluid can be SUCH a problem.

Deep breaths.'s going to be a good thing for this girl. The work being done is EXCELLENT. Such high quality. Finding other ways to have serenity apart from expectations...priceless in the long-run. :)

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Pay Attention to those Screaming Wounds

Yes!!!'s ok!!!!!

It is simply unfathomable the number of people who, rather than stopping to notice a heart wound that needs healing and actually getting it taken care of, choose to recycle same old patterns and same old outcomes...and proceed to see it as something continuously outside themselves.

For's not ok to be repeatedly hurt. Most definitely. unaddressed wound...becomes the very thing that steers the ship...and ultimately becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. It can direct the wounded to other unhealthy relationships, away from healthy ones or into the sabotage of healthy ones. Most definitely, wounds create grids that can make investment and assault indistinguishable. Reaction born of a defense mechanism judgment with no clarity to truly discern motives. Oh's so very sad.

Every. Single. Time.

And it doesn't have to be that way!!!

For every wound there's a healing. Yes, it hurts. And yes, it can feel uncomfortable and lonely...due to the fact that wounds, though icky, can actually become a strange comfort and less-than-ideal friend...but that healing-related loneliness is temporary!! It's the path to fullness and relationship.

So...if there's a screaming wound, be willing to see it...YES, you have to be WILLING to see it!!...and then let Jesus go there with you. Why would He want anything less than an unshackled life for you? He has shalom-peace in abundance, and He's just that good!

And for those left in the wake...oh man, there's healing for you too. Yes, I'm sure there's solace in the knowledge of and communication with others who've been run down by the same ship...but there's always individual healing for you too! Take it! Most definitely take any "checks" or accusations to the cross to eliminate any contributions on your part, but then...leave it at that. Take your healing and become a prayer warrior.

Oh, those screaming wounds... :(

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Resting Place...The King is Here

I'm so unfathomably obsessed with the "resting place"...intentionally pursuing the presence of it well...making my heart a good home. Jesus did this all the time when He walked the earth. He connected with the Father and was better able to bring the kingdom to others.

I stumbled on this song quite accidentally, but it opened my soul wide. Powerful truths to hold near...1, the King isn't far away...He's here. Eternity collides with this present, making His love more than a concept. It's a present reality. 2, "on earth as it is in heaven"...yep, the resources of the kingdom are available today. He's opened heaven's gates, so dive in. 3, I'm captured. Not in the sense of an unwilling the sense of knowing a love and a life that can be replaced by nothing else. Completely surrendered to and made more alive by...Him.

So...bask? Yes...enter the song and let His presence find a place to dwell within you. After doing so, you may find a greater sense of mission or purpose...and maybe even simply that you are not alone. :)

Here are a few of the lyrics.

The King is here, The King is here
He's alive inside of me
The King is here, The King is here
Love will never, ever leave

We worship and we praise
We lift Your holy name
We rejoice for our King is here
We're living to proclaim
You've opened heaven's gates
We rejoice for our King is here

You are here, You are here
You've come in power and majesty
God, You are here, You are here
Every heart has been set free

We are captured by You,
Surrendered to You
We'll never be the same
Because You are here
We're alive to praise You
Give all glory to You
We'll never be the same
Because You are here.



Wednesday, June 12, 2013

The Resting Place

Oh my. I love this! I can't even count how many times I've watched it...and still will!


Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Faithful God

My sweet Dad sent this to me. Such a great song to lean back into. Faithful God. :) I've been doing some moments of "resting place" lately. I honestly just visualize myself sitting in the Father's lap, all curled up in His safety...being "still" and knowing He is God. Peace is there. Shalom peace. :) And from that place???...yep, we pray some powerful things. Ya, baby! Good stuff.


Monday, June 10, 2013

Fear and the Resting Place

I've been listening to a sermon by Bill Johnson called "The Resting Place". It's actually refreshing to hear as it can be so easy to focus on "signs and wonders" aspects of kingdom life but totally neglect the true source of all that...the resting place. I'm actually delving a bit more into that concept in my Jesus study because He's doing that constantly...entering that place of shalom-peace to reconnect with the Trinity and refresh one's soul.

