Questioning "Who" To Be

do you ever have situations where you actually wonder...and sometimes worry...about how much of yourself you can be? i guess i'm having one of those.

because of some old wounds and past boundary issues (to be honest)...i have some real reticence about being able to be myself in some situations. not all for sure...just a couple. it's a trust thing in a few of them...and if i feel that, i feel more comfortable just being myself. all of weird, little old me.

but i'm in a quandary right now.

what if you ran into an old friend...a friend that you were really good friends with at one time...but there was some stuff that happened...some good, some not so good...and it kinda shook you up. how would you be friends with that old friend?

could you be free to just be you despite what's happened? is that even possible?

and what if you aren't the same "you" that you used to be? is it even possible to break out of the definitions that may be in place from the past? is it even worth it to try?

but even more than that...what in the heck is appropriate? do you not talk that through and just let a dead horse lie? do you ask and look like a freak?

is it bad to take care of "me"? is it better to just be the friend...give no matter what you get?

see how complicated life is? AHHHHH!

My Friend Jocelyn

if it's ok, i'd like to ask anyone that reads this to pray for my friend jocelyn. she's in the hospital right now being evaluated for migraines. she's horribly afflicted with them and the doctors are stumped.

i'd just like to see her be healed!

so however the miracle comes...via medical wisdom...or god's simple touch...please help me pray for her!

and pray that she'd sense god's presence throughout this whole ordeal.

thanks!

My Multiplying Family!

every year i like to put together some cards for my nieces, nephews and little cousins for their first day of school. i just feel like there's something good...on one of the most important and terrifying days of your whole life (that year)...in opening your locker and finding that there's something in there. someone is excited that you are here!...and is praying that you have a wonderful day!

well, i think my adult relatives and siblings need to slow it down! i'm up to 9 kids this year!

thank god for wal-mart! :)

Save the...Ferret?

i just saw a breaking headline on msnbc. it said, "plague threatens last of ferrets".

"The plague, which is carried by fleas, is the biggest danger to ferrets' survival in the Conata Basin and other sites that still have ferrets, said Larson, who is coordinating ferret conservation efforts among five federal agencies.

"It has the capacity to take out more ferret habitat than anything we've run up against, and do it in such a short order," Larson said. "For ferrets, it's the most challenging issue we face."

i....well...i have no idea what to say.

but...

HAHAHAHAHAHA! (where's melonhead when you need her??)

Drunken Goat Cheese...Heh?

i'm at a party today (after a fab morning with my friends packing food boxes for 'kids against hunger'...hopefully not too ironic...but it was a great time for a great cause). anyway, this new couple just arrived...the guy just happening to have been a chef at one point.

and you know what that means???

new foods for me to try today!!!!

the first is this weirdly named cheese...drunken goat. i'm not sure if i'm ethically ok with a process that involves milking intoxicated hoofed animals...is that even ok? hahahahaha!

but the cheese is strangely...good!

so hopefully the goats are ok with all this. :)

what a freaking bizarre experience!

OH!...i should also mention that the guy has to be an identical twin to tatting...how completely strange!

i'm sure i'll have more blissful blogs about food, by the way! meyers is pulling some sort of taco-y chicken thing out of the oven as i type...and i'm thinking i'll be very pleased!

Much Thanks!

i want to thank those of you who prayed about my crazy week! there were some critical answers to prayer with the new day...almost immediately that morning. so now i feel like i can focus my attention more to the issues that are directly my responsibility.

one bummer...but blessing too...is that my temp-daughter will be moving to her host family's house on monday (assuming everything truly falls into place). she has been such a delight. it turns out that she has a secret "freak flag" just like her temp-mom (me!...hahaha). what a treasure that girlie is!

i saw another shooting star last night! that's 5 for the summer!!!! (god is so cool!) i made my wish again...still trusting...still hoping. (i can't be specific because i'm sure jiminy cricket issued some "guidelines" surrounding shooting star wishes...but it involves finding a real true heart man someday...but that's all i can say right now...possible penalties per cricket guidelines...) :)

oh well...anyway, have a great weekend! god bless!

