Wednesday, December 30, 2009


oh my GOSH! i LOVE chris brown!! i know!!!...there's probably something crazy about that, but it's true!!! what a great song about forgiveness! he must be trying to get back together with rihanna after all the 'yuck'. wonder if she'll do it. he'd have to do some major proving...hmm. oh well, regardless...great forgiveness song...the journey of it...sigh.

Just Can't Bring Myself To...

ok...there's a song my kids like...catchy tune even...but...well, it has the word "iPod" in it!!! what??? i'm really sorry...but i just can't bring myself to enjoy a song that actually says that in the lyrics. over and over and over... doesn't that seem really weird???

check it out if you want...


Tuesday, December 29, 2009


i didn't think i'd like the movie, but i actually enjoyed it. ok, well, and i also saw it in 3d which was AMAZING!!!! i'm a girl with an "easily amused" button, was fab! it did get a little weird in places with all the energy stuff...and the hints at uber-"green" and the iraq war controversy...but other than that bull honk, it had a great message...or was at least entertaining. :)

Monday, December 28, 2009

My Goal for 2010

i don't usually make goals or resolutions for the new year. this time, though, i've decided to give myself a challenge. i'm going to read the bible all the way through!! i even found a free podcast that will help me if i can't get my eyes to the page some days. the '1 year daily audio bible' on itunes!!!

here's the other cool part. this is in no way a religious endeavor for me. i actually want to give it a shot because more and more the scripture is becoming like chocolate for opposed to brussel sprouts. ;)

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Chris Tomlin's Christmas CD

i'm not usually a fan of christmas cds...a little o.d.'ed, i think.


i was riding with my parents to our family christmas gathering today, and dad put this cd in the car's player. i was a freaking crazy girl!!! LOVED IT!

one favorite is his arrangement of 'joy to the world'...i LOVE the part called 'unspeakable joy' that he's added. i also LOVE the song 'born that we may have life'. at the end (around 3:30) he adds a choir...ohhhhh nelly, am i a fan of a good african-american choir!! woooooo-heeee! so, here's some more listening pleasure!

perhaps dancing is in order??? ;)

Saturday, December 26, 2009

A Gun for Christmas...Hehe!

so i woke up on christmas eve morning and started preparing to go out and shovel like a crazy girl. as i was getting all suited up, i looked out my living room window and stopped short.

...sometimes my life has this weird "quirk" stamped all over it...

there were 4 wild turkeys walking through my lawn. strutting their stuff like they owned the world.

weird thing...

while yes, admiring the mouth started to want them.


i guess i'm more carnivore than herbivore...and i don't even know if they taste good.

so next year...i'm hoping santa brings me a gun...maybe a pink one. i'd like try to shoot my own food in my own lawn...and then hire out for the prepping and preparing. hehe!

Friday, December 25, 2009

Minor Irritation

i don't always enjoy the verbal freedoms that alcohol affords some people. it's embarassing sometimes...especially when it's at my expense. oh bother...

"Intervention" episode

i'm a huge fan of the show 'intervention'. i just LOVE watching people who are really in desperate heart-pain start taking steps towards healing. sometimes it works...sometimes it doesn't. but, nothing is wasted in the attempt to win freedom. anyway, the man in this episode seemed like a really brokenhearted man...and i loved his ending.

intervention - coley

Thursday, December 24, 2009

A Christmas Gift for the Ladies :)

My Tree

it's not new news that i absolutely love twinkle lights. i actually often ponder how to have them up all year...still working on that. well, when it is officially past thanksgiving, my tree gets put up...and doesn't come down until...february?? hehe. i love putting on the lights, the burgundy bows, the glittery ornaments, my angel...ahhh, pure heaven. well, i've started adding something else to my tree routine. you know the photo cards that people tend to send now instead of cards?? i put those in different places all over the tree. it makes it even more perfect to me...decorated with the people i love. :)

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Cool Verse

i received a birthday card in which the author had written a wonderful verse. it's very encouraging to me for some reason. :)

Isaiah 30:29 "And you will sing as on the night you celebrate the holy festival; your hearts will rejoice as when people go up with flutes to the mountain of the Lord, the Rock of Israel."

Christmas song

this is one of my absolute favorite christmas songs!! i think mariah carey also sings it. the first time i heard it was at a christmas concert with several christian musicians. 'avalon' came out and started singing was really overwhelming for me. well...this christmas has been so amazing. more than pages of a story, the coming of christ to 'save me in every way a person can be saved' is a living story for me. my hero came!!!...and he romances my heart every single day! :)

Ally McBeal!!!

have you ever loved a television series? loved it because of the characters...and because it was with you during a particular season of life. oh my....'ally mcbeal' would have to be one of those for me. granted, it's a little off-color...but my, oh my, i love the quirky ally!! i identify with her so much.

well, i've been looking for the seasons for YEARS!! i couldn't find any. even 'amazon' only sold the version playable in other countries (some different type or whatever). well...i didn't kn0w it was recently released until the other night with my sissy. we both about fell over in the 'target' aisle. i couldn't afford the whole shabang, so i had to settle for the first season...


last night, two of my good friends surprised me with the WHOLE THING!! i almost cried my eyes out!! AND...i actually slept with the box last night.

yes...i can bond with characters and/or cardboard. hehe!

Holy Shmoly!!

do you ever run into a 'heartstopper'??? oh my gosh!!...there are, of course, all kinds of beautiful people (personally, i subscribe to a universal beauty philosophy.), but every once in a while i run into someone who's...absolutely a heart stopper. sheesh...did today at 'cub foods' of all places. a man helping an older man (father?) shop. tall, full, dark...AHHH! i actually stopped dead in my tracks. he didn't walk right over and sweep me off my feet...could have been that the tongue on the floor was a HAHAHAHA!'s to beauty everywhere!!! :D

Monday, December 21, 2009

What to do...

i'm not a "group-y". regarding church, that is. i don't strive to be a member of the methodist clan, the baptist clan, the pentocostal clan, etc. i just want to be a jesus-girl...and don't really give a rip about the rest. because of that, i actually enjoy what god is doing in the church worldwide...because it's not about numbers, competition and membership guidelines. it's about love.

but i've hit a snag...

what do i do when i stumble across a group that teaches about jesus but has some other serious issues that i strongly disagree with?? what about when they snag people into their nets that i love??

i have a hard time letting it be "ok".

in fact...i actually want to flippin' tell some people off. (hence the "seeing red" from earlier...)

i've been reading paul's thoughts in 1 corinthians because it seems there was some drama with a guy named apollos who was also a minister...well, and drama with the people who made heroes of men with subsequent pissing matches. his thoughts actually are frustrating to me. he asks that we let things be about christ and the preaching of him...even if there are other things we disagree with. and THEN he goes further to encourage trust in god to reveal things in the right time. his freakin' high road...

all that alongside what god's been daring me to do regarding loving the tough people in my life.

i'm so mad right now...i could spit nails.

so i'm weighing things. saying something??...possible. praying about it???....definite. :)

Watching Kids Suffer

one thing i don't like about my job...watching kids with debilitating conditions. 'nuf said.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Someday my life in song...?

music is a living thing for me. some arrangements make my soul feel like it has left my body...i love it! so, i've been looking at people's lists of "best musical scores" and stumbled across this one. i hope my life sounds like this someday. :)

(i love the piano addition in the second one...hmm, maybe that one...)

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Movin' On

man, am i thankful for my family and friends!! i have a tiny problem...when i get pissed off. i lose all possible powers of rationality. i started seeing spots...start foaming at the mouth...hehe. i had one of those recently...and started looooooooosing it!! ;) because see...i'm just so tired of toxic people. they get away with so much sh## and get to just walk away leaving tons of slime after they go. i know i should be happy when they finally move on out of dodge...but i just have a hard time letting go of the fact that they get to leave messes and bring others down with them. (ya, i'm more on the side of justice...hehe.) god's grace i usually have one moment of "sense" when i get ticked. for some reason i call mom or dad or a friend...and usually choose the right ones to call in the moment...the ones that will help me return to peace and balance and trust know...the more rested place of the heart.

still ticked...but not seeing so much red. HAHA!

"One More Time"

we had a school dance last night. lots of fun! one of the kids played this song...and i loved it! somehow it seems familiar to me...somewhere in that past of mine. ;) well, anyway, it's a new dance fav of mine...and my new workout partner!!! (ya, i have a pretty eclectic music love...a little techno apparently!)