Anyway, one of the things Johnson mentions in the sermon really caught my attention. It related to fear and the resting place. He cautioned that entertaining fear in one's life directly limits the move of the Holy Spirit in and through us. The degree we don't take our fear to the resting place is correlated to the degree we limit the experience of His presence in the fearful situation and become an obstacle to the release of His solutions.


Lesson?...go to the resting place. it.

Saturday, June 8, 2013

Jesus101...Thinkings #1

The first story that's been on my mind in this Jesus obsession is from John 8. It's the story of Jesus and the woman caught in adultery. I know...weird place to start...but I can't shake it. It's just so disturbing yet powerfully beautiful. I guess that kind of describes most of Jesus' interactions...

Disturbing: All these pharisees drag a woman into the temple with the purposes of further humiliating her and causing trouble with the Christ...intent on ultimately killing her and also discrediting Jesus (with the goal of eliminating him as a threat at some point). They stand her up in front of the crowd and call Jesus out.

I put myself in her place and I'm overcome...dragged through the streets, maybe barely clothed, being cursed at and spit on, and then paraded in front of the supposed "holy" in full mockery... Oh, the fear, the shame, the loneliness. I'd want to die right there.

Beautiful: Jesus pauses to "write on the ground with His finger". Can I just say...over all the years I've heard so much speculation on what He was writing. Some think the sign of the cross or of the Christian "fish". Others think He started scribbling the specific sins of the accusers to expose their hypocrisy. You know what I think? I seriously believe we watched him pause to turn His heart toward the Father' listen for what His view, His will, His love was calling for. Amazing.

And then...oh then...He rises and defends her worth publicly. He assumes her worth in a culture that barely valued women, to religious legalists who'd rather spit on her value because of her sin...and to the woman herself who clearly didn't or couldn't live in such a way that owned her own preciousness. He defended true human worth when no one else would. Beyond listening to the Father's heart, His first action was honor, and all inhumane motives paled in the light He cast...

And just when you'd think He is done, He takes it further. Yep...the verse that the church has often utilized as a formulaic starting point rather than a capstone to honor. "Go and sin no more." What He's not saying is, "Ok, we're done here. Move along and stop doing what you've been doing.". He's not saying, "Get behind me, satan!". No, a little research into Greek shows that He is saying something along the lines of...brace yourself, people..."Now, pursue this journey you've just entered into!" with an affirmation of "because I know you can do it!". Seriously!!! That's what that means!!! It was a launching pad from a foundation of assumed and ascribed worth.

And it's no different for us...

When He looks at you...and when we listen to the beat of His heart for others...He blesses worth and invites us into the ownership of the weight of who He's made us to be. He asks us to pursue the journey we've now entered knowing that with Him we can do it! And...He asks us to get in the game, get dirty and cheer that journey for others.

It doesn't mean it won't be hard. It doesn't mean that it won't take time. What it means is that HE'S EXACTLY THAT GOOD!

The Hero of Worth. The Kingdom of Honor. The Calling into Healing, Hope...MORE.

I want to love the world like that!!!! And...I'd love to see the church known for such honor.


Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Jesus101...Thoughts Intro

I've been thinking a lot about Him lately...goodness, wanting to know Him more and know more about how He did what He did when here. The church likes to talk a lot about theological topics...and there are a ton which is great, but as a whole we don't talk a lot about Him and how we can be more like Him. Yes, we will do the "what would Jesus do?" method of evaluating our choices and behavior, but I want to be "like" him not just in modeling, but in asking "how did Jesus do...?" right alongside the consideration of His desire and will.

* I want to turn my ear to the Father's heart like He did and do what I see the Father doing...intentional mission.
* I want to love from a true source of love, not just a discipline.
* I want to walk in soulful agreement with the Godhead and be a more effective "releaser" of Presence and Power.

So...I've been diving in a bit more. Stepping into the stories, asking Him to show me who He is and how I can be like Him...because...well...I don't want to be a "good Christian" anymore. I want to be a child of God, expressing the heart of God's kingdom and utilizing all the resources of heaven.