Frustrating!

my sis just reminded me that every new day that god gives me is a gift from him to show the life of christ that's in me...that the challenges that i'll face in a day are an opportunity to display that life and allow god to move.

it's a good reminder because right now...i'm very frustrated.

i'm the kind of person that can rise to a challenge. i work pretty well in stressful situations...can be very strategic and calculating. right now, however, i feel a little angry at one of those situations...where i'm having to rise to a situation because of others' lack of follow-through, general incompetency, inconsistency, etc.

makes me feel used.

i can't figure out how much to jump in and "do" what should be other people's "do"...especially when doing that in the past hasn't actually inspired any change in the sense of responsibility. so, it's hard to know how much to compensate when you know that you'll be in the same position again in a short time.

so, i'm frustrated.

i'm not sure how to show the life of christ in this...initially, i felt i was by taking on the challenge for the interim...but today, the sense of "rights" is clouding my perspective. i consider how much jesus would have expected some accountability vs. how much he would have allowed himself to be used. it's a tough one. and to be honest...my jury is still out.

so...i guess i'll keep plugging and chugging...praying and trying to keep a positive "praise" outlook. but hopefully, i'll get some wisdom soon...

Spending 'Girl Time' with the Kid...:)

tonight, my temp-child and i are having a spa night. it's been a stressful couple of days, so it seemed appropriate to show her how to pamper herself. it's quite a stitch, i have to say. pampering in the spa sense isn't exactly cultural for her. but she's super curious...and loving it. right now, she's doing a lip mask AND satin hands. she's already done the three-step foot soak, and soon she'll be painting her nails. of course, the evening will conclude with something of the chocolate nature.

*sigh*...'tis life as it should be.

The Power of Agreements

i've been thinking about 'agreements' lately.

the context for this has been the journey that i strongly believe god has been taking me on...to not just live in the kind of faith that only resides in the mind (the "think your way to right living"/behavior mod way)...but to live from the heart...allow it to become more and more alive via great intimacy with jesus...and let that life transform and drive my mind, my will, my emotions, my actions... the intimacy with christ has been so precious and beautiful and deeper than i ever knew possible. and despite the pain that sometimes comes with a journey of the heart, more and more, i'm willing to go where he leads.

and along the way, i've run into some things that i will call 'agreements'.

satan is so smart. he's so cunning...not someone to be underestimated. and he hates you and me...despises the life that we represent...those loved and cherished by god. and i know that he has a whole host of demonic entities to do his dirty work. sometimes they are a part of the crap that happens. but....here's the thing that i've been realizing lately.

satan also needs us.

yikes, i know that sounds crazy but i've been thinking about 'authority' and how much suffering is actually unleashed on earth that is really a result of people. people "agreeing" with satan and all his lies.

think about it. he's whispering constantly..."you are ugly", "you are worthless", "you'll never measure up", "that person is different, hate them"....on and on and on. but all those messages don't mean a thing...unless we AGREE!

that's a crazy amount of authority handed over in a simple decision...to agree!

so i've been thinking about the weight of that. i wonder how much he gets done because of our agreements. our "yes" to his lies and accusations opens such tragic doors...that are meant to keep our hearts from the life they were designed to have...to keep others from life and love as well.

it's ticking me off.

so from now on, i'm starting a new discipline...i'm going to try to remember his hideous nature in those 'whispering' moments...and ask god to help me "disagree" with the accuser.

if he gives me the "you are ugly" one, i'm going to present that to god and agree with HIM...that there is divine beauty in this heart.

if he throws the "you are worthless" fastball, i'm going to give that to god too and declare that my value is securely established in HIS hands.

and on and on and on...

it's a tough thing to do sometimes, but i've got to be honest...i'm just fed up with his crap. and when i decide to be done...i'm done.

