Wednesday, December 30, 2009
check it out if you want...
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Monday, December 28, 2009
here's the other cool part. this is in no way a religious endeavor for me. i actually want to give it a shot because more and more the scripture is becoming like chocolate for me...as opposed to brussel sprouts. ;)
Sunday, December 27, 2009
i was riding with my parents to our family christmas gathering today, and dad put this cd in the car's player. i was a freaking crazy girl!!! LOVED IT!
one favorite is his arrangement of 'joy to the world'...i LOVE the part called 'unspeakable joy' that he's added. i also LOVE the song 'born that we may have life'. at the end (around 3:30) he adds a choir...ohhhhh nelly, am i a fan of a good african-american choir!! woooooo-heeee! so, here's some more listening pleasure!
perhaps dancing is in order??? ;)
Saturday, December 26, 2009
...sometimes my life has this weird "quirk" stamped all over it...
there were 4 wild turkeys walking through my lawn. strutting their stuff like they owned the world.
while yes, admiring the beauty...umm...my mouth started to want to...eat them.
i guess i'm more carnivore than herbivore...and i don't even know if they taste good.
so next year...i'm hoping santa brings me a gun...maybe a pink one. i'd like try to shoot my own food in my own lawn...and then hire out for the prepping and preparing. hehe!
Friday, December 25, 2009
intervention - coley
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Isaiah 30:29 "And you will sing as on the night you celebrate the holy festival; your hearts will rejoice as when people go up with flutes to the mountain of the Lord, the Rock of Israel."
well, i've been looking for the seasons for YEARS!! i couldn't find any. even 'amazon' only sold the version playable in other countries (some different type or whatever). well...i didn't kn0w it was recently released until the other night with my sissy. we both about fell over in the 'target' aisle. i couldn't afford the whole shabang, so i had to settle for the first season...
last night, two of my good friends surprised me with the WHOLE THING!! i almost cried my eyes out!! AND...i actually slept with the box last night.
yes...i can bond with characters and/or cardboard. hehe!
well...here's to beauty everywhere!!! :D
Monday, December 21, 2009
but i've hit a snag...
what do i do when i stumble across a group that teaches about jesus but has some other serious issues that i strongly disagree with?? what about when they snag people into their nets that i love??
i have a hard time letting it be "ok".
in fact...i actually want to flippin' tell some people off. (hence the "seeing red" from earlier...)
i've been reading paul's thoughts in 1 corinthians because it seems there was some drama with a guy named apollos who was also a minister...well, and drama with the people who made heroes of men with subsequent pissing matches. his thoughts actually are frustrating to me. he asks that we let things be about christ and the preaching of him...even if there are other things we disagree with. and THEN he goes further to encourage trust in god to reveal things in the right time. his freakin' high road...
all that alongside what god's been daring me to do regarding loving the tough people in my life.
i'm so mad right now...i could spit nails.
so i'm weighing things. saying something??...possible. praying about it???....definite. :)
Sunday, December 20, 2009
(i love the piano addition in the second one...hmm, maybe that one...)
Saturday, December 19, 2009
BUT...by god's grace i usually have one moment of "sense" when i get ticked. for some reason i call mom or dad or a friend...and usually choose the right ones to call in the moment...the ones that will help me return to peace and balance and trust and...you know...the more rested place of the heart.
still ticked...but not seeing so much red. HAHA!
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
ya, here's where the blog parts from any discussion of the actual facts of the article...and moves to the ridiculous hypocrites who have to make issue of any blasted thing!
whether it's from those who hate the notion of "god" and/or hate people who like the idea of a god...or whether it's people that supposedly claim to be "loving" christians...wow, what freakin' bottom-feeders!!!
how some can claim an intellectual "prowess" because of their atheistic enlightenment or how others can claim a "prowess" of a different sort...of the spiritual type...yet BOTH can be undeniably, disrespectfully SMALL and PREJUDICED.
not a very good "poster child" for the team...EITHER TEAM.
wow. incredibly bizarre...ohhhhh, the little.
i can't exactly post the song that spoke to my heart...i think it'll throw some a crazy curve ball. so, i'm going to post the link to my god-love theme song. it's "forever" by chris brown. seriously, watch the video with the notion of 'messianic undertones'...meaning with chris brown as a "jesus-type" character. the flashes of light are the "WE" (the trinity...the with-god life). the lady is me, you...whoever. (we just all may not have the rockin' bod...hehe).
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
well...enter state's evidence #46237.
i was experiencing the loveliness of my bathroom (i.e. on the "pot"), reached for something...and FELL OFF the toilet.
who does that?
that's right...me. :)
no need to question my lack of luck EVER again.
good grief!!! i want to absolutely scream sometimes from frustration!!!
i don't know what it is...a pride of sorts? just a smaller sphere of operation?? well, whatever it is...i wish i could offer some tips for working with the rest of the population.
i work in a school, so i bet you are wondering where my frustration comes from...but i have TONS of interactions from participating in athletics to newly enrolling in school, etc., etc., etc.,...
for those that are getting ready to freak out...YES, there are some positives...but i just wish there was a way to show them how some of their patterns, systems, etc. actually impact others...because it doesn't always seem like there is that awareness.
i think because they operate on their own schedules...and ones of their choosing...it's hard to be respectors of others' time. at least, it seems like there's little connection that other people have obligations too. thus...waiting. followed by more...waiting. all the while becoming more and more late for my previous commitments.
AHHHH! i could pull my hair out...except that i'm trying to grow it out. so...maybe i could pull their hair out. hmm...