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Abby's Licensing

a huge 'congrats' to abby!! the elders at church agreed to license her this week. :) what gifts she excited!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Roberts Article...Ridiculous!

i just read an article about the death of oral roberts (controversial person indeed). i then clicked to the "discussion" about the article.

ya, here's where the blog parts from any discussion of the actual facts of the article...and moves to the ridiculous hypocrites who have to make issue of any blasted thing!

whether it's from those who hate the notion of "god" and/or hate people who like the idea of a god...or whether it's people that supposedly claim to be "loving", what freakin' bottom-feeders!!!

how some can claim an intellectual "prowess" because of their atheistic enlightenment or how others can claim a "prowess" of a different sort...of the spiritual type...yet BOTH can be undeniably, disrespectfully SMALL and PREJUDICED.

not a very good "poster child" for the team...EITHER TEAM.

wow. incredibly bizarre...ohhhhh, the little.

Birthday God Song

well...god is my major hottie. ;) i got a gift this morning in a song that was soooo....wonderful. i think most people know that my relationship with god is a bit...odd. HAHA! but i LOVE it!!! there! ;) for more details on that read chapter 8 in the book 'journey of desire'. holy shmoly!!

i can't exactly post the song that spoke to my heart...i think it'll throw some a crazy curve ball. so, i'm going to post the link to my god-love theme song. it's "forever" by chris brown. seriously, watch the video with the notion of 'messianic undertones'...meaning with chris brown as a "jesus-type" character. the flashes of light are the "WE" (the trinity...the with-god life). the lady is me, you...whoever. (we just all may not have the rockin' bod...hehe).


Thursday, December 10, 2009

Favorite Adorable Cartoon Character

chilly willy...LOVE him! :)

Great Quote!!

"A truth's initial commotion is directly proportional to how deeply the lie was believed. It wasn't the world being round that agitated people, but that the world wasn't flat. When a well-packaged web of lies has been sold gradually to the masses over generations, the truth will seem utterly preposterous and its speaker a raving lunatic."

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Proof of my BAD Luck

i hate to share these things, but i feel the need...especially when people question the fact that i have very, very bad luck. VERY! it's just true.

well...enter state's evidence #46237.

i was experiencing the loveliness of my bathroom (i.e. on the "pot"), reached for something...and FELL OFF the toilet.

that's right...FELL....OFF.

who does that?

that's :)

no need to question my lack of luck EVER again.


granted, i do actually know a few that don't prove my point...haha...


good grief!!! i want to absolutely scream sometimes from frustration!!!

i don't know what it is...a pride of sorts? just a smaller sphere of operation?? well, whatever it is...i wish i could offer some tips for working with the rest of the population.

i work in a school, so i bet you are wondering where my frustration comes from...but i have TONS of interactions from participating in athletics to newly enrolling in school, etc., etc., etc.,...

for those that are getting ready to freak out...YES, there are some positives...but i just wish there was a way to show them how some of their patterns, systems, etc. actually impact others...because it doesn't always seem like there is that awareness.

today's struggle...time.

i think because they operate on their own schedules...and ones of their's hard to be respectors of others' time. at least, it seems like there's little connection that other people have obligations too. thus...waiting. followed by more...waiting. all the while becoming more and more late for my previous commitments.

AHHHH! i could pull my hair out...except that i'm trying to grow it out. so...maybe i could pull their hair out. hmm...

Interesting Wisdom!!

today, i heard someone say "you are your strongest when you know you can ask for help."

that took me back a bit...

because asking for help is one of my biggest struggles.

hmm...seems like a great breakthrough is on its way. :)

Monday, December 7, 2009

'Titanic' Documentary

i'm in love with anything related to the 'titanic'. the stories, artifacts, documentaries...and of course THE movie (saw it 7 times in the theater!!!). i stumbled across this on youtube and have been totally enthralled (and saddened). it's very interesting.

Titanic Episode (i think there are many sections to view.)

The Purge

haha...ya, it's a weird title.

i'm an emotionally-wired crying (for happy or sad or in between) is a regular thing. sometimes, though, i notice that i'm a bit pent up. i don't know if it's because life gets so stressful sometimes with all my running around that i don't get my normal "vent" spots. it could be that intercessory thing sometimes too. maybe it's just my heart wrestling with things. whatever the reason, i've been feeling a bit of a storm lately with no way to vent it.

well, it finally started to come up a little last night when my dad came over to install my new stools. for some reason his presence usually gives me a bit of permission to feel. it's weird...but he's cool like that without even knowing he's having that effect. so somehow him just being here last night loosened something...but that was it. just loosened.

leave it to 'home makeover'...hahaha. open the floodgates, people. sweet! purge the soul!!! :)

Sunday, December 6, 2009



oh my gosh...i seriously almost hurled when i took a huge wiff of molasses the other night. i had some lovely little ladies over for some cooking-baking and was trying to make some dough before they came. i decided to try ginger bread men. granted, i enjoy the taste of the those...but the molasses in the pre-cookie fashion???...EWWW! and then i noticed that the container says "unsulfured"...what the freak does that mean?? and does "sulfured" molasses smell better??? i recall that sulfur reminds me of yellowstone national park and/or rotten eggs.

oh my gosh...i'll never be the same.

molasses has ruined me...and not in a good way. i'm having nightmares. ;)

Free Month at Snap

well...i'm a power-walker. although, it's getting colder, so i become a bit of a pansy (deb, my uber-walking partner fears nothing when it comes to the elements...but i'm a wuss.). i've been wanting to get back in shape though because i've been letting things go in that department for a while...hehe. so, jody got a letter from 'snap fitness' last week giving our teachers a free month if we were interested. "free" was the key word to me. so we checked it out...and are now signed up (4 of us so far...2 with families!!).

i'm going to try to get the most out of my free month...hey, if you want to come, i can bring guests!!!

OH...i tried it today, and i HATE the 'eliptical'. in a matter of seconds, places hurt in my body that i didn't know could...AHHH! i'll keep trying though...i'm a glutton for punishment. ;)

My Daddy and Mommy!...They're Amazing! ;)

so i was telling my dad about how i wished i had more counter space in my kitchen. (i've been "practicing" more in that department...hehe). i LOVE my kitchen because the original owners designed it for tall people...higher counters!!!...but, there is so little of that priceless counter space. :)

he built me a high table...two halves actually so i can pull it apart and make a buffet line-up!! sweet!

and then today i get a call from mommy and daddy that they have my birthday gift at their house...4 stools for my high table!!!!

i'm in heaven!!! :) THANKS, mom and dad!!!

Friday, December 4, 2009

Sacred Grounds

i'm getting excited for tonight! there's a weekly worship/teaching service at a local coffee shop. i've heard a TON of great things about what god is doing through the ministry (becky dezurik runs it...check her out online). well, tonight, i get to take a whack at a teaching. it'll be a good challenge for me...but mostly, i'm hoping i'm able to share what god's wanting to say. it's at 7pm if you are local and interested. :)

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Mommy, I'm scared!

keep going after their weird's...terrifying. (thanks, melise!...AHHH!)

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

A Plastic Fear...HAHA!

i went to have my 'grape nuts' at school this morning. usually i eat out of a special bowl. i know...i'm weird like that. well, someone else used my bowl today, so i was left with the task of choosing a different one.

you would think that a bowl is just a bowl...


jeez! not for this girl, apparently!

many of the alternatives were plastic, and it about made me nauseous!!!

i'm a FREAK!!! :)

the thought of eating my cereal out of plastic makes me feel like something is wrong with the world. ohhhhhh my!

BUT...i feel i'm right! HAHA! i have absolutely no plans of changing my eating apparatii.


i think...if i have a daughter someday...that i'm going to name her 'eden'. ya, random topic. it's just that i've been studying it for a teaching, and every day i'm more and more enamored with the concept. the word itself means 'delight'. i just love that so much.


ohhhhh's true. i actually had a student ask me to explain what "e.d." is.

"e.d.?" [thought to self, "please not what i think she's asking..."]

"erectile dysfunction." [thought to self, "crap"]

"well, it's time for chemistry class, so let's explain that another time." [thought to self, "hopefully you'll forget."]

why me, god??? WHY??


Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Bubble Wrap

it's not new news that i LOVE bubble wrap. it could keep me occupied for hours...umm, and has!! my friend sarah sent this to me, and i laughed out loud...and still don't feel guilty in the least. i wonder if that means that i have no popping conscience., i don't care!! :)

The Golden Child

i've never understood why people have to have their particular "golden child" of the moment.


