Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Life-Changing Sermons

One of the things I love about my summer vacation is gardening. Flowers, flowers, flowers. Enhancing my time outdoors, I love to catch up on podcasts from Bethel Church and Woodland Hills Church. (Bill Johnson and Greg Boyd always give me something to think about.) These sermons have been on replay. They've been changing my perspective greatly. 

Being Transfigured

Desire: To Despair or Really Live

My brain has been churning on the topic of desire lately. Something very beautiful about humanity actually. What would we be without our passion and longing? Less than human for sure.

We all live with some unmet desires though. And that...well, that can be a major problem. Sadly, it can be a challenge to live...truly live...with unmet desire and so we can tend to put that desire to sleep within. The tragedy, though, is that doing so puts parts of our hearts to sleep too. So sad. If we don't kill the desire, we can choose to live out of a kind of despair over the desire. Depression entwined with manipulation and manufacturing...all to force the desire. Unfortunately...it tends to create facades of living or a desperation that actually robs us of life. Life lost to despair.

Actually living...enjoying a quality of life right alongside the "realness" of unmet desire...now that's gutsy. Courageous really. Not that I'm an expert remotely, but I've found...in baby steps...that embracing the goodness of God enables such a life. I don't mean an intellectual assent to "goodness"...I mean a heart reality where we can delight in who He is as a good Father and really wrestle with our longing in His presence. We can enjoy the safety of harbor in His presence (rest, comfort, direction) and see the goodness of His gifts in His timing (living in His "now" as opposed to our sense of the immediate).

We aren't meant to live with a sleeping heart or a despairing one. That means God has actually made it possible to live fully regardless of circumstances.

It has me praying lately. I understand the longing...so sad to see people give up... :(

Friday, July 18, 2014

Anchored in His Goodness

The day of great anticipation arrived...the day to try on dresses for the December wedding. I can't tell you the anxiety I've been feeling. Tall girls have quirky bodies to slap a bunch of white on (the "big" color) and a bunch of pouf. I had no idea if they'd even be able to fit me...and these very expensive legs. ;)

Stress....oh, the stress.

But I was so challenged by a quote that came across my Facebook feed that encouraged people to be anchored in God's goodness. To not would be to lower our theology to the level of our pain or wound.

Letting ourselves be consumed by worry...needing to control as much as possible.

No trust. No relaxing into His embrace.

So, I have been trying to slow down and rest in His goodness when the anxiety strikes. It's been difficult, but it's been possible.

The dress appointment went well. It was very emotional...quite a roller coaster actually...but in the end God's goodness was dancing all over the circumstance.

He's so very faithful. :)

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Powerful Video

Wow. What a powerful video. The singer/song writer is describing her struggle with alcoholism and drug abuse...a true depiction of where the shallow, "party hard 'cause this is all we've got" focus on life can take people. A girl trapped inside a small room...a fake, performance kind of life. Amazing. And so sad.

On a happier note, the singer is now in recovery. Happy for her.