Monday, December 7, 2009
Titanic Episode (i think there are many sections to view.)
i'm an emotionally-wired person...so crying (for happy or sad or in between) is a regular thing. sometimes, though, i notice that i'm a bit pent up. i don't know if it's because life gets so stressful sometimes with all my running around that i don't get my normal "vent" spots. it could be that intercessory thing sometimes too. maybe it's just my heart wrestling with things. whatever the reason, i've been feeling a bit of a storm lately with no way to vent it.
well, it finally started to come up a little last night when my dad came over to install my new stools. for some reason his presence usually gives me a bit of permission to feel. it's weird...but he's cool like that without even knowing he's having that effect. so somehow him just being here last night loosened something...but that was it. just loosened.
leave it to 'home makeover'...hahaha. open the floodgates, people. sweet! purge the soul!!! :)
Sunday, December 6, 2009
oh my gosh...i seriously almost hurled when i took a huge wiff of molasses the other night. i had some lovely little ladies over for some cooking-baking and was trying to make some dough before they came. i decided to try ginger bread men. granted, i enjoy the taste of the those...but the molasses in the pre-cookie fashion???...EWWW! and then i noticed that the container says "unsulfured"...what the freak does that mean?? and does "sulfured" molasses smell better??? i recall that sulfur reminds me of yellowstone national park and/or rotten eggs.
oh my gosh...i'll never be the same.
molasses has ruined me...and not in a good way. i'm having nightmares. ;)
i'm going to try to get the most out of my free month...hey, if you want to come, i can bring guests!!!
OH...i tried it today, and i HATE the 'eliptical'. in a matter of seconds, places hurt in my body that i didn't know could...AHHH! i'll keep trying though...i'm a glutton for punishment. ;)
he built me a high table...two halves actually so i can pull it apart and make a buffet line-up!! sweet!
and then today i get a call from mommy and daddy that they have my birthday gift at their house...4 stools for my high table!!!!
i'm in heaven!!! :) THANKS, mom and dad!!!
Friday, December 4, 2009
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
you would think that a bowl is just a bowl...
jeez! not for this girl, apparently!
many of the alternatives were plastic, and it about made me nauseous!!!
i'm a FREAK!!! :)
the thought of eating my cereal out of plastic makes me feel like something is wrong with the world. ohhhhhh my!
BUT...i feel i'm right! HAHA! i have absolutely no plans of changing my eating apparatii.
"e.d.?" [thought to self, "please not what i think she's asking..."]
"erectile dysfunction." [thought to self, "crap"]
"well, it's time for chemistry class, so let's explain that another time." [thought to self, "hopefully you'll forget."]
why me, god??? WHY??
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Monday, November 30, 2009
not a believer.
however...i'm also not a fan of a religious humanism either that pops up in christendom. that being "human" is somehow evil and/or weak. that our goal should be to become less human and more holy by living a life that is shackled to an acceptance of the fact that we are "sinners" saved from the hell that our humanness only leads us to.
not a believer.
jesus was fully human. the most powerful example and mentor of who we could be because of a great dance with the divine. eden's humanity, i guess. how in the world could that ever be a terrible thing?
the plight of mankind is not our affliction with "humanness"...it's our decision to live a life that is less than human. and...true to the value of being human, the heart of god is most truly about restoration to eden's plan. men and women walking with god in the garden of delight...becoming the humans they were designed to be.
so...my kind of humanism is not one that embraces the notion of my inner animal...nor is it one that equates my flesh with my humanity. my humanism is an "edenism". ya, that's my kind of humanism.
it's on my mind as i look forward to the christmas season. when the hero was able to sneak into the enemy camp to make my heart's restoration (my humanity's restoration) to the lover of my soul a complete possibility. woo!...god's so hot...it's amazing! :)
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Thursday, November 26, 2009
i miss him so much.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
We usually think of the middle years of the Christian life as a time of acquiring better habits and their accompanying virtues. But inviting Jesus into the “aching abyss” of our heart, perhaps has more to do with holding our heart hopefully in partial emptiness in a way that allows desire to be rekindled. “Discipline imposed from the outside eventually defeats when it is not matched by desire from within,” said Dawson Trotman. There comes a place on our spiritual journey where renewed religious activity is of no use whatsoever. It is the place where God holds out his hand and asks us to give up our lovers and come and live with him in a much more personal way. It is the place of relational intimacy that Satan lured Adam and Eve away from so long ago in the Garden of Eden. We are both drawn to it and fear it. Part of us would rather return to Scripture memorization, or Bible study, or service—anything that would save us from the unknowns of walking with God. We are partly convinced our life is elsewhere. We are deceived.
“We are half-hearted creatures,” says Lewis in The Weight of Glory, “fooling about with drink and sex and ambition [and religious effort] when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”
Thursday, November 19, 2009
my house...which i love...was designed for tall people. all my counters are taller...no needless bending. hehe. BUT!...i have very little counter space. so my dad made me counter space...TONS of counter space. i now have a high table in my kitchen that seperates into two pieces...perfect for buffet-style line-ups AND any cooking that i need to do.
he's been very well cared for!!
my niece and i were chatting tonight, and i said to her, "you know what? i bet a little old lady has found him and is taking really good care of him." (part of me was sooo hoping that was true compared to the actual possibilities running through my head.)
no sooner had we talked about that then my mom called...and guess what?? yep! a little old lady has had him. she found him walking on the highway...pulled over and started talking 'baby talk' to him. he loved that and just jumped in her car. she's been feeding him eggs and sausage and letting him sleep in a quilt on her comfy chair. he never even spent one night outside!!
man, i'm so glad he's ok!!!