Monday, November 30, 2009

My Kind of Humanism

we've been discussing secular humanism for a recertification process. i'm not a major proponent of it. it's filled with so much dissatisfying irony for me...the kind that actually robs humanity of value and the fullness of life. how in the world we could be satisfied with the "elevation" of man to the level of animal is beyond me....??....accepting that there is absolutely no "absolute" truth...oh, except the absolute truth of evolution. and then to accept that our personalities, our relational bonds, etc...are simply the happenstance of chemical just doesn't make sense. it robs life of its magic..of beauty...of true love.

not a believer.

however...i'm also not a fan of a religious humanism either that pops up in christendom. that being "human" is somehow evil and/or weak. that our goal should be to become less human and more holy by living a life that is shackled to an acceptance of the fact that we are "sinners" saved from the hell that our humanness only leads us to.

not a believer.

jesus was fully human. the most powerful example and mentor of who we could be because of a great dance with the divine. eden's humanity, i guess. how in the world could that ever be a terrible thing?

it's not.

the plight of mankind is not our affliction with "humanness"'s our decision to live a life that is less than human. and...true to the value of being human, the heart of god is most truly about restoration to eden's plan. men and women walking with god in the garden of delight...becoming the humans they were designed to be. kind of humanism is not one that embraces the notion of my inner animal...nor is it one that equates my flesh with my humanity. my humanism is an "edenism". ya, that's my kind of humanism.

it's on my mind as i look forward to the christmas season. when the hero was able to sneak into the enemy camp to make my heart's restoration (my humanity's restoration) to the lover of my soul a complete possibility. woo!...god's so's amazing! :)

Sunday, November 29, 2009


another topic i'm getting excited about is an upcoming teaching on joseph, jesus' adoptive dad. he's become an uber-hero in my book. the birth of christ is so astounding...the hero sneaking into the enemy camp as a baby. goodness! that's amazing!!! so the role of joseph...just a regular poor freaking amazing to me. god's story is one of ordinary people having encounters with him that profoundly change the world. yet again...god=hottie. ;)

Speaking Again

well, i'm going to hang out with becky dezurik's crowd on friday. for those that don't know her, she is a wonderful singer/speaker in our area. she does a worship night on fridays at sacred grounds coffee shop. this friday i'm going to do the teaching. :) ya, i better get on that!! fun stuff!

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Down with Cynch Sacks!!!

oh my GOSH!!! i hate those cynch sack garbage bags. i just couldn't feel more strongly...sorry, it's true. i'm to the "despise" level.

stupid bags! STUPID!!

thanks for letting me vent. :)

Thursday, November 26, 2009

A Thanksgiving Thought

i had a wonderful thanksgiving with my family, but all the while today i couldn't help but think about my grandpa. he passed on a few years ago right before thanksgiving. well, i just can't get my heart to stop thinking about the HUGE blessing that he was in my life. you see...i absolutely knew "delight" from him. even up to his last days, he looked at me like i was a miracle. he treated all of us that way. so on this thanksgiving...i'm so very thankful for him.

i miss him so much.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Cleaning Weirdness

here's something i don't understand. i've run into it all over tarnation. it relates to cleaning up. piles and piles of dishes are sitting there. to be helpful, a person gets it in their head to do some dishes. they pull out anything they think they've specifically used and wash them up...and walk away.


Too Easily Pleased

Too Easily Pleased 11/25/2009 [today's online devo from Ransomed Heart]

We usually think of the middle years of the Christian life as a time of acquiring better habits and their accompanying virtues. But inviting Jesus into the “aching abyss” of our heart, perhaps has more to do with holding our heart hopefully in partial emptiness in a way that allows desire to be rekindled. “Discipline imposed from the outside eventually defeats when it is not matched by desire from within,” said Dawson Trotman. There comes a place on our spiritual journey where renewed religious activity is of no use whatsoever. It is the place where God holds out his hand and asks us to give up our lovers and come and live with him in a much more personal way. It is the place of relational intimacy that Satan lured Adam and Eve away from so long ago in the Garden of Eden. We are both drawn to it and fear it. Part of us would rather return to Scripture memorization, or Bible study, or service—anything that would save us from the unknowns of walking with God. We are partly convinced our life is elsewhere. We are deceived.

“We are half-hearted creatures,” says Lewis in The Weight of Glory, “fooling about with drink and sex and ambition [and religious effort] when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”

Thursday, November 19, 2009

My Sweet Daddy!

i don't know if i've told you, but i have the best dad in the world. i may thing that your dad is pretty great...but...i need to be honest with you...MINE...well, he's pretty much awesome!

my house...which i love...was designed for tall people. all my counters are needless bending. hehe. BUT!...i have very little counter space. so my dad made me counter space...TONS of counter space. i now have a high table in my kitchen that seperates into two pieces...perfect for buffet-style line-ups AND any cooking that i need to do.


Great News!!!

little eddie was found tonight!!! i've been worrying myself silly lately...all the what-if's. it's been cold the past few nights...there are coyotes in our area...terrible!


he's been very well cared for!!

my niece and i were chatting tonight, and i said to her, "you know what? i bet a little old lady has found him and is taking really good care of him." (part of me was sooo hoping that was true compared to the actual possibilities running through my head.)

no sooner had we talked about that then my mom called...and guess what?? yep! a little old lady has had him. she found him walking on the highway...pulled over and started talking 'baby talk' to him. he loved that and just jumped in her car. she's been feeding him eggs and sausage and letting him sleep in a quilt on her comfy chair. he never even spent one night outside!!

man, i'm so glad he's ok!!!

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

"Girl" Drama

if there's one thing i dislike the most about working with kids, it's stupid "girl" drama. seriously...someone buy me a gun!...for me

rather than directly work out their conflicts, they skirt around manipulating wherever freakin' possible. they even successfully work their parents up into a tizzy. they even try to get teachers/principals into the mix...moving the chess pieces rather than just addressing things.


and if at first you don't succeed...THEN and ONLY then...give me a jingle.

Praying for Eddie

well...the little ed-man ran away. :( hoping he comes home soon!

All Along

another junior high devotional. :) i really like this song.

Monday, November 9, 2009

When I Knew..

i had a sweet experience last night. i was just dozing off (which honestly, in addition to just waking up, are some of my most cherished times with god...less resistance) when i realized that my heart was talking.

i was saying, "i love you. i just really love you."

and it was very pure.

it wasn't a love based on having my arse bailed out like a zillion times. it wasn't a love based on fear of an angry god.

it was something i was made for.

and it was amazing.

Sunday, November 8, 2009


i don't you have people in your life that just seem like they have to be a little mean sometimes? i guess it feels like i have some of that. i don't know if it's something i'm provoking or just a bad day for people with all the assorted moods. if it's me, i'd sure like to know so i can do what i can to help, but if it's not...goodness...i don't know what to do. pray and be patient? defend self? some of all?

it's just that i don't want to have to be a baracade-girl. i've worked for many years to deconstruct the insulation for my heart. at the same time, though, i want to be sensitive to the struggles of others too...their deconstruction of junk.

maybe i'm just too sensitive and need to buck up...but at the same time maybe it's not a negative. perhaps having a softer side again isn't a bad thing...but how to weild off arrows...?


Thoughts on Women's Retreats

so, i got an email from 'rubio' this weekend. they ran a retreat for women this summer based on the book 'captivating' (which i loved). well, they have decided to do retreats for couples now...parting with the women's retreat theme. has me thinking...

if they aren't going to do it...

i want to.

so i'm praying about that, about a good team of people coming together, all the possibilities. we'll see what happens! :)

When God Comes Softly...

you know...god's really good with me. i can be conveniently blind sometimes to things that i need to have changed in my life. he graciously holds it up in front of my eyes...and really does give me the option to work with him on it or keep on keeping on. always the gentleman. :) so i've been getting a really thorough picture of something lately...something that gets in the way. oh man...i was devastated. he, on the other hand, was really soft towards me. that makes me think he knows the way through...

Friday, November 6, 2009

Mars Hill Bible Church Podcast...Sweet!

i'm a 'rob bell' fan. his 'nooma' videos are amazing!!! so, i was 'podcast-surfing' on itunes and stumbled across his church's podcast (mars hill bible church). i LOVE it! i'm going through a series on the beatitudes right now and am finding it to be magical. man, i love challenges like that. :)

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Love Addict

"j" had devotions in my junior high class today. this is the song he had us listen to. his description was fab. he said that this song is about what it's like to really be loved by god and that if our lives don't show that we feel this, there's always more for us because god wants us to know that love. pretty smart guy! ;)

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Oh, the Irony

the series we've been doing in church has been about 'community'. it's been so different than the typical churchy "strive to be like the early church" drive. how refreshing!!! where the pastors ended up being led was to the heart of god...and the life of community that is natural to the father, son and holy spirit...a life we are called up into. fantastic!

well, today, the topic was about living out the life of the holy spirit that expresses being "for" each other. letting the life of god come out is such a way that we encourage, bless...assume goodness.

here's the irony.

i get back to my latte station and notice a person that i CAN'T FREAKIN' STAND.

ohhhhh great! literally 30 seconds sooner, i was thinking that i had just heard a great sermon that i can totally get on board with. and in a matter of a glance, i was experiencing inner turmoil, wondering if there can be exceptions...

my luck sucks...

