Monday, January 31, 2011

Introducing the Ringtone!!

Ohhhhh, ya. With my new phone comes a new ringtone. Here it is!!! I love this song!


I'm staring out my office window at the depressing snow....dreaming of volleyball this summer. *sigh* Yes, I could even handle seeing the Red team...the bane of my existence. ;) Just...Give...Me...Volleyball (in searing heat). :)


I've been thinking about something. Shocking, I know! ;) A situation where I felt so humiliated. From start to finish, it was just...embarassing. I have to shake my head sometimes at the situations I end up in. Do I sign up to be played the fool? Haha...oh dear!! Anyway, it's been so hard to not let that rock my boat too terribly. Admittedly, there have been moments where it has...but that's's real. It's how I know I'm in touch with my heart. The good news is that I also know moments of security...there've been some helpful lessons along the way that have taught me to nurture the soul and fight for the sunrises in life.

Here are some...

Don't let the humiliating things validate the "Told You So" beliefs that you've held. You know...those things like "See, people are all just..." that we defend our hearts with to make sense of the pain. It's SUCH a hard thing to do, but we have to commit ourselves to it. Hearts are worth great freedom...and that includes freedom from "grids" that skew our perception of others/ourselves and our ability to extend grace. That freedom lets us step into new adventures with wonderful openness...

Use these moments as stepping stones towards greater strength, greater confidence, greater HOPE... To be the fool because you risked something...dared to try something...??? Well, that's actually a compliment! Not an insult in the least! Failure is in not trying...that's what my Uncle Tim always says. :)

So...still plodding through a bit of the blah...BUT...also stepping up off this stone of humiliation. ;)

Great Devo

Sunday, January 30, 2011 [Ransomed Heart Ministries On-Line Devo]

If You Knew His Heart Was Good

Everyone has been betrayed by someone, some more profoundly than others. Betrayal is a violation that strikes at the core of our being; to make ourselves vulnerable and entrust our well-being to another, only to be harmed by those on whom our hopes were set, is among the worst pain of human experience.

Sometimes the way God treats us feels like betrayal. We find ourselves in a dangerous world, unable to arrange for the water our thirsty souls so desperately need. Our rope won't take the bucket to the bottom of the well. We know God has the ability to draw water for us, but oftentimes he won't. We feel wronged. After all, doesn't Scripture say that if we have the power to do someone good, we should do it (Prov. 3:27)? So why doesn't God?

As I spoke with a friend about her painful life, how reckless and unpredictable God seems, she turned and with pleading eyes asked the question we are all asking somewhere deep within: "How can I trust a lover who is so wild?" Indeed, how do we not only trust him, but love him in return? There's only one possible answer: You could love him if you knew his heart was good.

(The Sacred Romance , 70)

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Parents' Love Song

This is my parents' theme song. So romantic! I think I'm going to make it a theme song for me too. Good message!


It does my heart so much good to run into a lady named Janelle. Her story is so encouraging to me, and it seems like such a God-thing that I have the opportunity to run into her just when my heart is struggling. I went to a concert tonight, and she happened to be leading the first song! She walked off the stage after her part was done and headed for her seat. Turns out she was on her way to the row behind me...gave me a hug as she passed by. It was the shot in the arm that I needed. :)

Thursday, January 27, 2011

iPhone Fun

One good thing...has been the addition of an iPhone to my life! It was a pleasant surprise because...well...I'm poor!!! Haha! Turns out I'm getting a fabulous deal! Oh my's so much fun! I'm not sure I'll ever be the same. ;)

Bring on the D-3

Ugh...I can tell that winter is setting in...mentally. Lack of time in the great outdoors...I can just feel myself sinking into the "low". Add to that the crazy-busy state of things is closing in! So???...time to open a bottle of Vitamin D-3. Sunshine in a bottle...:)

Monday, January 24, 2011

Girlfriends in God Website

I stumbled across this devotional site when I was looking for a verse on . Great stuff for the ladies! :)