And, yep...I"m gonna be a-bloggin' about it. ;)

Tuesday, June 4, 2013


Here's a new one! I've been asked to perform a wedding! I'm not a pastor, so I'll have to do a little research! Interesting opportunity! :)

Sunday, June 2, 2013

The Career Sweet Spot

I've heard of this notion of the "Career Sweet Spot" before. The place of intersection of these things:

1. Your strengths and skills.

2. Your passions and interests.

3. Your purpose and calling.

Where those three overlap is a place of fulfillment.

I've been rolling these around in my head again. Evaluating life direction...even if it doesn't mean a change of job (although that'd be nice some day)...just to have a better sense of who I am and what I'm made to do in my life. Good stuff!


I'll tell ya what. I absolutely despise gossip. For whatever reason, there are people who can't resist. Truly...poor expression of humanity.

Man, it was a bad ending to my school year with that sort of behavior. Spinning things. Totally lying. It was bad. was so hard to not be too rocked by it.

What gets me, though, is adults. Christian adults. they pretend they aren't a part of it...right to your face...but behind your back...knife in position.


So...for is absolutely foolish to place trust with a gossip. Yep, I draw huge boundary lines when I find that sad state to be true. Less vulnerability. No confidence. More preservation. Gotta do it...and apparently, gotta do it again. :(

Here's to summer!!...a more gossip-free zone!! Dear God, let it be so!

Thursday, May 30, 2013

Memory Keeper

One of the things I've realized as a long-term teacher (meaning that I end up being involved in kids' lives in some fashion for much of their education as opposed to a year or two) is that I become a "memory keeper" in some respects. Sometimes it's simple stories, lessons they've learned, perspectives on experiences that have shaped them. Other times it's bigger...the painful things, the tough challenges...being a witness in those moments.

I have a kiddo graduating this year for whom I've been a bit of a "memory keeper". Knowing his dad whom he lost at such a young age...and watching him grow and develop (in the 11 years since) into a wonderful young man. So, over the years, I've tried to celebrate his dad...the funny things, what his dad loved about his mom, the much his sons were the pride of his life.

The last conversation I had with his dad was about his desire for his sons to know Jesus and to be educated right alongside kids from other denominations. "It's all about Jesus. Right, Sarah?"...

But today...well...I guess I'm wondering if I did a good job keeping the memories.

Sigh...lots to celebrate...but you of those moments.

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Deep Breaths

Don't be baited! Yep...word to the wise! Here's how it is. Here's how it was. Here's how it will be. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Even if people would call your integrity into question...DON'T be baited into drama.

We make choices. We bear consequences. We move on.


It ain't a shame issue. It's not vindictive. It just is what it is. End of story.

Don't get baited into any more than that.

And...don't let the insult mean anything. It's "grown up" time.



Man...this weekend was so great! It's been so crazy-busy with work, with church, with a weekend to unplug and revitalize was so needed. It was a busy weekend but just what this girl needed. :) I think I reconnected a bit...enough to bring back to life one of my Life Theme Songs.

Here we go!!...Yep, I'm "trouble"! ;)

Friday, May 24, 2013

Out With A Bang Revisited

HAHAHAHA! Oh my. I was chatting with a couple of teachers today, and a topic came up that I hadn't thought about for years. Something I've really only talked about with a few people so...don't tell. ;)

When I finally had the chance to step back from my position at work to one that was better for my heart and sanity, I did something to officially go "out with a bang". It was a way of saying "Thank God!", "Screw this!" and "Here's to a new day!"...pretty much all in one.

I gathered a few of my trusted friends on staff one evening and had them stand guard at the doors...with their backs I streaked the hallway on rollerblades. Haha! Yep...I had my helmet, I had my wristguards, and I had long streamers on my elbows. Aaaaand...that was it.

No students. No parents. No employees. Just me and my friends...celebrating.

I guess we all need those "out with a bang" moments. At least, I do! Something a bit wild that closes the door to what was before and honors the heart as we look to what's new!

Fun to reminisce. :)

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Clarifying Ministry Focus

What a season of searching! For all kinds of reasons, I've been considering who I am and what I want to stand for as I move forward into ministry opportunities. Three things have surfaced as I've been evaluating...things I likely talk about a lot. Hehe.