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
rather than directly work out their conflicts, they skirt around manipulating wherever freakin' possible. they even successfully work their parents up into a tizzy. they even try to get teachers/principals into the mix...moving the chess pieces rather than just addressing things.
WORK OUT YOUR OWN CONFLICTS!!!
and if at first you don't succeed...THEN and ONLY then...give me a jingle.
Monday, November 9, 2009
i was saying, "i love you. i just really love you."
and it was very pure.
it wasn't a love based on having my arse bailed out like a zillion times. it wasn't a love based on fear of an angry god.
it was like...natural...like something i was made for.
and it was amazing.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
it's just that i don't want to have to be a baracade-girl. i've worked for many years to deconstruct the insulation for my heart. at the same time, though, i want to be sensitive to the struggles of others too...their deconstruction of junk.
maybe i'm just too sensitive and need to buck up...but at the same time maybe it's not a negative. perhaps having a softer side again isn't a bad thing...but how to weild off arrows...?
so...it has me thinking...
if they aren't going to do it...
i want to.
so i'm praying about that, about a good team of people coming together, all the possibilities. we'll see what happens! :)
Friday, November 6, 2009
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Sunday, November 1, 2009
well, today, the topic was about living out the life of the holy spirit that expresses being "for" each other. letting the life of god come out is such a way that we encourage, bless...assume goodness.
here's the irony.
i get back to my latte station and notice a person that i CAN'T FREAKIN' STAND.
ohhhhh great! literally 30 seconds sooner, i was thinking that i had just heard a great sermon that i can totally get on board with. and in a matter of a glance, i was experiencing inner turmoil, wondering if there can be exceptions...
my luck sucks...
...or god actually has a plan for how we can love outloud regardless of the past or circumstances or pain or pride or etc...
so i asked myself...if i wasn't directly involved, what would i tell someone caught in this sitation? hahaha...and i would say "let's not be too quick to question the goodness of her heart." how easily we do so. no, instead i guess i need to assume value and ask god to help me bless that.
my first thought on my way home...hahaha...well, she has nice hair. hey, have to start somewhere...hehe. my next thought...she loves her kids. ok, that's better. and then i decided to pray for her...and not a slanted prayer either (i.e. "lord, help her to realize that she's a pill.) nooooo, a prayer of blessing....and i have to start with her fabulous hair and her love for her kiddos...FINE! it's a beginning...
there's not a good enough excuse to stand in bitterness. people can have disagreements without assuming core evil. ;) god says so...so i have to get movin' in that direction too.
plus...it's not like there aren't people out there who have to do the same regarding me...hehe.
Friday, October 30, 2009
So, let me ask again: How would you live differently, if you believed your heart was the treasure of the kingdom?
What does your heart need? In some sense it’s a personal question, unique to our make-up, and what brings us life. For some its music, for others its reading, for others they must garden. Our friend Lori loves the city; I can’t wait to get out of one. Bart reads articles on flying; Cherie loves a good novel. Bethann loves horses and Gary needs time working in the woodshop. You know what makes your heart refreshed, the things that make you come alive. I don’t get the thing with women and baths, but I know that Stasi loves them and finds a little retreat in a fifteen minute tub. “He leads me to soak in still, bubbly waters.” For me and the boys its the dirtier, the happier.
Yet there are some things all hearts need in common. We need beauty; that’s clear enough from the fact that God has filled the world with it, as he has given us sun and rain,
Wine that gladdens the heart of man, Oil to make his face shine, And bread that sustains his heart. (Psalm 104:15)
We need to drink in beauty wherever we can get it – in music, in nature, in art, in a great meal shared. These are all gifts to us from God’s generous heart. Friends, those things are not decorations to a life; they are what brings us life.
The skies of blue
The fields of green
Are all for you
The silver moon
The shining sea
All for you
For you, the wind blows
For you, the river flows
And everything you dream about
Even the love you dream of, too,
Is all for you.
(John Smith & Lisa Aschman, “All for You”)
I don’t think I could have finished this book if it weren’t for the walks I take each day in the woods. My soul is tired, bone tired. The battle has been long and hard. Last night it began to snow. It is still snowing now. It, too, is a gift to my heart.
( Waking The Dead , 214, 215 )
Thursday, October 29, 2009
by the way...just to give a little background on my thoughts on things...at least today. :) while i would definitely say that i'm "protestant" in my perspective, i'm not "anti-catholic". a man that helped to focus my vision of christian education was catholic. he was so in love with jesus that he actually contributed to my desire to experience god in a relationship far more than "intellectual".
what i am, though, is "anti-religion". by "religion", i'm not referring to the major belief systems in the world. no, i mean a legalistic approach to faith that elevates lesser truths, duties, "must's and must-not's", opinions, structures, etc. to the status of "core beliefs". granted, there are definitely convictions that people have...wisdom-driven guidelines...but to make them requirements to be a believer??...not for me. it's too driven by shame, fear and pride for me.
funny thing though...turns out there's "religion" all over tarnation...even in the belief systems of the non-religious. go figure.
for me, it's jesus. it's about an every day lovin' that i know and experience...and the things that he wants me to be and do to love him and my neighbor.
i don't know if all those words make sense or not...all i know is that i'll take a blessing from that priest and anyone else that's dishing them out. :)
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
i was stunned...all i could say was, "uhh, ya...so true". HAHAHA!