...or god actually has a plan for how we can love outloud regardless of the past or circumstances or pain or pride or etc...

so i asked myself...if i wasn't directly involved, what would i tell someone caught in this sitation? hahaha...and i would say "let's not be too quick to question the goodness of her heart." how easily we do so. no, instead i guess i need to assume value and ask god to help me bless that.

my first thought on my way home...hahaha...well, she has nice hair. hey, have to start somewhere...hehe. my next thought...she loves her kids. ok, that's better. and then i decided to pray for her...and not a slanted prayer either (i.e. "lord, help her to realize that she's a pill.) nooooo, a prayer of blessing....and i have to start with her fabulous hair and her love for her kiddos...FINE! it's a beginning...

there's not a good enough excuse to stand in bitterness. people can have disagreements without assuming core evil. ;) god says i have to get movin' in that direction too.'s not like there aren't people out there who have to do the same regarding me...hehe.

Friday, October 30, 2009

Your Heart: The Treasure of the Kingdom

What Will You Do? 10/30/2009 [online devo from Ransomed Heart]

So, let me ask again: How would you live differently, if you believed your heart was the treasure of the kingdom?

What does your heart need? In some sense it’s a personal question, unique to our make-up, and what brings us life. For some its music, for others its reading, for others they must garden. Our friend Lori loves the city; I can’t wait to get out of one. Bart reads articles on flying; Cherie loves a good novel. Bethann loves horses and Gary needs time working in the woodshop. You know what makes your heart refreshed, the things that make you come alive. I don’t get the thing with women and baths, but I know that Stasi loves them and finds a little retreat in a fifteen minute tub. “He leads me to soak in still, bubbly waters.” For me and the boys its the dirtier, the happier.

Yet there are some things all hearts need in common. We need beauty; that’s clear enough from the fact that God has filled the world with it, as he has given us sun and rain,

Wine that gladdens the heart of man, Oil to make his face shine, And bread that sustains his heart. (Psalm 104:15)

We need to drink in beauty wherever we can get it – in music, in nature, in art, in a great meal shared. These are all gifts to us from God’s generous heart. Friends, those things are not decorations to a life; they are what brings us life.

The skies of blue
The fields of green
Are all for you

The silver moon
The shining sea
All for you

For you, the wind blows
For you, the river flows

And everything you dream about
Even the love you dream of, too,
Is all for you.
(John Smith & Lisa Aschman, “All for You”)

I don’t think I could have finished this book if it weren’t for the walks I take each day in the woods. My soul is tired, bone tired. The battle has been long and hard. Last night it began to snow. It is still snowing now. It, too, is a gift to my heart.

( Waking The Dead , 214, 215 )

Wake Me Up Inside

great one from one of my students today. i can actually totally identify with every word. :) thanks "a"!

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Blessed by a Priest

:) i went to a bonfire with my two littlest nieces the other night. it was HUGE! well, we were standing there when this guy walked up. he was tending the blaze. after introductions and some chatting, i found out that he's a priest (well, retired due to an injury). anyway, after a bit, he asked if he could bless us. SWEET! when he got to me, he also added something that he thought god wanted me to know. it was awesome! a shot of hope from someone i don't even know. :)


by the way...just to give a little background on my thoughts on least today. :) while i would definitely say that i'm "protestant" in my perspective, i'm not "anti-catholic". a man that helped to focus my vision of christian education was catholic. he was so in love with jesus that he actually contributed to my desire to experience god in a relationship far more than "intellectual".

what i am, though, is "anti-religion". by "religion", i'm not referring to the major belief systems in the world. no, i mean a legalistic approach to faith that elevates lesser truths, duties, "must's and must-not's", opinions, structures, etc. to the status of "core beliefs". granted, there are definitely convictions that people have...wisdom-driven guidelines...but to make them requirements to be a believer??...not for me. it's too driven by shame, fear and pride for me.

funny thing though...turns out there's "religion" all over tarnation...even in the belief systems of the non-religious. go figure.

for me, it's jesus. it's about an every day lovin' that i know and experience...and the things that he wants me to be and do to love him and my neighbor.

i don't know if all those words make sense or not...all i know is that i'll take a blessing from that priest and anyone else that's dishing them out. :)

Tuesday, October 27, 2009


my good friend, dr. bynthia, told me about this video some time ago. she's uber-smart and loves it. :) it begs an interesting question about how serious we really are about freedom of speech in this country, especially in science. interestly, it's not so much about the need to prove arguments, but more about how willing we are to allow freedom of thought rather than persecution for disagreement...and to treat with value despite philosophical differences. darn "tolerance" keeps coming up...hehe.

"I'm So Sick"

while my junior highers drive me pretty much insane...hehe...i totally love this bunch. and every now and then, they totally shock me with some of their realizations about life. today, "w" had devotions, and he decided to have us listen to a song by 'flyleaf' and discuss it. it's called 'i'm so sick'. he went on to talk about how we are all potentially infected with a selfishness especially in our country where we can soak in 'empty bliss'.

i was stunned...all i could say was, "uhh, true". HAHAHA!

so here it is...screaming and all...:)


yep, can't wait. :)

Monday, October 26, 2009

They'rrrrrrreeeee Baaaaack!

colored, skinny jeans.

remember the 80's?? remember how we DIDN'T want them to come back??

holy crap...colored, skinny jeans.

my solemn oath...NEVER AGAIN!

am i officially "old" now?...ok, well, maybe jeans don't have to decide that for me...yet. ;)

Tolerance: Home Makeover Style

so here's the deal...i think "tolerance" in this country is often a total load of crap. either you have to totally tow the party line to be ascribed value (or lack thereof)...or totally have no opinion whatsoever for the same end. heaven forbid anyone ever get offended...thus the facade of "tolerance" that relativism demands which basically robs life of variety...well, and true value.


i love how 'extreme home makeover' does it. :) if you watch the show, have you ever noticed how pretty much anyone qualifies? i've seen entire communities pull together for all sorts of people that are predictably on totally different pages of belief and/or background...because people are valuable simply because they are.

a bunch of christians building a house for a buddhist family where the mom is dying a slow death.

a bunch of white people building a house for an african-american family that loves with no limits.

and vis versa...and vis versa...and vis versa...

no one chucks their opinions out the door OR at each other (heck, they are all probably chatting while they work)...BUT...they just take care of each other because something far deeper is MORE true...

and i love that kind of really respects the value that's present simply because of our common "condition" called humanity. man, it's cool to see a show do it too...including all those sponsors and voluteers. and no one is having to fill out forms asserting that they are or are not members of this or that, believing this or that, or not...barf. people just help because...

now THAT'S my kind of tolerance...hehe.

i wonder if all the atheists and christians and republicans and democrats would ever have the balls to love like that...kinda takes the strong, secure type...hehe.


my family had a HUGE garden this summer. it was AWESOME!! all of my nieces and nephews worked it...and i had the good fortune of eating it. hehe. well, i've been working on squash recipes for the past few weeks...ya, the squash was ready in the garden...and i LOVE it!!! i might be turning orange soon due to squash pigments...but OH WELL! it's "yummy in my tummy"!!! (that used to always get giggles from my nephew justin when he was an adorable fat baby...hehe).

"Ask God" Devo

Ask God 10/26/2009 [on-line devotions from Ransomed Heart]

Peter was one of Jesus’ closest friends, one of only three that were invited into his innermost circle. In Gethsemane, at his hour of greatest need, Jesus again took Peter aside, poured his heart out to him; he looked to Peter for strength. Three years of this, and who knows how many other stories. Peter must have known, I have a special place in Jesus’ heart. So, how do you suppose Peter felt after he denied Christ – not just once, but three times? It must have been devastating.

