It's true! I have a mind that grabs ideas and thinks and thinks and thinks...hoping the Holy Spirit will give me a bit more insight. Why?...well, OCD could be a contributor...Haha! But...I just really want to know more about kingdom realities..."know" in an experiential way...because I suspect our understanding is so much less than God's design.
Wouldn't it be so amazing if we as the church could live out more accurately the desires of God's heart?
So, I can't get "Grace" out of my mind. It spins over and over and over... The reason is that the definition that the church tends to live out seems so lacking and actually inappropriate sometimes...limiting our ability to love, forgive and invest well. We live something like this, "God's grace forgave a loser like me and keeps me from a life of eternal fire and damnation. I try to remind myself daily how much His grace puts up with crap like me." That or we do something like this, "God's grace means I can live however I want because He and I are cool. If I want to keep doing things that break my own heart or the hearts of others, no problem! He's just happy I'm saved." It all seems...severely limited. Especially as we get to know God's heart more.
I'm starting to think that it might take all of eternity to grasp the magnificence of Grace. That long because God is so beautifully good and beyond our mind's comprehension. We will experience it but not be able to find the words... I love that.
Here's my thought this week. A snapshot of Grace. The focus of Grace isn't sin. It speaks to it, conquers it...but its focus is more permeating in the spirit. It has its sight set on sources of sin...the roots, the wounds, the brokenness. He knows those things can be healed and restored, and He actually can and does! AND...beyond that...in its cross-hairs is DESIGN. Grace embraces "becoming"...believes that the words of powerful identity divinely written on the heart can truly be illuminated by His presence and unleashed in this lifetime!!!
It ain't just forgiveness and a "get outta hell" ticket for life's losers!!! It ain't just "get outta hell" and live apathetic to growth and freedom!!!
It's this...He takes a girl like me...as I was and as I can be...forgives me, heals my broken heart and the wounds that torment me and fills them with beauty and wholeness, and inspires and launches me into a life where I will express the identity and the gifts of the daughter He's made me to be. I'll know eternity today...and someday even more fully.
I want to see myself like that...and the world. A life of compassion and investment.