so here it is...screaming and all...:)
Monday, October 26, 2009
remember the 80's?? remember how we DIDN'T want them to come back??
holy crap...colored, skinny jeans.
my solemn oath...NEVER AGAIN!
am i officially "old" now?...ok, well, maybe jeans don't have to decide that for me...yet. ;)
i love how 'extreme home makeover' does it. :) if you watch the show, have you ever noticed how pretty much anyone qualifies? i've seen entire communities pull together for all sorts of people that are predictably on totally different pages of belief and/or background...because people are valuable simply because they are.
a bunch of christians building a house for a buddhist family where the mom is dying a slow death.
a bunch of white people building a house for an african-american family that loves with no limits.
and vis versa...and vis versa...and vis versa...
no one chucks their opinions out the door OR at each other (heck, they are all probably chatting while they work)...BUT...they just take care of each other because something far deeper is MORE true...
and i love that kind of love...it really respects the value that's present simply because of our common "condition" called humanity. man, it's cool to see a show do it too...including all those sponsors and voluteers. and no one is having to fill out forms asserting that they are or are not members of this or that, believing this or that, or not...barf. people just help because...
now THAT'S my kind of tolerance...hehe.
i wonder if all the atheists and christians and republicans and democrats would ever have the balls to love like that...kinda takes the strong, secure type...hehe.
Peter was one of Jesus’ closest friends, one of only three that were invited into his innermost circle. In Gethsemane, at his hour of greatest need, Jesus again took Peter aside, poured his heart out to him; he looked to Peter for strength. Three years of this, and who knows how many other stories. Peter must have known, I have a special place in Jesus’ heart. So, how do you suppose Peter felt after he denied Christ – not just once, but three times? It must have been devastating.
After the resurrection, Jesus is on the beach with Peter and the others. It’s a touching reunion. Following a night of lousy fishing, Christ yells out to the guys to let their nets down for a catch – just as he did that morning he first called them three years earlier. Again, their nets are bursting with the load. Just like the good old days. Peter leaps from the boat and swims to Christ. They have breakfast together. Reunited, laughing about the catch, relaxed, warmed by the fire and stuffed from breakfast, Jesus then turns to Peter.
When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?” “Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.” Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you truly love me?” He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.” The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed my sheep.” (John 21:15-17)
What a beautiful story. Notice first that Christ does not let Peter sweep the whole matter under the rug. If this issue doesn’t get addressed, it will haunt the old fisherman for the rest of his life. No, this must be spoken to. Most of us simply try and “put things behind us,” get past it, forget the pain as quickly as we can. Really – denial is a favorite method of coping. But not with Jesus. He wants truth in the inmost being, and to get it there he’s got to take us into our inmost being. One way he’ll do this is by bringing up an old memory. You’ll be driving down the road and suddenly remember something from your childhood. Or maybe you’ll have a dream about a long-forgotten person, or event, or place. However he brings it up, go with him there. He has something to say to you.
(Waking The Dead , 120-122 )
Sunday, October 25, 2009
"creating an all-inclusive community"
i've just noticed (and have been one) that some christians elevate truth (what is believed) to such a place that those beliefs actually become a "membership checklist". not meeting the guidelines eliminates people from "belonging" (being loved, intrinsically valued). imagine how that impacts the second great commandment...love your neighbor as yourself.
hence why the american church probably has such a bad reputation for loving the world...well-earned, i think. often, we don't love until people have proven they qualify for the club benefits.
again with the extremes...hehe.
but...as ben pointed out...jesus didn't come to show us how easy it is for god to love (he being god)...no, he came to show us how capable humanity is of hearing god's heart and expressing it.
we could actually express the life and love of god and "belong" each other to life...to belief.
does that mean that truth isn't important? no. it's just that there are deeper questions that hearts are yearning for answers to...ours included...the expression of love's truth more than the outline's bullet points.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
somewhere over the rainbow - iz
i'll be ok - amanda marshall
trouble - pink
return to the heart - david lanz
let's get it started - black eyed peas
rainbow connection - kermit
turn your eyes - michael w. smith
forever - chris brown
the edge - eiffel 65
i'm sure i'll think of others. i'm ocd about such things...hehe.
shocking...and then not, all at the same time. :(
i'm not an "isolator" of kids...i've found fearful reactions to actually not prepare kids at all. it makes me consider, though, how we can be better preparing our kids for this sex-saturated culture.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
oh man, being intentional with working together for the sake of our kids...well, it can be FULL of drama. but at the same time...setting aside all that crap actually ushers in an amazing thing...we surround our kids and ask them to do tough things...and they do...and they grow!!!
i've been in one of those situations lately...much potential...but i've been pulling my hair out at how tricky it can be sometimes to get everyone on board for the sake of a kid. BUT...because of and/or despite all those involved, i saw major growth tonight...MAJOR! and i'm convinced once again that what we can potentially do TOGETHER is well worth it.
i was the first one to arrive at school this morning. i have been coming in sooooo early to stay on top of things. well, i decided that i needed a little 'pick-me-up' because i was so tired, so i walked down to the storage room where we keep loads and loads of caffeine. i didn't turn the lights on in the hallways...first mistake. when i got to the room, i unlocked it and felt my way to the frig...no lights again...second mistake. well, all of a sudden...in the darkness...i heard a bunch of little kids laughing in the corner!!!
hence the "almost peed myself"...
i whipped around, spoke an interesting form of 'french', and scrambled for the door (and light switch).
whoever was in there the night before had music playing, and the song that came on as i fumbled my way around had an introduction of little kids playing.
but because "teaching" changes a person's mental state...hehe...i thought my worst nightmare had come true!!!! just saying...it could happen...dark room, kids giggling as they sharpen their axes...