After the resurrection, Jesus is on the beach with Peter and the others. It’s a touching reunion. Following a night of lousy fishing, Christ yells out to the guys to let their nets down for a catch – just as he did that morning he first called them three years earlier. Again, their nets are bursting with the load. Just like the good old days. Peter leaps from the boat and swims to Christ. They have breakfast together. Reunited, laughing about the catch, relaxed, warmed by the fire and stuffed from breakfast, Jesus then turns to Peter.

When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?” “Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.” Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you truly love me?” He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.” The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed my sheep.” (John 21:15-17)

What a beautiful story. Notice first that Christ does not let Peter sweep the whole matter under the rug. If this issue doesn’t get addressed, it will haunt the old fisherman for the rest of his life. No, this must be spoken to. Most of us simply try and “put things behind us,” get past it, forget the pain as quickly as we can. Really – denial is a favorite method of coping. But not with Jesus. He wants truth in the inmost being, and to get it there he’s got to take us into our inmost being. One way he’ll do this is by bringing up an old memory. You’ll be driving down the road and suddenly remember something from your childhood. Or maybe you’ll have a dream about a long-forgotten person, or event, or place. However he brings it up, go with him there. He has something to say to you.

(Waking The Dead , 120-122 )

Sunday, October 25, 2009

The Return of the Latte Maker

well...the espresso machine made its return in church today. i bet joy and i made over 20 beverages with lightning speed. lattes, cappuccinos, steamers...holy moly. aaaaand...i can still smell the coffee beans in my hair. somehow i get infused with the stink (oops...scent...hehe). i'm not a coffee lover actually, but it's good that church goers can caffeinate with style. ;)

Believing or Belonging

ben did the sermon today at church...major, major kudos! i'm glad that he took this topic...gutsy. why?'s just that some christians find the topic to be uncomfortable.

"creating an all-inclusive community"

i've just noticed (and have been one) that some christians elevate truth (what is believed) to such a place that those beliefs actually become a "membership checklist". not meeting the guidelines eliminates people from "belonging" (being loved, intrinsically valued). imagine how that impacts the second great your neighbor as yourself.

hence why the american church probably has such a bad reputation for loving the world...well-earned, i think. often, we don't love until people have proven they qualify for the club benefits.

again with the extremes...hehe. ben pointed out...jesus didn't come to show us how easy it is for god to love (he being god), he came to show us how capable humanity is of hearing god's heart and expressing it.

we could actually express the life and love of god and "belong" each other to belief.

does that mean that truth isn't important? no. it's just that there are deeper questions that hearts are yearning for answers to...ours included...the expression of love's truth more than the outline's bullet points.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

The Beat of a Different Drum

sometimes i feel like i follow the beat of a different drum. it can feel a little lonely sometimes, especially when i don't feel understood. however, at the same time, there can be such joy. i ran across this clip, and the first 3 minutes seemed familiar...hehe.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Life Songs

i heard a song the other day that was a blast from the past. it actually got me thinking about my life "soundtrack". :) when i think back over my years of up's and down's, i like to imagine what the music sounded like in those moments. my life...the musical. so, here are some that come to mind.

somewhere over the rainbow - iz

i'll be ok - amanda marshall

trouble - pink

return to the heart - david lanz

let's get it started - black eyed peas

rainbow connection - kermit

turn your eyes - michael w. smith

forever - chris brown

the edge - eiffel 65

i'm sure i'll think of others. i'm ocd about such things...hehe.

Internet Pornography

one of the in-services that i attended at the educational conference was about internet pornography. aside from the startling statistics regarding this industry and its aim to pull younger and younger kids into this addiction, i was utterly blown away by a statement that the speaker made. he said that internet pornography is now being viewed as a form of sexual abuse. the reason for this is that the damage done to a person (mental, emotional, spiritual, etc.) is no different than the consequences of contact sexual abuse.

shocking...and then not, all at the same time. :(

i'm not an "isolator" of kids...i've found fearful reactions to actually not prepare kids at all. it makes me consider, though, how we can be better preparing our kids for this sex-saturated culture.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Making Kids Do The Tough Stuff

i don't think that people always understand one of the foundational principles of what we do where i work. that notion is 'parent in partnership'. i have, for years, dealt with the occasional stakeholder (parents, board members, administrators, etc) who really has no clue what that means. in truth, it really means that it takes "a village" (i.e. community of faith) to most successfully invest in and raise our kids.

oh man, being intentional with working together for the sake of our kids...well, it can be FULL of drama. but at the same time...setting aside all that crap actually ushers in an amazing thing...we surround our kids and ask them to do tough things...and they do...and they grow!!!

i've been in one of those situations lately...much potential...but i've been pulling my hair out at how tricky it can be sometimes to get everyone on board for the sake of a kid. BUT...because of and/or despite all those involved, i saw major growth tonight...MAJOR! and i'm convinced once again that what we can potentially do TOGETHER is well worth it.

Almost Peed Myself

perhaps too much detail...but what can i say? i was so freaked out this morning that it almost became a reality.

i was the first one to arrive at school this morning. i have been coming in sooooo early to stay on top of things. well, i decided that i needed a little 'pick-me-up' because i was so tired, so i walked down to the storage room where we keep loads and loads of caffeine. i didn't turn the lights on in the hallways...first mistake. when i got to the room, i unlocked it and felt my way to the lights again...second mistake. well, all of a the darkness...i heard a bunch of little kids laughing in the corner!!!

hence the "almost peed myself"...

i whipped around, spoke an interesting form of 'french', and scrambled for the door (and light switch).

yep...a radio.

whoever was in there the night before had music playing, and the song that came on as i fumbled my way around had an introduction of little kids playing.

but because "teaching" changes a person's mental state...hehe...i thought my worst nightmare had come true!!!! just could happen...dark room, kids giggling as they sharpen their axes...

Red - 'Shadows'

my junior highers like to bring me songs that they enjoy. sometimes they use them in their devotions to open class. one of my boys likes a christian group called 'red'. to me it's like screaming with some melody included...hehe. BUT...i actually like some of them!! so, here's one that "j" brought me today. i really like the chorus. :)

(lyrics case you don't know what they are saying...hehe)

[Verse 1]
The sun has set. I close my eyes.
I pretend everything’s alright.
Drowning in anger from all these lies,
I can’t pretend everything’s alright.
Please don’t let me fall forever.
Can you tell me it’s over now?

There’s a hate inside of me like some kind of master.
I try to save you, but I can’t find the answer.
I’m holding on to you. I’ll never let go.
I need you with me as I enter the shadows.

[Verse 2]
Caught in the darkness, I go blind.
Can you help me find my way out?
Nobody hears me. I suffer the silence.
Can you tell me it’s over now?

There’s a hate inside of me like some kind of master.
I try to save you, but I can’t find the answer.
I’m holding on to you. I’ll never let go.
I need you with me as I enter the shadows.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

The Conference...I Lived!! :)

well...i survived the in-service at the conference! it actually went pretty well. 20/20 hindsight will help me refine some things, so that's good.

something about this whole deal was some sort of initiation, i'm guessing. i don't mean that in the professional sense (although it'd be nice to see some change come there). no, i just mean it felt like god was doing something inside me in the willingness and then wrestling to see it through to the end. i had a massive anxiety wall, but i kept going...yay!

OH!...i had the most wonderful drive down with god. i put my ipod on shuffle and literally experience a solid hour of god-picked songs that are special to me (in my relationship with him). it was hilarious!!! even more amazing???...when i was driving home and wanted to flip backwards to listen to it again, the entire hour of music was gone. only the shuffle from the night before was there!!! sweet! so, even though it was a challenge, i know he was doing the whole deal right with me. amazing!

And WHY Does That Piss You Off So Much??

ya, this is me venting.

i'm so, so, so tired of people who just live their lives being constantly offended by certain issues. people throw out statistics about problems...true stats even...and somehow because of fear or the fact that they think saying it out loud might actually make it happen (like curse someone), others cast judgment on the messenger.

seriously...what the heck? how about taking information and getting in the trenches to make those stats NOT TRUE???

OH...and all this assuming crap!! someone says something the wrong way or leaves something out that they hold dear...why clarify???, demonize the messenger. surely, they meant to spit on your value.


i just think that people could do themselves A TON OF GOOD by looking at why they have to be so pissed off by things. i wish they would because they certainly don't contribute anything meaningful to change or progress. they just sit in the corner all ticked off...DOING NOTHING!