1. Abba's Child. I keep coming back to what it truly means to be a child of God. Not just conceptually...true identity owned and unleashed. Moving from phrases like "sinner saved by grace", "believer", "follower", etc. to deeper, relational themes. So exciting.

2. Kingdom Living. I wonder if the church knows what it truly means to be an ambassador of His kingdom, bearing the great privileges and profound responsibilities of living out His kingdom life in every realm within which we operate.

3. Mission-Orientation. I'm not a very evangelism-wired gal, so when I say "mission", I'm not necessarily referring to the typical missionary approach to things. I'm talking about living with a sense of mission...impacting the world around us with our strengths, abilities, passions, and on and on and the simplest to grandest ways. Jumping off #2, it's being an intentional world-changer.

So...I'd like to be a part of something that partners with people to equip them and release them into the MORE. Of course, that begins with myself...moving more and more in my own journey...but then...oh baby...I'd love to serve in that way. :)

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Just When You Are Sinking...

I'll tell you what...God's so faithful. If I could tell you the list of situations that are weighing on my heart right'd agree that we all have those moments where it seems like we are sinking. Sometimes it's the stresses of normal life piling up...sometimes it's stuff you have to bear for others...sometimes it's when the sh## hits the fan and you have no control...sometimes it's spiritual warfare...

Nevertheless...just when it seems I am sinking under the weight of it...God shows up.

Sometimes it's a pure sense of His presence. Sometimes it's a miracle. Sometimes it's the kindness of people who care...wise words, loving actions, even the little things.

The problems don't always "poof" away, but my head is suddenly above water.

Yep...He's good. He's "with".

Oklahoma Help

Since the tornado, I've been thinking about heading down there. I don't know how to do much, but I can definitely clean up!! Here's a link to many organizations that are assisting. Most already have workers...they just need funds. The Samaritan's Purse site is looking for volunteers too. Sounds great!

Ways to Help Oklahoma

Samaritan's Purse

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Faster self. Hahaha! ;)


Figuring Out Where I Fit

I feel like I don't fit in. It's probably due to the fact that I'm always trying to get "sides" to see common ground, and "sides" don't usually like that. Yep, it plants me in No Man's Land all the time.

Evangelical, Emergent, Modern, Post-Modern...seeing great strengths and major flaws.

"Evangelical" can mean a whole heck of a lot more than "believe Jesus is your Savior and be saved"...politics, structures, formulas for how to address every "problem" including people...and I don't like it.

"Emergent" can mean a ton of "believe whatever you want so you can feel good"...without investing in healing and holiness...and I don't like it.

"Modern" can err so much on the side of propositional truth that it neglects divine encounter and revelation. Info without meaning. Behavior without cause. Doing without being.

"Post-Modern" can err so much on the side of relationship that it waters down truth. Love without honor. Relativity limiting maturity.

I...well...I just want Jesus.

I want to know Him more. I want to live out the kingdom life like He did. I want to be consumed with interaction with the Trinity to the degree that my identity is restored as an Abba's child and my destiny is unleashed everywhere.

Is that too much to ask? ;)

It might be true that I don't...and won' in anywhere. So learning to live with the tension??? Sigh. Wishing I had more soul friends right now...

Monday, May 20, 2013

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Where Shame Reigns

I'm becoming more convinced that we need to take the issue of shame more seriously. How we purvey we are driven by we are limited by it...

What shame is's probably good to clarify because our culture tends to make all kinds of good but tough things into synonyms for shame....and subsequently rejects opportunities to grow. Constructive criticism...not shame. Discipline in and of itself...not shame. Conviction...not shame. 

What shame sadly, it's spit on someone's soul. A direct assault on identity...implicating and condemning the value of one's existence. A person's worth depends on behavior or appearance. Instead of "I made a mistake.", it's "I am a mistake."

And sadly...once's hard to uproot. Time and time again, I interact with people who are owned by a shame-based grid. They suspect, they assume, they control, they have knee-jerk reactions...all based on a lie of shame or in extreme defense of old shame wounds.

Sigh. It's a crazy vortex to be caught up in...where shame reigns.

Thankfully, it's not God's heart for anyone!!! Nor does He want us to express it as His message to the world.