(lyrics below...in case you don't know what they are saying...hehe)
The sun has set. I close my eyes.
I pretend everything’s alright.
Drowning in anger from all these lies,
I can’t pretend everything’s alright.
Please don’t let me fall forever.
Can you tell me it’s over now?
There’s a hate inside of me like some kind of master.
I try to save you, but I can’t find the answer.
I’m holding on to you. I’ll never let go.
I need you with me as I enter the shadows.
Caught in the darkness, I go blind.
Can you help me find my way out?
Nobody hears me. I suffer the silence.
Can you tell me it’s over now?
There’s a hate inside of me like some kind of master.
I try to save you, but I can’t find the answer.
I’m holding on to you. I’ll never let go.
I need you with me as I enter the shadows.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
something about this whole deal was some sort of initiation, i'm guessing. i don't mean that in the professional sense (although it'd be nice to see some change come there). no, i just mean it felt like god was doing something inside me in the willingness and then wrestling to see it through to the end. i had a massive anxiety wall, but i kept going...yay!
OH!...i had the most wonderful drive down with god. i put my ipod on shuffle and literally experience a solid hour of god-picked songs that are special to me (in my relationship with him). it was hilarious!!! even more amazing???...when i was driving home and wanted to flip backwards to listen to it again, the entire hour of music was gone. only the shuffle from the night before was there!!! sweet! so, even though it was a challenge, i know he was doing the whole deal right with me. amazing!
i'm so, so, so tired of people who just live their lives being constantly offended by certain issues. people throw out statistics about problems...true stats even...and somehow because of fear or the fact that they think saying it out loud might actually make it happen (like curse someone), others cast judgment on the messenger.
seriously...what the heck? how about taking information and getting in the trenches to make those stats NOT TRUE???
OH...and all this assuming crap!! someone says something the wrong way or leaves something out that they hold dear...why clarify???...no, demonize the messenger. surely, they meant to spit on your value.
i just think that people could do themselves A TON OF GOOD by looking at why they have to be so pissed off by things. i wish they would because they certainly don't contribute anything meaningful to change or progress. they just sit in the corner all ticked off...DOING NOTHING!
ok...so a bit of background...and yes, i'm paying attention to why i'm so ticked too...a packet on a new program for investing in our kids' lives was presented at the church annual meeting today. there was a section on the wonders of being female that didn't have all the information in it that it should have. you could tell because the male section was longer. oh my GOSH!!!...the immediate offense that somehow girls weren't as valuable etc. and all kinds of assumptions and judgments...it was sickening. and, of course, even after the clarification...nope, still all the drama. i'm on the committee for putting this program together...AND I'M A FLAMING FEMINIST!!...hello? women are worthless??...stupid, stupid, stupid. just makes me want to tell people to work out their stuff. put up or shut up!! there are things like ROUGH DRAFTS (that actually say 'ROUGH DRAFT' on the title), there are things that get forgotten (hence why we have meetings for FEEDBACK), and there are areas where we have to totally start from scratch because culture/etc. hasn't provided information and/or resources. but some people just have to jump on their wound bandwagons...assume, assume, judge, judge. totally not helpful.
my major sadness in it...since when do our hurts in other areas or with other people give us permission to judge the goodness of the hearts of others? my experiences with chauvinism don't give me one ounce of permission to assume it of all. not anymore, at least...and thank god for that!!!
Saturday, October 17, 2009
anyway, man, if you aren't sure what god is whispering to your heart these days...these lyrics seem pretty much from his to yours. (mine for sure). :) because here's the "straight-shootin'" deal. 'have a little faith' isn't referring to just believing he's our savior...it's that intimate trust that he's desiring to release us into. a life where we know that he's our father, he's the lover of our heart...in a living, real and deep life together.
anyhoo...i'm rambling again. :)
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
got some great points, though. sweet!
Monday, October 12, 2009
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Saturday, October 3, 2009
DID YOU KNOW?
Peel a banana from the bottom and you won't have to pick the little 'stringythings' off of it. That's how the primates do it.
Take your bananas apart when you get home from the store. If you leave them connected at the stem, they ripen faster.
Peppers with 3 bumps on the bottom are sweeter andbetter for eating. Peppers with 4 bumps on the bottom are firmer and better for cooking.
Add a teaspoon of water when frying ground beef. It will help pull the grease away from the meat while cooking.
Add garlic immediately to a recipe if you want a light taste of garlic and at the end of the recipe if your want a stronger taste of garlic.
Heat up leftover pizza in a nonstick skillet on top of the stove, set heat to med-low and heat till warm. This keeps the crust crispy. No soggy micro pizza. I saw this on the cooking channel and it really works.
Easy Deviled Eggs Put cooked egg yolks in a zip lock bag. Seal, mash till they are all broken up.. Add remainder of ingredients,reseal, keep mashing it up mixing thoroughly, cut the tip of the baggy, squeeze mixture into egg. Just throw bag away when done easy clean up.
When you buy a container of cake frosting from the store, whip it with your mixerfor a few minutes. You can double it in size. You get to frost more cake/cupcakes with the same amount. You also eat less sugar and calories per serving..
To warm biscuits, pancakes, or muffins that were refrigerated, place them in a microwave with a cup of water. The increased moisture will keep the food moist and help it reheat faster.