---- a bit of background...and yes, i'm paying attention to why i'm so ticked too...a packet on a new program for investing in our kids' lives was presented at the church annual meeting today. there was a section on the wonders of being female that didn't have all the information in it that it should have. you could tell because the male section was longer. oh my GOSH!!!...the immediate offense that somehow girls weren't as valuable etc. and all kinds of assumptions and was sickening. and, of course, even after the clarification...nope, still all the drama. i'm on the committee for putting this program together...AND I'M A FLAMING FEMINIST!!...hello? women are worthless??...stupid, stupid, stupid. just makes me want to tell people to work out their stuff. put up or shut up!! there are things like ROUGH DRAFTS (that actually say 'ROUGH DRAFT' on the title), there are things that get forgotten (hence why we have meetings for FEEDBACK), and there are areas where we have to totally start from scratch because culture/etc. hasn't provided information and/or resources. but some people just have to jump on their wound bandwagons...assume, assume, judge, judge. totally not helpful.

my major sadness in it...since when do our hurts in other areas or with other people give us permission to judge the goodness of the hearts of others? my experiences with chauvinism don't give me one ounce of permission to assume it of all. not anymore, at least...and thank god for that!!!

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Have a Little Faith in Me

i heard this song in a movie yesterday. right away i thought that it'd be a cool song to have in a wedding (like to a slideshow or something)...and then my thoughts went a-trailin' to how this song would be so cool for something like that because it's god's song to he's my "main squeeze"...and is walking with me towards my second "main squeeze" (mr. right). :)

anyway, man, if you aren't sure what god is whispering to your heart these days...these lyrics seem pretty much from his to yours. (mine for sure). :) because here's the "straight-shootin'" deal. 'have a little faith' isn't referring to just believing he's our's that intimate trust that he's desiring to release us into. a life where we know that he's our father, he's the lover of our a living, real and deep life together.

anyhoo...i'm rambling again. :)

I'm Yours

one of my friends played this in bible study this morning. it fit so well with the book we've been reading (the journey of desire). stepping out of "christian behavior" into real divine life (that actually releases us into a life of desire...wooo!!!)!! it's very hard, but it's so much about living a life where we know in a real and intimate way that we are god's. yowza. good stuff.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Amur Maple Heaven

i'm surrounded by amur maples!!! i just love these. reds, oranges, yellows...EVERYWHERE!! puuuuuuuuure heaven!! years ago, someone planted a ton of these shrub-like maples along the road i live on, by my church, along the nature's just beautiful!

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Dancing in the Moonlight

ya, i'm going to find some moonlight. there's some dancing that needs to be done...and it turns out that the moon doesn't require rhythm. ;)

dancing in the moonlight

God's Agenda

i need to talk to god about how he delivers outlines. i've been preparing for an in-service at our educational convention this weekend...ya, terrified...but i've been having such a hard time knowing where to start. so, i took advantage of an eye appt today and took the rest of the day off to concentrate on my outline. first, though, i had to get my list of errands done so my mind could settle. well, all of a sudden...AS I WAS DRIVING...i felt god just start to assemble a good jumping-off point. immediately, i was like "GOD, HOLD ON!!!...I'M DRIVING!!". how in tarnation does he expect me to drive and write???...or not write and somehow remember??? man, here i thought he was all "safety first"...turns out...NOPE! ;)

got some great points, though. sweet!

Holy Smokes!

oh my gosh! i almost peed my pants! HAHAHA! life feels like this sometimes!!! a little too often for me. :D

Too Comfortable???

oh dear...hitting up the "comforts" again. :) case in point??...the culturally-infiltrated church.

What?...He's Alive?

couldn't agree more!! i wish more in the church could step into THIS understanding.

and this one too!!!! oh my true!

Monday, October 12, 2009

Thursday, October 8, 2009

The Big C

so...i'm getting nervous. i'm doing my first seminar at an educational convention next weekend. my session is really early in the morning, so i'm hoping it won't be hugely attended...hehe. that way i can be "initiated" into "session-speaking" and then move on to larger audiences after that. :D oh man...i hope it works out that way!!! 'cause my anxiety is THROUGH THE ROOF right now!!! AHHH!

Saturday, October 3, 2009


my cousin john sent this to me...i've been trying some of them, and they WORK!!!!


Peel a banana from the bottom and you won't have to pick the little 'stringythings' off of it. That's how the primates do it.

Take your bananas apart when you get home from the store. If you leave them connected at the stem, they ripen faster.

Peppers with 3 bumps on the bottom are sweeter andbetter for eating. Peppers with 4 bumps on the bottom are firmer and better for cooking.

Add a teaspoon of water when frying ground beef. It will help pull the grease away from the meat while cooking.

Add garlic immediately to a recipe if you want a light taste of garlic and at the end of the recipe if your want a stronger taste of garlic.

Heat up leftover pizza in a nonstick skillet on top of the stove, set heat to med-low and heat till warm. This keeps the crust crispy. No soggy micro pizza. I saw this on the cooking channel and it really works.

Easy Deviled Eggs Put cooked egg yolks in a zip lock bag. Seal, mash till they are all broken up.. Add remainder of ingredients,reseal, keep mashing it up mixing thoroughly, cut the tip of the baggy, squeeze mixture into egg. Just throw bag away when done easy clean up.

When you buy a container of cake frosting from the store, whip it with your mixerfor a few minutes. You can double it in size. You get to frost more cake/cupcakes with the same amount. You also eat less sugar and calories per serving..

To warm biscuits, pancakes, or muffins that were refrigerated, place them in a microwave with a cup of water. The increased moisture will keep the food moist and help it reheat faster.

Start putting in your plants, work the nutrients in your soil. Wet newspapers, put layers around the plants overlapping as you go cover with mulch and forget about weeds. Weeds will get through some gardening plastic they will not get through wet newspapers.

No More Mosquitoes Place a dryer sheet in your pocket. It will keep the mosquitoes away.

Squirrel Away! To keep squirrels from eating your plants, sprinkle your plants with cayenne pepper. The cayenne pepper doesn't hurt the plant and the squirrels won't come near it.

To get something out of a heat register or under the fridge add an empty paper towel roll or empty gift wrap roll to your vacuum. It can be bent or flattened to get in narrowopenings.

Pin a small safety pin to the seam of your slip and you will not have a clingy skirt or dress. Same thing works with slacks that cling when wearing panty hose. Place pin in seam of slacks and ... ta da! ... static is gone.

Before you pour sticky substances into a measuring cup, fill with hot water. Dump out the hot water, but don't dry cup. Next, add your ingredient, such as peanut butter, and watch how easily it comes right out.

Hate foggy windshields? Buy a chalkboard eraser and keep it in the glove box of your car. When the windows fog, rub with the eraser Works better than a cloth!

If you seal an envelope and then realize you forgot to include something inside, just place your sealed envelope in the freezer for an hour or two. Viola! It unseals easily.

Use your hair conditionerto shave your legs. It's cheaper than shaving cream and leaves your legs really smooth. It's also a great way to use up the conditioner you bought but didn't like when you tried it in your hair.

To get rid of pesky fruit flies, take a small glass, fill it 1/2' with Apple Cider Vinegar and 2 drops of dish washing liquid; mix well. You will find those flies drawn to the cup and gone forever!

Put small piles of cornmeal where you see ants. They eat it, take it 'home,' can't digest it so it kills them. It may take a week or so, especially if it rains, but it works and you don't have the worry about pets or small children being harmed!

The heating unit went out on my dryer! The gentleman that fixes things around the house for us told us that he wanted to show us something, and he went over to the dryer and pulled out the lint filter. It was clean. (I always clean the lint from the filter after every load clothes.) He took the filter over to the sink and ran hot water over it. The lint filter is made of a mesh material ... I'm sure you know what your dryer's lint filter looks like. Well ... the hot water just sat on top of the mesh! It didn't go through it at all! He told us that dryer sheets cause a film over that mesh, and that's what burns out the heating unit. You can't SEE the film, but it's there. It's what is in the dryer sheets to make your clothes soft and static free .. that nice fragrance too. You know how they can feel waxy when you take them out of the box? ... well this stuff builds up on your clothes and on your lint screen. This is also what causes dryer units to potentially burn your house down! He said the best way to keep your dryer working for a very long time (and to keep your electric bill lower) is to take that filter out and wash it with hot soapy water and an old toothbrush (or other brush) at least every six months. He said that makes the life of the dryer at least twice as long! How about that!?! Learn something new everyday! I certainly didn't know dryer sheets would do that.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Kids with no "Home" Boundaries

one of my major frustrations when taking kids on in the classroom is the lack of boundaries/discipline that some parents allow in the home. how to tell?? their kids view even simple direction as an assault on their personhood. it really sucks because it makes simple things like "do your homework" or "stop talking while others are" into this "you hate me"/"you're mean" drama-o-rama.

so to that i resoundingly say..."thanks, parents! you sure make my day a lot tougher...and your kids' over all journey to adulthood a lot longer and more traumatic."

boundaries/discipline=GOOD! healthy sense of self and security, consciousness of others...good stuff.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009


sometimes i feel like my job puts me in an observation tank. what i say, what i do, what i share...there's always a potentially opinionated and/or volatile audience. puts a ton of pressure on me to NOT be real...or at least to be a safer gal.

what it also means, at least from a professional perspective, is that i can't just be forthright when i'm frustrated. at least not publicly...tends to light all the wrong fires, you know?

so all in all...the first reason and the last...make me feel...trapped.'s my plan. 1) appointment with god. 2) convo with daddie/momma/joy/jody. 3) dancing...and ice cream. :)

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Livin' Loved...

i think this is what "living loved by god" looks like...look at the girl in the front...and what happens after that.

step into your dance...even if no one else is.

the dance moves

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Growing Family!

my family grew AGAIN!!! :)

one of my sisters and her hubby, who already have 3 boys, are now adding to the family! a boy and a girl! you know...i've always thought that it would be awesome for rommel to have a daughter. he's such an awesome guy!

so...the new adventure begins! yay god!