Girlfriends in God

Separate Journeys: Head and Heart

Separate Journeys: Head and Heart  {Devo from Ransomed Heart Ministries}

The sense of being part of some bigger story, a purposeful adventure that is the Christian life, begins to drain away again after those first-love years in spite of everything we can do to stop it. Instead of a love affair with God, your life begins to feel more like a series of repetitive behaviors, like reading the same chapter of a book or writing the same novel over and over. The orthodoxy we try to live out, defined as "Believe and Behave Accordingly," is not a sufficient story line to satisfy whatever turmoil and longing our heart is trying to tell us about. Somehow our head and heart are on separate journeys and neither feels like life.

Eventually this division of head and heart culminates in one of two directions. We can either deaden our heart or divide our life into two parts, where our outer story becomes the theater of the should and our inner story the theater of needs, the place where we quench the thirst of our heart with whatever water is available. I chose the second route, living what I thought of as my religious life with increasing dryness and cynicism while I found "water" where I could: in sexual fantasies, alcohol, the next dinner out, late-night violence videos, gaining more knowledge through religious seminars-whatever would slake the thirsty restlessness inside. Whichever path we choose-heart deadness or heart and head separation-the wounds, the Arrows win, and we lose heart.

This is the story of all our lives, in one way or another. The haunting of the Romance and the Message of the Arrows are so radically different and they seem so mutually exclusive they split our hearts in two. In every way that the Romance is full of beauty and wonder, the Arrows are equally powerful in their ugliness and devastation.

(The Sacred Romance , 30-31)

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Me and Games

You know what I've been noticing about myself?? I'm not sure there's something as simple as "just a game" for this girl. Competition means...war. HAHAHA! Oh boy...I should probably avoid too much gaming...helps keep the heart from arrest. Ok...except for sand volleyball...I'll head for war when that starts up. ;)


It's been SOOO busy lately!! I literally run from thing to thing... Just when it seems suddenly busy though, I realize that there is no such thing as "yet again" in my life. It's ALWAYS busy!!! Oh to find a little window to...clean and do more laundry. Grr! it not also odd that things can be so busy yet so boring? Busyness marked by routine drives me nuts. I've got to create something soon or I'll explode.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011


Oh man...the busybodies are at it...and are driving me nuts.

Monday, January 17, 2011


Oh my...sigh...I couldn't agree with Greg Boyd more on this one.

Greg Boyd's Blog

I can't say how God feels about all war. Some seems just. What I can't stand is how some people spiritualize things that aren't necessarily connected to anything. Science speaks...

"Federal records show that while mass animal kills don't hap...pen every day, they aren't nearly as rare as some folks think. In just the past eight months, the U.S. Geological Survey's National Wildlife Health Center in Wisconsin has recorded 95 mass wildlife die-offs in North America.

On that list are 4,300 ducks that were killed by parasites in Minnesota, 900 turkey vultures that drowned in the Florida Keys and 2,750 sea birds that died a mysterious and as yet unexplained death in California.

On average, USGS numbers show that 163 mass animal kills are reported to the federal government every year. In the past some have been much larger than the 3,000 blackbirds in Arkansas. In the summer of 1996 more than 200,000 ducks died of botulism in Canada."

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Watch with Care

Oh my gosh!! I feel bad for the kid and how afraid he must the same time, I can't stop laughing!!! Umm...does life ever feel this way to you??? Oh man...rofl.

Umm...and this one...


Probably one of the saddest scenes in a chic flick EVER!!


New Hair!

Yep...I find that when the crap-cup runneth's good to shake things up a bit. Today??...a new hair style. Waaaaaay shorter and I love it!! :)

Thursday, January 13, 2011


Weighing Regrets

So...I'm thinking to part with the feeling of being the idiot. Here's why. Of all the regrets to have in a scenario, the one of being made the fool is really not so bad. Granted, it's still a bit embarassing, but in comparison to the other possibilities, it's really not so bad.