Start putting in your plants, work the nutrients in your soil. Wet newspapers, put layers around the plants overlapping as you go cover with mulch and forget about weeds. Weeds will get through some gardening plastic they will not get through wet newspapers.
No More Mosquitoes Place a dryer sheet in your pocket. It will keep the mosquitoes away.
Squirrel Away! To keep squirrels from eating your plants, sprinkle your plants with cayenne pepper. The cayenne pepper doesn't hurt the plant and the squirrels won't come near it.
To get something out of a heat register or under the fridge add an empty paper towel roll or empty gift wrap roll to your vacuum. It can be bent or flattened to get in narrowopenings.
Pin a small safety pin to the seam of your slip and you will not have a clingy skirt or dress. Same thing works with slacks that cling when wearing panty hose. Place pin in seam of slacks and ... ta da! ... static is gone.
Before you pour sticky substances into a measuring cup, fill with hot water. Dump out the hot water, but don't dry cup. Next, add your ingredient, such as peanut butter, and watch how easily it comes right out.
Hate foggy windshields? Buy a chalkboard eraser and keep it in the glove box of your car. When the windows fog, rub with the eraser Works better than a cloth!
If you seal an envelope and then realize you forgot to include something inside, just place your sealed envelope in the freezer for an hour or two. Viola! It unseals easily.
Use your hair conditionerto shave your legs. It's cheaper than shaving cream and leaves your legs really smooth. It's also a great way to use up the conditioner you bought but didn't like when you tried it in your hair.
To get rid of pesky fruit flies, take a small glass, fill it 1/2' with Apple Cider Vinegar and 2 drops of dish washing liquid; mix well. You will find those flies drawn to the cup and gone forever!
Put small piles of cornmeal where you see ants. They eat it, take it 'home,' can't digest it so it kills them. It may take a week or so, especially if it rains, but it works and you don't have the worry about pets or small children being harmed!
The heating unit went out on my dryer! The gentleman that fixes things around the house for us told us that he wanted to show us something, and he went over to the dryer and pulled out the lint filter. It was clean. (I always clean the lint from the filter after every load clothes.) He took the filter over to the sink and ran hot water over it. The lint filter is made of a mesh material ... I'm sure you know what your dryer's lint filter looks like. Well ... the hot water just sat on top of the mesh! It didn't go through it at all! He told us that dryer sheets cause a film over that mesh, and that's what burns out the heating unit. You can't SEE the film, but it's there. It's what is in the dryer sheets to make your clothes soft and static free .. that nice fragrance too. You know how they can feel waxy when you take them out of the box? ... well this stuff builds up on your clothes and on your lint screen. This is also what causes dryer units to potentially burn your house down! He said the best way to keep your dryer working for a very long time (and to keep your electric bill lower) is to take that filter out and wash it with hot soapy water and an old toothbrush (or other brush) at least every six months. He said that makes the life of the dryer at least twice as long! How about that!?! Learn something new everyday! I certainly didn't know dryer sheets would do that.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Thursday, September 24, 2009
so to that i resoundingly say..."thanks, parents! you sure make my day a lot tougher...and your kids' over all journey to adulthood a lot longer and more traumatic."
boundaries/discipline=GOOD! healthy sense of self and security, consciousness of others...good stuff.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
what it also means, at least from a professional perspective, is that i can't just be forthright when i'm frustrated. at least not publicly...tends to light all the wrong fires, you know?
so all in all...the first reason and the last...make me feel...trapped.
so...here's my plan. 1) appointment with god. 2) convo with daddie/momma/joy/jody. 3) dancing...and ice cream. :)
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Saturday, September 19, 2009
one of my sisters and her hubby, who already have 3 boys, are now adding to the family! a boy and a girl! you know...i've always thought that it would be awesome for rommel to have a daughter. he's such an awesome guy!
so...the new adventure begins! yay god!
Friday, September 18, 2009
well, i've been catching up a bit because i become so busy with the start of the school year. this one has totally blessed my socks off. i love it because i get so perplexed by how polarized people get on "issues"...and totally justify belittling, hating, etc. their discussion offers some wonderful insight on conflict...especially in community.
here's the description.
How can we communicate with others our heart-felt passions, even political positions, without destroying our relationship with them? Recent comments about the health care debate in the States brought a host of responses from listeners, many of which wanted to divide up sides and diminish those that disagreed with them. The pretense of certainty and our desire to convince others how right we are actually destroys both relationship and dialog. Wayne and Brad talk about the community people most often seek, they actually subvert by these tactics. It is often true that those who scream the loudest are the least certain of their grasp on truth or freedom.
there are links to the podcasts on the bottom of the website. otherwise, it's also available for a free subscription on itunes. :)
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
well, i've been watching some bio's on great thinkers...the "heroes" of some.
it is soooo interesting to me that while a person may be famous for a breakthrough theory, equation, philosophy, etc, their true story actually reveals that they were guilty of being...well...a bad human.
yet...their moment of excellence is what suddenly makes everything they say, everything they are "for" or "against" into miraculous gold nuggets.
it's just interesting that the rest of life is actually the undoing of the "hero"...if we look.
some wouldn't care...i'm actually relieved because it makes uber-people into simple, normal ones.
some would totally care...wouldn't want to even hear it. rocks the pedestal a bit too much...and all the "backing" for our thoughts on things along with it.
all this focus on the robbery aspect...but...i just feel like asking some other OBVIOUS questions.