So, I'm spending some quality time...especially in light of a few tough interactions...evaluating my own junk. Taking time to rest in God's blessing of identity and considering my own grid.  Opposing shame with soulful affirmation. Praying for freedom for bound hearts...and restoration of community in broken places.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013


People who know me well know I'm competitive. For sure, I am. What I love more than winning though is a good game...a game where we can work well as a team and have good comradery with the opposition. If we lose but have played well...I'm cool.

Lord...there's something that gets under my skin though.

Obnoxiousness in a game.

Oh man. No freaking point...and so immature. Unfortunately, it gets under my skin. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

So...I've some choices to make. Have to survive a summer long of play against these yodel-heads. Don't want to ruin my own time.

Monday, May 13, 2013

Divine Thinking

A compilation of a few of Bill Johnson's sermons from Bethel Church in Redding, CA

Prayer FIRST

I'll tell ya what. I've never been more convinced of anything than this. Prayer...and spiritual warfare...are more effective in bringing change than any other strategy. Not necessarily the only method used in the restoration of kingdom life and purposes...but most definitely the required foundation.

Here's why I think it's been difficult for me. Well, first...I'm a "do-er", and prayer doesn't always feel like "doing". Yep, that's Productivity101 for "get it done!". The second, though, and most important and EFFECTIVE distinction is...control. One of the major steps in warfare is the giving of someone you love into God's hands. Major trust issue. Sometimes it is easier to hold on ourselves and do everything we think is wise and needed...forgetting that spiritual eyes submitted to God see better than any other point of vision. Putting us in the position of surrendering and agreeing with God's plan...yet, in our smallness, it's hard to relinquish control in the "saving" of another. Doing so, though, clears ME out of the way of the full release of the Holy Spirit to bring freedom.

Major "Ah-hah" moment for me.

Yep...this girl is convinced. Prayer FIRST...and continued.

Friday, May 10, 2013

Wrong Answer

Every human has "core questions". Some are general. Some are specific. Identity questions.

“We need to know who we are and if we have what it takes. What do we do now with the ultimate question? Where do we go to find an answer? In order to help you find the answer to The Question, let me ask you another: What have you done with your question? Where have you taken it? You see. a man’s core question does not go away.” John Eldredge, Wild at Heart

The problem is we tend to take our core questions to people or situations that aren't meant to answer them. We take our questions to a member of the opposite sex, to a career, to anything that can give us life really. Inevitably, we find a degree of dissatisfaction with those relationships or circumstances...because they aren't filling us the way we'd like (simply because they can't). So we find ourselves brokenhearted or center-stage in a HUGE mess.

“God requires a new set of questions: What are you trying to teach me here? What issues in my heart are you trying to raise through this? What is it you want me to see? What are you asking me to let go of?” John Eldredge, Wild at Heart

“Yes. True strength does not come out of bravado. Until we are broken, our life will be self-centered, self-reliant; our strength will be our own.” John Eldredge, Wild at Heart

“The spiritual life begins with the acceptance of our wounded self.” Brennan Manning

From that broken place...letting questions help us see struggles for what they are...we can access The Source. Yep...the questions are designed to be be God.

“A car is made to run on gasoline, and it would not run properly on anything else. Now God designed the human machine to run on himself. He himself is the fuel our spirits were designed to burn, or the food our spirits were designed to feed on. There is no other.” CS Lewis

To do otherwise is to live a life that repeats a cycle. Keeps us always focused on "greener grass" because it could never be about anything internal. We keep hoping to find our life in someone else, in the perfect job, in any addictable... But until we reach the place where we are willing to acknowledge our inner question...and stop expecting answers from anywhere else...we will live like a hamster in a wheel. Again...and again...and again...being dissatisfied...using others and situations for more than their design.

And what is the design of relationships and opportunities???...they are places we can EXPRESS our God-answered identity questions...places that can AFFIRM who we really are. 

There's so much more to life! 