Friday, September 18, 2009

A little science

just a little "school" for you...hehe. i found this when i was looking for clips for the scientific method for my classes. i love it because it puts a little "balance" back into all the rage about science. science is treated like such a bigger "god" than it really can it's own rules really. people, however, take theories and run with them. it's amazing. so i loved this because i don't want my kids to blindly accept what they hear...i want them to be critical thinkers.

Podcast: The God Journey

i love, love, love a podcast. hehe. it's called 'the god journey'. i love it because i can so identify with some of the changes that the two guys describe. i don't always agree with everything, but i so admire how they express their hearts.

well, i've been catching up a bit because i become so busy with the start of the school year. this one has totally blessed my socks off. i love it because i get so perplexed by how polarized people get on "issues"...and totally justify belittling, hating, etc. their discussion offers some wonderful insight on conflict...especially in community.

here's the description.

Certainly Not!09-04-2009
How can we communicate with others our heart-felt passions, even political positions, without destroying our relationship with them? Recent comments about the health care debate in the States brought a host of responses from listeners, many of which wanted to divide up sides and diminish those that disagreed with them. The pretense of certainty and our desire to convince others how right we are actually destroys both relationship and dialog. Wayne and Brad talk about the community people most often seek, they actually subvert by these tactics. It is often true that those who scream the loudest are the least certain of their grasp on truth or freedom.

there are links to the podcasts on the bottom of the website. otherwise, it's also available for a free subscription on itunes. :)

Wednesday, September 16, 2009


i like to watch documentaries. love them! true stories about people, places, events...oh my's like candy. i like them because they potentially offer a bigger picture of the who's, what's, where's, when's and how's. granted, not perfect...but potentially great!

well, i've been watching some bio's on great thinkers...the "heroes" of some.

it is soooo interesting to me that while a person may be famous for a breakthrough theory, equation, philosophy, etc, their true story actually reveals that they were guilty of being...well...a bad human.

yet...their moment of excellence is what suddenly makes everything they say, everything they are "for" or "against" into miraculous gold nuggets.

it's just interesting that the rest of life is actually the undoing of the "hero"...if we look.

some wouldn't care...i'm actually relieved because it makes uber-people into simple, normal ones.

some would totally care...wouldn't want to even hear it. rocks the pedestal a bit too much...and all the "backing" for our thoughts on things along with it.

Trash Can Lovin'????

oh my gosh...i just read an article on msn about a couple that was recently robbed while they were trying to have some "alone time" (i.e. sex) in a dumpster.




all this focus on the robbery aspect...but...i just feel like asking some other OBVIOUS questions.

getting it on in A DUMPSTER???? ok, had your wallet taken, etc...but you were HAVING SEX IN A DUMPSTER!!

there's so, so, sooooooo much wrong with that.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

I Just Don't Get It...

sometimes i wish love was thicker in the time and space that we fill. maybe i should say...i wish WE would allow the love to be thicker...

it does, after all, come down to our authorization of it's release...or lack there of...

and i guess i'd rather be a vessel than a roadblock...

i have opinions on a lot of things. some strong...some not. i also don't have an opinion on a lot of things. could care less frankly.

the shocker???...not everyone agrees with me! hahaha!

the other shocker???...i actually know that! and i'm not too rocked by it. i'm cool having my opinions...and my entire identity is not rocked by disagreement.

the other OTHER shocker??? i go and grow, i may actually change my thoughts on things and decide that i was wrong or not as deep as i could have been.

no WAY!...yes WAY!

not perfectly, of course, but better and better...i've actually been finding myself considering what nugget of goodness i can pull from all the varying opinions that fly by me. not that i have to agree...but that i can truthfully listen. doing so actually helps me to get a bigger picture...get outside myself...and even get a teensy snapshot of the real person rather than the glitz and glamour of all the philosophies, labels, groups, etc that we hide behind.

so lately...when people have to play their "i'm offended" card...i just don't get it. seems like a small way to live...sad.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Solid Rock

my cousin and i heard this on pandora before church started on sunday. we both thought we should sing it during the service. hehe. so i went searching for it on youtube and found this nice video with great verses in it. encouraging. :)

Saturday, September 12, 2009

The Note

and this would be part 3 of my captivating retreat update. :)

what ended up surfacing on this retreat weekend was a major cry of my heart...something that i know fuels much of my movement or lack thereof. see, i don't want to have my faith life be one of "mountain top" to "mountain top". i don't want to have these amazing experiences with god only to have to carry the memory of them through the valleys of this life. no, no, no...i want to walk with god. i want to have a moment-by-moment intimacy with him.

i need that to be true.

because i can't go through this life even one more day if it's not.

so.....on the last night of the retreat, we all went to this special dinner. chocolate fountains...yes, fountains plural!!!! :) and on one table there laid about 50 cards. each one was specially made and unique. no two were alike outside and in. we were asked to take a note that stood out to us and peak inside.

so i did. a simple purple note with some ribbon and sparkles inside.

and the moment i opened it...i slammed it shut. i saw a few of the words written inside and knew that if i read it right there, i'd be a mess.

so i waited until later.

and when i opened, i was undone.

remember the first night when i had that song playing in my head? the one where i went outside to sway in the night? well, my note was a page from a book. messages from god to his princess. it talked about intimacy and his heart to get so lost in each other...and it ended with "come away with me..."!

it was him the whole weekend...wooing me, calming me, giving me direction, and then giving me promise.

it was amazing!

Friday, September 11, 2009

SHUT UP! GROW UP! and a lot of "YA-DA, YA-DA".

i think america is whacked in the head. the hypocrisy knows no bounds, and of course, no one is willing to admit it.

my personal belief on our country's problems is that few are actually right about the answer. we took the road towards "independence" and ended up at the at the expense of caring for our fellow man. people suffered because of it. and now we've over-corrected in pursuit of dependence on "pharoah" for all that's good for "me". flinging ourselves to the other end of the spectrum...still using the same "entitlement" fuel. sheesh!

now we listen to whomever tells us what we want to hear. de tocqueville's thoughts on "the public being bribed with the public's money" seem so accurate of late.

as for voting, i guess i've tended towards the least that seems to be the trend. yet in that admission, i struggle to be identified with too much of the "conservative club" mentality...but must also admit that i find the "liberal club" to be just as distasteful.

no one knows their history anymore...and the irony is always soooo thick because of it.

i've loved the "stop picking on my prez" reaction by the libs. how ironic that there was no issue for them to do the same even a year ago. if we had a cent for each of the justifications, we'd be debt-free in no time. ;)


and the conservs going all "he's the antichrist" regarding the new big guy. libs thought g.w. was the big bad too remember...

for me, it's not ever one man that's the problem. it's the people that put him there. and those people are on all sides in my opinion.

sooooo...what to do? man, i don't know...nothing is going to poof away our problems. going through is the only way...but i guess how long we'll keep plodding with our eyes closed is yet to be determined. makes me think of the classic question in the 'matrix'...the red pill or the blue pill? embracing humility might be a good place to start. even if we are headed in an equally crazy direction, even if we have to constantly shut off the news stories of fear-ridden conservs given by cult-euphoria-hazed journalists, even if we end up where our worst fears think we are headed (on either side)...we can choose to live by the deeper out christ's heart in every moment.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Keeper of a Memory

i'm starting my ninth year in my job. each year has brought its own ups and downs, but nothing will ever compare to my first year.