Do I have the regret of not being a good friend?...NO!

Do I have the regret of being a coward?...NO!

Do I have the regret of not trying new and challenging things?...NO!

So..."this too shall pass!"...and I'll be better for it.

What if more lived like this...

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Linda's Cancer

Ugh!! I just found out that one of my friends from college is fighting cancer! She and her husband are blogging their way through it. So powerful! Praying for her!

Linda's Blog

Balance Beam


I hate when I realize that I've made a complete ass of myself. Ya, I said a "naughty", but I figure when the shoe fits I should pretty much wear it. I wonder if logical people make complete fools of themselves as often as we "feely" types. Maybe it's just too much of a logical culture and I need to find a more airy-fairy one. I bet I'd fit right in there... ;)

Pick Yourself Up

Monday, January 10, 2011

Alice and the Zombies

Ya, it's weird. Sometimes I just have to spend time with Alice as she kills hoards of zombies in the Resident Evil movies. Granted, they are really stupid movies, I'm sure...but there's just something I love about watching her take care of business. HAHA! She just keeps going, blowing monster's heads off and basically saving the day. *sigh* All in a day's work! ;)

Sunday, January 9, 2011

The Scary Opportunities

Do you ever run into opportunities...great opportunities...that scare the absolute daylights out of you? Oh my gosh...I'm staring one down right now!!! Accepting it and moving towards it is a journey towards a launching pad. I've always known that. While excited, I must admit that I'm actually petrified! Why??? Launching pads mean risk and possible failure. They mean change and the great unknown. AHH! No more stauling for this gal though. I guess it's time to do it afraid!

Forgetting...and Remembering

Sometimes when I get frustrated, I start to take my eyes off God. I begin to focus on the mess around me and become overwhelmed. Something strange happens as I take my eyes off Him though...I find that I begin to forget who I am. Who I'm meant to be, that is. Amazing how our gaze and our sense of identity are so related, isn't it? Well, I've been forgetting who I am of late. I guess pain does that sometimes.

But God is so good! ( keep reading...hehe.)

The other day I was thinking about my life theme songs. I think I blogged about them earlier in the week. Songs that stand for who I am (or am meant to be because of God). I have to access them from time to time when I need to fight for my heart. One of my first theme songs was "Testify to Love" from the 90's. It's a song about someone whose life is marked by love to the degree that her life will speak to the reality and power of it in even in the darkest times. When I first heard it, I felt the weight of it and knew it was a calling. It brought me a great deal of hope at the time, that God had a plan for my life, was working and I could trust Him.

Well, life has been ridiculous lately!! Just about every area of my "pie" has been..."AHHHH!". From personal to others, there's been suffering, bad treatment, ignorance, huge's seriously been the week from hell. Well, I knew God was reminding me of my theme songs because I was slowly forgetting who I am. And honestly, I've been fighting Him a bit even in the reminding. I, all too easily, shake my fists at Him rather than run to Him. So, I've been experiencing a mix of comfort and..."brat". ;) It's been getting better though. Every day I've been fighting less and sitting back down in my sense of who He and I respectively are.

Coolest thing though!!! It didn't end there!

Just to make sure that I got the sense of His control in the middle of my mess and a picture of who I could choose to be in the midst of it, He sent me a message today. I was walking into church after worship had started and literally stopped in my tracks. You know what song the worship leader was singing as I walked in??? My life theme song!!! How the heck??? Who sings this in church??? Ha!...apparently we do! So I walked in just shaking my head and smiling. "Fine, God. I get it."

Here's to laying down the "fight" and trusting...and being a lady who lets her life speak of love even in the silences...

Saturday, January 8, 2011


It's true..."the only thing we have to fear is fear itself". People owned by fear pass up so many opportunities and adventures because of it. It's a sad way to live. And at the end of it all???...I wonder if the fearful find their lack of courage worth it. I'm guessing not. Safe, lonely and robbed of life. Hmm...