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Being Fathered

I just love movie clips that show fathers in a positive light. Unfortunately, they are too rare for Hollywood. :( Sometimes, when I see a great "dad" clip, I'm prompted to pause and consider the Father and my relationship to Him. I have to ask how much I'm allowing Him to release me into whatever He's made me for...identity and destiny. And beyond that...more importantly...I have to ask how much I am engaging in relationship with Him. Delight from and towards Him. Why do I have to ask???...because it's a desire in His heart towards all of us. And truly a desire in ours. Letting Him Father us.



Sunday, May 5, 2013

I Came. I Saw. I Conquered.

During worship today, I kept hearing the phrase, "I came. I saw. I conquered.". It was God describing the work of the cross...that He came, He saw, and He conquered. So true! As I kept focusing on that, the phrase started to change...saying that because of this..."We come. We see. We conquer." We can surrender and receive relationship as children of the good Father...we can ask to see what He sees...we can step into whatever He places before us with Him and His power, knowing He's already won.

So...what's keeping that from happening? Sometimes ignorance. Sometimes obstacles. Sometimes just a simple decision. Probably good to consider...because He sure has a treasure to offer. A treasure of Himself. ;)

Friday, May 3, 2013

Dead Poets...Speak Truth

Fantastic reminders to live your own, original story. Your calling is NOT to live out a copy of someone else's. Seize the Day and Be YOU!


Selling Water by the River

I believe I'll be taking on a new reading challenge! As soon as I'm done with Manning's memoir, Shane Hipps' book will be the assignment! The life Jesus called us to versus the lesser "religion" we often's a passion of mine too! I so want to be "a tree replanted in Eden" as the Message version of Psalm 1 states. A fuller, eternal

Sounds like it's a bit controversial. I'm sure his material will be instantly misunderstood by some...assuming what he's saying or not without their own study. Certainly, some will say he's a proponent of "all roads lead to God". I'm guessing he's not going there. But...perhaps not reaching some of the same conclusions, I'll relish the challenge to think and step into more of what God has for our hearts!

Jesus certainly didn't come to set up a religion. Likely, that's hard for some to swallow. It's a relief at the same time though! Goodness, it is! Not remotely to be relative or say that what we believe about Christ is unimportant!!!! It's just that His mission was far bigger!!! He came to release us into true Life...and I suspect we so don't understand all the possibilities of that for today.

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Truman's Exit

Truman, Truman, Truman. Yep...a fictitious man whose story I can't forget. A man who grew up in a scripted original man in a fake and safe "box". It reminds me so much of the freedom that comes when we step out of religion (and by that I'm referring to our little legalisms...or big ones) and into grace. Now that's a life!

Yep, I so identify. Coming up against the walls...knowing there's so much more beyond. So much goodness right from God's heart. Walking through... :)


Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Lessons from Lion King

Lessons to remember... #1 If you forget who the Father is, you forget who you are. #2 The past does hurt...but you can either run from it or learn from it.

The "New" Unity

I grew up in a church that holds a core value of unity in the body of Christ. Historically, it meant encouraging brothers and sisters in Christ from all of the different denominations to grab hands around our common, core Truth...and allowing grace for the lesser disagreements. In a day when Catholics/Protestants or Baptists/Pentacostals all thought the other was "going to hell" was a huge challenge. Still can be. But one well worth it.

Today, though, it seems that unity in the body has other challenges.

Certainly, the younger generation isn't as focused on denominations. They are more disgusted with how the church doesn't appear to "love thy neighbor" and steward the earth. They are leaving because they have reacted to the polarizing power of Democrat vs. Republican and all of the issues that fall into those camps, the pushing of propositional truth over active relationship with Jesus or legalism vs. grace and holiness...dividers of a different sort. (Note: I'm not convinced their reaction and subsequent removal has been correct. They could have brought change in profound response to legitimate observations...sigh.)

It has me thinking about how we can be a united people that once again bring true kingdom life...preserve community...with joint passion for the Christ and commitment to peace in the disagreements.

Like in the early it possible to relate to each other from the truest position of being Abba's children?? Even when it comes to our politics, our approaches to the world, etc...?

I think so.

I hope so.

Monday, April 29, 2013

Beyond the word...