NOTHING!! it...was...awful.

granted, there have been other years with major challenges, but year #1 was just horrible. not only was it a new job. it was the year that brought the deaths of both of my dear grandpas, my mom's cancer, the death of a board member, and the challenge of working with staff members that didn't want me there remotely. to say that it was a struggle is...HAHAHA...a major understatement.

each one of those in and of itself did a number on my heart, but, today, i'm remembering bob. he was the board member that passed away. an awful hunting accident...a total shock. he left behind a wife and two sweet little boys (kindergarten and 1st grade). even now, thinking about the loss they experienced makes my heart ache.

i literally knew bob for six months before his passing, but in that time i was so, so, so blessed with some profound and wonderful conversations with him as he expressed his heart for his sons, for christian education and for the future. i even had the good fortune of hearing about how much he admired his wife. :) in the months before his death his whole focus changed...bob was almost obsessed with the notion that life was really about christ...about knowing him. he began meeting with his priest weekly to talk about things he was reading in his bible...he was desperately hungry.

sometimes i wonder if he was experiencing his spirit being called home...

well, i had an interesting experience today. his oldest boy who is now a high schooler (!) came in to my office to work on homework after school. he was chatting with friends and finishing his math...having fun. after a bit, though, it became quiet...and then it happened. the son turned and asked me to tell him about my conversations with his dad.

OH MY GOSH!!!...what a HUGE privilege!

so, i did!!! man, did i ever!!!!

i told him about how much he wanted life with jesus, how much he loved his sons, how funny and quirky he was...and i got to hear even more stories from him about things his mom shared about bob too. (he actually read his bible all the way through FOUR TIMES in the months before his death!)

you know what??...i realized that even though we have to experience some tough things in this life...horrible hurts that leave so many questions...god has given us a gift in each other if we choose to not go through life alone. come what may, we can have the precious privilege of witnessing each other's lives...and becoming the keepers of the memories for those times when remembering is so necessary.

so...i'm thankful for the life of bob enos. i too needed a reminder of his passion...his godly hunger...and i was able to receive it from his son. what a privilege!

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Hairs a-standin'

do you ever get that? where something riles you up enough that you notice the hairs on the back of your neck are starting to stand up? uh-oh...i'm noticing some of that. for me, though, that usually also means i'm getting ready to blow...very shortly. ;)

one of my best friends has been experiencing a ton of drama. it's been very overwhelming, and i feel so bad about it. i keep praying that it can just be over soon...but at the same time, i want to swoop in and crack some skulls.

(yes, i know violence is not an option...that's why i blog, baby!...vent the rage, vent the rage!) :)

of course, EVERYONE has their opinions. and of course, all those opinions have been free to circulate everywhere OTHER than within the confines of a respectable disagreement between TWO parties. those words, obviously, make their way and do their damage. it's inappropriate, insulting...and quite the sham of any real insight or advice.

opinions???? i've got some opinions...ohhhhhhh, yes, i do... mine are safely shoved in my pocket, but i'm not opposed to whippin' them out if necessary. i've frankly had it.

what's that quote about a woman scorned?...hmm.

I Unleash...

so this would be a "part 2" to my earlier blog about the retreat that i went to a few weeks ago. if you've read my earlier blogs, you know about my wrestling with god...believing he's leading me into more freedom to just use me. (assuming "use" in a negative sense) of course, a part of me knows that isn't true, but it's been a real battle to apply truth to areas that have been struggling with questions.

so i went to this retreat in this state of confusion...

well, during another quiet time i was able to experience more of god's reality in fear-ridden areas.

i guess it starts there...getting it out on the table. i've definitely been wrestling with some desires that i have...dreams and such. if i step out of trusting god, i get fearful. in fact, my fear actually stops me dead in my tracks from even moving ahead in pursuit of those dreams. instead, i sink into agreement with the enemy...and...just...stop.

so i got some stuff out on the table.

and then i listened.

rap, actually, was the music of choice. go figure!

and i allowed my imagination to help me "visually" pray.

here's what i saw...

a lady...of the renaissance sort...stepping out of a carriage, being led by a lord through doors, being presented, etc. beautiful dress. :) occasionally, she would express her strength. sometimes she would battle. but what she loved...what was her "base"...was that she and her lord had their place of "closed doors". it was a relationship that didn't just involve doing...there was a "being"...and a "being together". i think it allowed her to do the rest of her life.

well, suddenly i realized that the "lady" was me. :) then i was being led through another set of doors...and the lord turned. he said, "i don't use. i unleash."

and with a depth that only god's truth create in the places that desperately need to hear it...i believed.

Isn't It Ironic...Grrr!, here's the was one of my niece's first day of kindergarten today.

i've been through this before...we've had a ton of parents come to drop off that special little person on that significant day. of course, there are tears...but it's always ok.

part of me has thought to myself, "come on! it's kindergarten! what are they going to do on the graduation day???".

word to the wise...DON'T EVER think crap like that!!!

little miss walked into school this morning with her mommie...and this auntie started to bawl.

what the heck???

yep, i actually had to go to my office to "calm" myself.

funny sis saw my eyeball leaking and immediately shouted "don't you cry!!!". if i did...she would. in talking to her later on, she actually thought my bawling helped her!!...haha!...because she got to be all "stop it and get away from me" to distract herself.

ohhhh ya...i'm so happy to help...AHHH!

if i actually have my own kids someday...i'm screwed!

Saturday, September 5, 2009


i was talking with a friend the other night about songs that carry some added greatness or meaning...songs that pull on something more soulish, i guess. this, of course, varies for each person. so, i've been thinking of songs that have done something to me over the course of my life...and remembered this one! the first time i heard it was at college. an art appreciation class. we sat back and "took it in"...and i literally felt as if the notes found the unlocking code to my spirit. ohhhh rib cage didn't burst open right there, but it surely felt like it.

and of course, there's the 'rave' version too! :)

Community via Whitney :)

i've been so enjoying this song. the lyrics are pretty good too. it's just a reminder to me of what happens naturally when we step into intimacy with god. we get to dwell in the greatest love throwing match of all time. ;)

"my love is your love"

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

High Maintenance

oh man...i wish some people could see how "high maintenance" they really are. you know what adds to that quality?? ANXIETY! then the spiralling begins...weeeeeee! only prob...not fun for the rest of us REMOTELY!!!

it's 'teacher workshop' this week. getting ready for the first day of school. holy shmoly though!! some of the teachers in the other department are super high maintenance...making every stinkin' thing a complete crisis! i'm almost to the point of smackdown...but i'll wait until my boss gives me the green light. ;)

the nice thing??? secondary teachers are "roll with it" people for the most part. pheww!!!

Great Song for Quiet Time :)

great song for times of stillness with god...:)

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Come Away With Me

now, i'm at the point of talking about what happened at the 'captivating' retreat that i went to last weekend. this would be 'part 1'. :)

i don't have a 'book smart' relationship with god....i'm pretty sure everyone knows that. ;) it's a romance for me...and i love it (even the fighting...hehe). but, if you've read any of my blogs below, you know that i've been majorly fighting with going to the retreat had it's own challenges. haha! myself being the biggest one! :) well, they gave us a TON of 'quiet time' at this retreat...which actually really bugged me at first because i didn't have anything nice to say god.

he apparently had nice things to say to me...he's so unpredictable! keeps me hopping...

well, the first night i went back to my bunk to be all 'quiet'. i flipped through my bible, found some nice verses, thought about them for a while. you know...good 'christianese' behavior. well, then these few words of a song started rolling through my brain. "come away with me in the night". my brain let out a huge "oh crap!"...god was actually showing up to meet with this obstinate gal. ;) i tried as hard as i could to ignore it...i'll talk more about why another time...and finally gave up. a resounding "fine!" shot through my head, and i bolted out the door. i decided to meet him literally...i went ouside into the night. "here i the night!" (ya, i'm thinking god either loves my honesty with him...or he wants to pop me like a zit.) the words came again..."come away with me"...over and over and over again.

so, there i stood in the middle of the woods, listening to the wind flow through the leaves, and i just started to sway. swaying back and forth. haha...reminds me of the 'pocahontas' scene with her hair all "blowy" in the wind.

and that was it. we just swayed.

so i spent my first 'quiet time' slow dancing with god to the rhythm in the wind.

i never could remember who actually sang that song...or what the rest of the words were. that is until today. here it is...the lyrics are wonderful. the video is odd...but oh well...just close your eyes.

Come Away With Me