Please keep my Grams in prayer. She's had a rough go of it lately. I love her so much and can't stand to see her suffer. Thanks so much!

Devo about the Heart

The Heart Is Central [Devotional from Ransomed Heart Ministries]

The heart is central. That I would even need to remind you of this only shows how far we have fallen from the life we were meant to live-or how powerful the spell has been. The subject of the heart is addressed in the Bible more than any other topic-more than "works" or "serve," more than "believe" or "obey," more than money and even more than worship. Maybe God knows something we've forgotten. But of course-all those other things are matters of the heart. Consider but a few passages:

Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. (Deut. 6:5) [Jesus called this the greatest of all the command-ments-and notice that the heart comes first.]

Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart. (1 Sam. 16:7)

Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. (Luke 12:34)

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. (Prov. 3:5)

Your word I have treasured in my heart, that I may not sin against You. (Ps. 119:11 NASB)

These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. (Matt 15:8)

For the eyes of the LORD range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him. (2 Chron. 16:9)

(Waking the Dead, 39-40)

Friday, January 7, 2011

When We're Wrong

Sometimes we find that people aren't who they say they are...and boy, can that be a huge disappointment. I've had a bit of a slap in the face with that reality of late. It's left me a bit sad and embarassed. Sad because I actually enjoyed what I thought was genuine. Embarassed because I put myself out there over and over again only to feel like an ass. It's just that I find myself hoping in some cases that I'll find that a person is different and genuine and two-way...only to find that I was mistaken. I know that I'm capable of the same hypocrisy. Any of us are. Because of that, I know I can access grace for myself and for all concerned. But for right now...there's a bit of a sting. *sigh* Not sure what else I can do. I think I gave it my best shot though. Maybe that's my personal victory in the matter.

Bed Intruder Song

HAHA! I bet you are wondering what in the world this blog is about! My older kids had me watch these videos...some of the latest entertainment to hit youtube. *sigh* The beginning of the story is actually disturbing. A gal is attacked in her home. Fortunately, her brother comes in and saves her! The attacker gets away sadly. This sets up the interview on the news...and a song made from his interview. The guy featured in the song actually was spotlighted on New Year's Eve for the funnier aspects of the whole thing and subsequently appeared on many tv shows. Oh dear! A good note, I guess, is that he actually earned money through all that to buy a house for his family so they could move out of the neighborhood.

Devotions with my Kids

Every now and then I feel an imperative to do more with my students concerning their faith. Here's what I mean. Often times Christian school teachers and Christian parents get so caught up in teaching the "info" of faith that we forget to disciple them in the practical "how's" of their faith. We tell them a bunch of stuff and forget to help them do it themselves. So this week we've been spending our class devotions time (junior high kiddos) in quiet reflection. I've been letting them have a couple of minutes to sit and reflect on a couple of verses of their choosing. I make them only take a couple because I want them to focus on going deeper rather than covering a lot of material. They read and re-read doing one of two things. First, they see if any words stand out to them. They can then take that word and think about it (what it means, synonyms, how it applies to God or to them, etc.). Or, second, they can make a picture in their minds or on paper of what that verse "looks like". They can look for God in the picture or how it pertains to Him or what's going on in their lives.


When we've been getting done, their hands fly up!!! They want to share what they read and what it has meant to them. So great!!

What's also cool is that themes start to emerge. All without knowing what any of the others are reading for the day, they'll see that some were lead to verses about how big and in control God is. Others will see a trend where some were lead to verses about not worrying. They start to see how God is speaking to them indivdually and to the whole group through each other.

Yes, there are days where I absolutely love my job! Not only do I get to see them grow...but I get to be personally encouraged and inspired by them! Some would call this a "perk"!!! ;)

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Continued Prayers

Please continue to pray for my friend Jody's brother. He's in need of healing! God is so good. He's showing His fingerprints in the midst of the struggle, and I know it's encouraging. So please join me in continued prayer.