getting it on in A DUMPSTER???? ok, yep...you had your wallet taken, etc...but you were HAVING SEX IN A DUMPSTER!!
there's so, so, sooooooo much wrong with that.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
it does, after all, come down to our authorization of it's release...or lack there of...
and i guess i'd rather be a vessel than a roadblock...
i have opinions on a lot of things. some strong...some not. i also don't have an opinion on a lot of things. could care less frankly.
the shocker???...not everyone agrees with me! hahaha!
the other shocker???...i actually know that! and i'm not too rocked by it. i'm cool having my opinions...and my entire identity is not rocked by disagreement.
the other OTHER shocker???...as i go and grow, i may actually change my thoughts on things and decide that i was wrong or not as deep as i could have been.
no WAY!...yes WAY!
not perfectly, of course, but better and better...i've actually been finding myself considering what nugget of goodness i can pull from all the varying opinions that fly by me. not that i have to agree...but that i can truthfully listen. doing so actually helps me to get a bigger picture...get outside myself...and even get a teensy snapshot of the real person rather than the glitz and glamour of all the philosophies, labels, groups, etc that we hide behind.
so lately...when people have to play their "i'm offended" card...i just don't get it. seems like a small way to live...sad.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Saturday, September 12, 2009
what ended up surfacing on this retreat weekend was a major cry of my heart...something that i know fuels much of my movement or lack thereof. see, i don't want to have my faith life be one of "mountain top" to "mountain top". i don't want to have these amazing experiences with god only to have to carry the memory of them through the valleys of this life. no, no, no...i want to walk with god. i want to have a moment-by-moment intimacy with him.
i need that to be true.
because i can't go through this life even one more day if it's not.
so.....on the last night of the retreat, we all went to this special dinner. chocolate fountains...yes, fountains plural!!!! :) and on one table there laid about 50 cards. each one was specially made and unique. no two were alike outside and in. we were asked to take a note that stood out to us and peak inside.
so i did. a simple purple note with some ribbon and sparkles inside.
and the moment i opened it...i slammed it shut. i saw a few of the words written inside and knew that if i read it right there, i'd be a mess.
so i waited until later.
and when i opened it...man, i was undone.
remember the first night when i had that song playing in my head? the one where i went outside to sway in the night? well, my note was a page from a book. messages from god to his princess. it talked about intimacy and his heart to get so lost in each other...and it ended with "come away with me..."
it was him the whole weekend...wooing me, calming me, giving me direction, and then giving me promise.
it was amazing!
Friday, September 11, 2009
my personal belief on our country's problems is that few are actually right about the answer. we took the road towards "independence" and ended up at the extreme...life at the expense of caring for our fellow man. people suffered because of it. and now we've over-corrected in pursuit of dependence on "pharoah" for all that's good for "me". flinging ourselves to the other end of the spectrum...still using the same "entitlement" fuel. sheesh!
now we listen to whomever tells us what we want to hear. de tocqueville's thoughts on "the public being bribed with the public's money" seem so accurate of late.
as for voting, i guess i've tended towards the conservative...at least that seems to be the trend. yet in that admission, i struggle to be identified with too much of the "conservative club" mentality...but must also admit that i find the "liberal club" to be just as distasteful.
no one knows their history anymore...and the irony is always soooo thick because of it.
i've loved the "stop picking on my prez" reaction by the libs. how ironic that there was no issue for them to do the same even a year ago. if we had a cent for each of the justifications, we'd be debt-free in no time. ;)
and the conservs going all "he's the antichrist" regarding the new big guy. libs thought g.w. was the big bad too remember...
for me, it's not ever one man that's the problem. it's the people that put him there. and those people are on all sides in my opinion.
sooooo...what to do? man, i don't know...nothing is going to poof away our problems. going through is the only way...but i guess how long we'll keep plodding with our eyes closed is yet to be determined. makes me think of the classic question in the 'matrix'...the red pill or the blue pill? embracing humility might be a good place to start. even if we are headed in an equally crazy direction, even if we have to constantly shut off the news stories of fear-ridden conservs given by cult-euphoria-hazed journalists, even if we end up where our worst fears think we are headed (on either side)...we can choose to live by the deeper truths...living out christ's heart in every moment.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
granted, there have been other years with major challenges, but year #1 was just horrible. not only was it a new job. it was the year that brought the deaths of both of my dear grandpas, my mom's cancer, the death of a board member, and the challenge of working with staff members that didn't want me there remotely. to say that it was a struggle is...HAHAHA...a major understatement.
each one of those in and of itself did a number on my heart, but, today, i'm remembering bob. he was the board member that passed away. an awful hunting accident...a total shock. he left behind a wife and two sweet little boys (kindergarten and 1st grade). even now, thinking about the loss they experienced makes my heart ache.
i literally knew bob for six months before his passing, but in that time i was so, so, so blessed with some profound and wonderful conversations with him as he expressed his heart for his sons, for christian education and for the future. i even had the good fortune of hearing about how much he admired his wife. :) in the months before his death his whole focus changed...bob was almost obsessed with the notion that life was really about christ...about knowing him. he began meeting with his priest weekly to talk about things he was reading in his bible...he was desperately hungry.
sometimes i wonder if he was experiencing his spirit being called home...
well, i had an interesting experience today. his oldest boy who is now a high schooler (!) came in to my office to work on homework after school. he was chatting with friends and finishing his math...having fun. after a bit, though, it became quiet...and then it happened. the son turned and asked me to tell him about my conversations with his dad.