A really great "check" for me while I was on my retreat...during one of the prayer times, I decided to grab my Bible and do some reading. Somehow I ended up in John...great book, by the way, for getting to know a bit of who Jesus is. It was John 5, specifically...a section where Jesus is speaking to the pharisees who were always out to evaluate (and persecute) Him for being so religiously and spiritually uncouth. #irony

"You study the Scriptures diligently because you think that in them you have eternal life. These are the very Scriptures that testify about me, yet you refuse to come to me to have life." John 5:39-40

Man, oh man...that stopped me in my tracks. Wasn't even looking for something like that but it caught my attention BIG TIME.

Their source of life was scripture (well, that and their pride in following the law)...and not the Son of God that the words pointed to. HE is the source of life beyond the written word. Yep...reminded me of another passage in Scripture that refers to Jesus as the "Word" that "became flesh".

Word vs. word...

It makes me stop and ask the I truly find my life in Christ who is THE Word? I allowing the word to guide me to the Word?...or am I finding my source in the pages...

Not that the Bible is in any way's just that...well...the Word, the Life, Jesus...and the life we can find with MORE. So much more...beyond.


“Therefore I am now going to allure her;
    I will lead her into the wilderness
    and speak tenderly to her.
15 There I will give her back her vineyards,
    and will make the Valley of Trouble a door of hope.
There she will respond as in the days of her youth,
    as in the day she came up out of Egypt." Hosea 2:14-15

I went on a women's retreat this weekend. It wasn't the typical event with an agenda. It was literally a retreat...a get-away...with only a few others. We talked some, shared challenges and victories, walked in nature, prayed together and did some "soaking prayer". It was for me being "allured"...being lead into the wilderness. My heart was able to disconnect from the messes of life and reach peace with Him. 

Coming hard., I'm reminding myself of the things He said and the ways He ministered to the needs, wants and losses...sometimes with vision, sometimes with silence, sometimes with friendship... He's so good...and He promises that the peace we find with Him doesn't have to depend on anything other than our heart's position in Him. Holding that truth today. :)

Wilderness Fellowship

I want to highlight a unique ministry in Wisconsin...not too far from Grantsburg. Wilderness Fellowship maintains a property designated for getting away to spend time with God. They have a variety of options including rustic cabins, camp sites, a fully equipped retreat center and many prayer cabins. Did I mention trails?? Yep!!! They have a ton of trails. I've been to three retreats there using the beautiful, log Fellowship Center. My next adventure will be a prayer cabin!

Fellowship Center

Prayer Cabins

Friday, April 26, 2013

HIV Teen Testimony

What a wonderful story!!! See???...there is goodness all around. :)


Drama-Free Weekend

Going to a women's retreat! I cannot even begin to explain how excited I am to get away this weekend. It's a break I've been praying for...totally unplugging from my life and all the plates I spin. Been running around crazy for the last...goodness...year? Many months for sure. Every area of the "pie" has had challenges lately. Feeling the weight of life and feeling I'm a disappointment. Exhausted. Can you tell? Hehe. ;) 

So...I'm going to get away with God and some great ladies! Hoping to get outside too. Nature and I are in love. ;)

With's a little Mary J. Blige. Yep...go big or go home.


Thursday, April 25, 2013

Boyd regarding Women

I had the opportunity of having Greg Boyd as a college professor. He impacted my faith greatly. Sometimes showing me the relationship possibilities that exist with the Father...but also through challenge...getting me to "own" my faith by responding to his "devil's advocate" arguments. I don't land the same as he does on some issues (open view of the Bible, vegetarian, pacifist...), but I love how he searches Scripture and wrestles with issues. His heart is towards God...great surrender. Here's a sermon he did on the issue of women in ministry. Interesting thoughts.

I personally wrestle with the issue of women as elders...not a ton, but I can see the argument there. Having male elders hasn't hindered me in ministry because my elders really have a healthy view of authority and release women into ministry. I also respect them and want their covering and insight. Hmm. ;)


Gosnell Thoughts

Conservative circles are passing around a flurry of information about Dr. Kermit Gosnell, the doctor accused of murder in a Philadelphia women's clinic. As a pro-life lady (card-carrying member of Fem For Life), I can identify with the sorrow and the desire for justice. What I hesitate at, though, is the return of disrespect for life...regarding his. For me...while utterly awful circumstances...necessitating justice obviously...Jesus was pretty clear on his heart for the lost as much as the found.