Life Theme Songs

I'm a firm believer in Life Theme Songs. Sometimes these are simply songs that represent a key moment in our lives. I like ones that also remind me who I am or want to be. I was listening to pandora today, and one of my theme songs came on! So, of course, I went to youtube to search out some of the others just to walk down Memory Lane. What can I say...I'm a quirky one! ;)

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Good Theme for the Year

It's not that we won't feel fear this year; it's that we aren't going to let it call the shots." Bob Goff


Goodness, it's been a terrible week! The only positive has been my productivity level...haha! I have this quirk that I tend to actually get a lot done when life sucks. Go figure! God helped me out a ton this morning though. We had a chapel speaker who talked about spending time with Jesus...starting small and experiencing the sweetness of it. She ended with this song. It spoke so much to my heart and the things I'm wrestling with.

Monday, January 3, 2011

Inspirational MLK Story

From the book Soul Survivor by Philip Yancey

King sat staring at an untouched cup of coffee and tried to think of a way out, a way to quietly surrender leadership and resume the serene life of scholarship he had planned. In the next room lay his wife Coretta, already asleep, along with their newborn daughter Yolanda. Here is how King remembers it in a sermon he preached:

"And I sat at that table thinking about that little girl and thinking about the fact that she could be taken away from me any minute. And I started thinking about a dedicated, devoted and loyal wife, who was over there asleep. . . . And I got to the point that I couldn't take it anymore. I was weak. . . .

And I discovered then that religion had to become real to me, and I had to know God for myself. And I bowed down over that cup of coffee. I never will forget it. . . . I prayed a prayer, and I prayed out loud that night. I said, "Lord, I'm down here trying to do what's right. I think I'm right. I think the cause that we represent is right. But Lord, I must confess that I'm weak now. I'm faltering. I'm losing my courage."

. . . And it seemed at that moment that I could hear an inner voice saying to me, "Martin Luther, stand up for righteousness. Stand up for justice. Stand up for truth. And lo I will be with you, even until the end of the world." . . . I heard the voice of Jesus saying still to fight on. He promised never to leave me, never to leave me alone. No never alone. No never alone. He promised never to leave me, never to leave me alone."

(From sermon tape)

Three nights later, as promised, a bomb exploded on the front porch of King's home, filling the house with smoke and broken glass but injuring no one. King took it calmly: "My religious experience a few nights before had given me the strength to face it."

Best Quote of the Day

Today a student said, "Hmm, I wonder if there's a way we could discover how the ancient people made babies...". Long pause, awkward glances. "Umm, I'm pretty sure we have..."

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Messy End to Break

This was a really great Christmas first. Most of it was great fun and full of relaxation. I was able to catch up with a lot of friends, enjoy wonderful family get-togethers and make some steps towards some goals of mine.

And then the bombs started flying. How frustrating!!

I had a bit of a glimpse into a friendship that definitely is not a safe one. Lots of chatter about personal things going on without my permission. Not cool. Then one of my friends found out her brother is sick with the c-word. How sad and shocking! I've been praying like crazy! Then I had to make some final assumptions in another situation based on no information. Hence, not confident actions on my part. Lack of communication, while not intended, can actually end up being really hurtful. Trying to not "wear" that proves difficult, but maybe it'll just be a good faith lesson in the end. Still hard though. Oh!...and then there was the run-in with a "blast from the past". Ick. And to top it all off...illness.


It's really tempting in times like these to let every negative get time on center stage and become consumed in the cloud of "downers" (like the fact that I "get" to go back to work to deal with some of the stuff/people times, or that I "get" to deal with some crazy dysfunctions in others...and on and on and on.). We really have to fight that though. It's not entirely true that everything sucks (apparently...haha), so why let our minds go there?

So??? Here's to looking for a glimmer. *dreaming*

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Today's Big Parade

This great story continues today! #16 is happening right now! Great message for all!

Great Story