OH MY GOSH!!!...what a HUGE privilege!
so, i did!!! man, did i ever!!!!
i told him about how much he wanted life with jesus, how much he loved his sons, how funny and quirky he was...and i got to hear even more stories from him about things his mom shared about bob too. (he actually read his bible all the way through FOUR TIMES in the months before his death!)
you know what??...i realized that even though we have to experience some tough things in this life...horrible hurts that leave so many questions...god has given us a gift in each other if we choose to not go through life alone. come what may, we can have the precious privilege of witnessing each other's lives...and becoming the keepers of the memories for those times when remembering is so necessary.
so...i'm thankful for the life of bob enos. i too needed a reminder of his passion...his godly hunger...and i was able to receive it from his son. what a privilege!
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
one of my best friends has been experiencing a ton of drama. it's been very overwhelming, and i feel so bad about it. i keep praying that it can just be over soon...but at the same time, i want to swoop in and crack some skulls.
(yes, i know violence is not an option...that's why i blog, baby!...vent the rage, vent the rage!) :)
of course, EVERYONE has their opinions. and of course, all those opinions have been free to circulate everywhere OTHER than within the confines of a respectable disagreement between TWO parties. those words, obviously, make their way and do their damage. it's inappropriate, insulting...and quite the sham of any real insight or advice.
opinions???? i've got some opinions...ohhhhhhh, yes, i do... mine are safely shoved in my pocket, but i'm not opposed to whippin' them out if necessary. i've frankly had it.
what's that quote about a woman scorned?...hmm.
so i went to this retreat in this state of confusion...
well, during another quiet time i was able to experience more of god's reality in fear-ridden areas.
i guess it starts there...getting it out on the table. i've definitely been wrestling with some desires that i have...dreams and such. if i step out of trusting god, i get fearful. in fact, my fear actually stops me dead in my tracks from even moving ahead in pursuit of those dreams. instead, i sink into agreement with the enemy...and...just...stop.
so i got some stuff out on the table.
and then i listened.
rap, actually, was the music of choice. go figure!
and i allowed my imagination to help me "visually" pray.
here's what i saw...
a lady...of the renaissance sort...stepping out of a carriage, being led by a lord through doors, being presented, etc. beautiful dress. :) occasionally, she would express her strength. sometimes she would battle. but what she loved...what was her "base"...was that she and her lord had their place of "closed doors". it was a relationship that didn't just involve doing...there was a "being"...and a "being together". i think it allowed her to do the rest of her life.
well, suddenly i realized that the "lady" was me. :) then i was being led through another set of doors...and the lord turned. he said, "i don't use. i unleash."
and with a depth that only god's truth create in the places that desperately need to hear it...i believed.
i've been through this before...we've had a ton of parents come to drop off that special little person on that significant day. of course, there are tears...but it's always ok.
part of me has thought to myself, "come on! it's kindergarten! what are they going to do on the graduation day???".
word to the wise...DON'T EVER think crap like that!!!
little miss walked into school this morning with her mommie...and this auntie started to bawl.
what the heck???
yep, i actually had to go to my office to "calm" myself.
funny thing...my sis saw my eyeball leaking and immediately shouted "don't you cry!!!". if i did...she would. in talking to her later on, she actually thought my bawling helped her!!...haha!...because she got to be all "stop it and get away from me" to distract herself.
ohhhh ya...i'm so happy to help...AHHH!
if i actually have my own kids someday...i'm screwed!
Saturday, September 5, 2009
and of course, there's the 'rave' version too! :)
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
it's 'teacher workshop' this week. getting ready for the first day of school. holy shmoly though!! some of the teachers in the other department are super high maintenance...making every stinkin' thing a complete crisis! i'm almost to the point of smackdown...but i'll wait until my boss gives me the green light. ;)
the nice thing???...my secondary teachers are "roll with it" people for the most part. pheww!!!
Saturday, August 29, 2009
i don't have a 'book smart' relationship with god....i'm pretty sure everyone knows that. ;) it's a romance for me...and i love it (even the fighting...hehe). but, if you've read any of my blogs below, you know that i've been majorly fighting with god...so going to the retreat had it's own challenges. haha! myself being the biggest one! :) well, they gave us a TON of 'quiet time' at this retreat...which actually really bugged me at first because i didn't have anything nice to say god.
he apparently had nice things to say to me...he's so unpredictable! keeps me hopping...
well, the first night i went back to my bunk to be all 'quiet'. i flipped through my bible, found some nice verses, thought about them for a while. you know...good 'christianese' behavior. well, then these few words of a song started rolling through my brain. "come away with me in the night". my brain let out a huge "oh crap!"...god was actually showing up to meet with this obstinate gal. ;) i tried as hard as i could to ignore it...i'll talk more about why another time...and finally gave up. a resounding "fine!" shot through my head, and i bolted out the door. i decided to meet him literally...i went ouside into the night. "here i am...in the night!" (ya, i'm thinking god either loves my honesty with him...or he wants to pop me like a zit.) the words came again..."come away with me"...over and over and over again.
so, there i stood in the middle of the woods, listening to the wind flow through the leaves, and i just started to sway. swaying back and forth. haha...reminds me of the 'pocahontas' scene with her hair all "blowy" in the wind.
and that was it. we just swayed.
so i spent my first 'quiet time' slow dancing with god to the rhythm in the wind.
i never could remember who actually sang that song...or what the rest of the words were. that is until today. here it is...the lyrics are wonderful. the video is odd...but oh well...just close your eyes.
Come Away With Me