Matthew 5:43-48 - Love for Enemies
43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47 And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect."

So...I'm sorry to say...then again maybe I'm not...I'm praying for this lost man. Pretty sure his life is as precious to God as are the lives of the victims. And...I'm praying for placement of the right people who will...not with hatred and vengeance...but with him meet the God whose kindness leads us to repentance.

Thoughts by Anne Graham Lotz

Wow...I appreciate how she views this as a stepping stone.



For a few weeks now, I've felt the call of "Ever After". of my Cinderella-style favs.


Wednesday, April 24, 2013

The Message of the Discontent

An excerpt from "Captivating" by Stasi Eldredge that came up in my devotional feed this morning.

"A woman's struggle with her sense of worth points to something glorious she was designed to be. The great emptiness we feel points to the great place we were created for. It's true. All those legends and fairy tales of the undiscovered Princess and the Beauty hidden as a maid are more accurate than we thought. There's a reason little girls resonate with them so."

Fr. Gregory Boyle and Homeboy Industries

Wow...Great Challenge!!


Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Jesus in the Middle

A woman told me a story once...a moment from her life. She had an experience with Jesus during a moment of abuse that impacted her view of her safety and security...something that strengthened her heart and kept her moving in pursuit of relational health.

She and her spouse were in a verbally tense conversation...becoming increasingly abusive...and she was prompted to leave the room to decelerate the situation. Well...that didn't go over too well. He followed her down the hall hurling words aimed right for her heart. As she turned to face him, she realized she was looking right at Jesus. He was between them. She watched her husband's words come out of his mouth and pierce through Jesus' back. The words didn't stop there though...they passed through Him and came out as His words to her heart. Words of love, Her heart was protected...and she was able to respond accordingly. While her marriage did not last, her heart found a new strength and peace...all because Jesus was in the middle. is a story that has been challenging my own heart lately. Looking at the past...applying it to the present. Having Jesus in the middle of my messy moments.

During the singing part of worship on Sunday, the image invaded my mind as I was wrestling with a couple of those "old" scenarios. The kind that push the bitterness buttons. I was telling God that I'd like to be done with having those moments press on my heart the way they do. And without any that moment of my visual prayer...I saw Jesus move between me and my "enemies". He was right in the middle. His position was such that His form completely covered theirs. I could only see Him. His eyes. Bitterness fell away. Peace replaced it.

I have to's a visual I am continuing to use. So unbelievably helpful in focusing solely on Him...and letting anything else that would tear at the heart just fall away. Responding from that place??...powerful.

Wow...Jesus in the Middle.

(The song we were singing in church when my prayer took a turn.) :)


Monday, April 22, 2013

Tough One

Ugh...convictions. Those deeply held beliefs about God, ourselves, morality, roles, responsibilities.... We all have them. We all value them.

And...we all need to respect them in others. (with obvious exceptions in issues of the value of life and justice)

It's God's way...the way of honor.

Sometimes there are issues where a compromise in convictions is actually possible. Appropriate moments to have exceptions to the rule. Other times...they separate us.

Oh,'s so sad when disagreement in convictions has to be the force that alters a course...for a time...for always. So very sad.

But expecting someone to be someone they aren't...that seems somehow worse. A tragedy.

I try to guard my heart pretty closely when I know there's an issue that will relate to...well, the heart of area where I feel a great deal of divine freedom. Way more personal than the average issue. But, all the insulation in the world can't completely brace against the weight of knowing that our heart's "yes" has to be another's "no". Nothing prepares a person for that...on all sides. But...being realistic on the front end...probably way better in the long-run. Honoring who people are...always good.

Subjecting God

Topic aside...there is an awesome challenge in this video of Francis Chan. Wow. Wow. Wow...a good "check" for all of us and our tendency to make God (or our picture of God) subject to our reasoning. Whoa.


Sunday, April 21, 2013

Demand Change Event

Wow. A great event on the horizon. Getting serious about sex-trafficking. May 3rd-4th in St. Paul. See Demand Change Website for more information!