Today, I Became A Mom...

hahaha...thought that might get you! but in a way i guess it's true!

an exchange student is going to be staying with me temporarily...and today was the big day! if i made more $$, i'd totally try to keep her...might be lots of fun lessons in that whole experience!! :) thankfully, though, there's a couple that is interested in having her stay with them...so i may only be a 'mom' for a spell.

she's a sweetheart! wow, what a blessing! oh!!!...and for some reason she has a passion for sorting!...so my videos/dvds are being 'organized' as i type. :) i hope she doesn't open any of my closets...or maybe i do! ;)

it was fun getting the room ready for her! my mom came over and dusted like machine! we tossed, we rearranged...we blew up an air mattress (the bed comes tomorrow). and now my niece is helping her feel welcome...so adorable.

so...a new adventure...maybe a short one, but still a blessing in so many ways!

Do We Need More Proof Of My Bad Luck?

it is sometimes a debatable topic. my luck, that is. or lack thereof. but as of this week, i'm pretty sure that the topic can be laid to rest with a resounding..."she's got none!" this is due to several experiences with a skunk this summer. a stinky...and probably possessed...little critter...whom i refer to as "satan".

i actually showered in V8 the other night...and that's mild compared to what deb and bob had to do!

the one blessing...i must say...is that i never realized how many men i have in my life who own...guns!

we haven't caught the little bugger yet, but a trap has been set with a massive pile of hamburger to lure the little demon to it's death. oh ya...my sense of humane treatment is out the door. we'll cage the sucker and then blow him away. that decision was an easy one as soon as my body chemistry was altered due to "spray".

Hiding, Hurting, Healing

i know god has plans for where he's leading me...what he's releasing me into...but sometimes i feel like he puts me in assignments that are a little bit too "big" for me. a lady in the 'god's girl' class asked if i'd come and speak at a 'hiding, hurting, healing' group. for those who've never heard of that, it's a meeting for women who've been abused. together, they try to process their experiences and discover god in the midst of it all. it's the big time of what 'hurt' means...coupled with the big time of what 'healing' could mean.

so needless to say, i felt a little small for the task...to talk about god as our loving father...and that we can actually experience that relationship.

instead of doing a "teaching", we went with the good 'ol testimony. and surprisingly, i found that with women...we don't always need to know that someone's experience is exactly like ours or not...instead, it's more a question of whether the heart is real in it's facing of pain. from there, we can dare to ask if father god could actually help us see the real princess in there...and not the wallflower in hiding.

i have to say...being around women who've survived some of the toughest stuff there is...yet women who are looking to heal...THAT is strength. and it made me think...satan should be very afraid of that girl.

A Natural Woman

i think this song must have been written to god originally. it's been playing in my heart over and over and over again. :) and in this version, i love that it's being sung at a "divas" concert...many, many diverse powerhouses. the other cool thing is that aretha jumps from this song into what she calls "a little church time", singing about jesus! so...from my heart, this one is for the big g! :)

Trying To Measure Up...

there are times in my life when i have to deal with people who, for whatever reason, let me know pretty clearly that i am "sub-" to their sense of "excellence". and no, this isn't a "low self-esteem" reaction on my part...it's a strange but real interaction...in a couple of cases. weird, but true. and for whatever reason...usually because of a need i've had to "please" (barf!)...i've worked my @ss off to "measure up".

but you know what?

those people are never going to ask for any other side to the story. any more information. more detail. other perspectives. they are never going to allow you to fly above their ceiling or push beyond their boxes.

you know why?

in their mind...they don't need to. they actually think they are the top brass. and by the way, they also know it all.

so...stop striving to measure up to their expectations. you never will.

instead...clock out for the day. check out of that room and toss the key. take a vacation. and be fine with who you really are.

My Heart Swells...

i LOVE the olympics! i love, love, love them!

there's just something so cool about the stories, the perseverance, the commitment. i get so into it...especially if i hear their stories...the game becomes so personal.

a few that i've loved...

the south korean swimmer who won a gold. in athens...as a really young swimmer...he had a false start and was disqualified. he was so mortified that he went and hid in the bathroom for the rest of the competition that day. four years later...he took the gold. i think the first medal for korea in that sport!

phelps-y, of course. it's not so much about all of his wins. i love his story...and the people who've walked with him for so long. his mom raised him all by herself. and when he started showing signs of attention-deficit, she got him into swimming to give him something to accel at. and he did! the other cool person in his life is his coach bob who starting helping him when michael was 11. bob and his wife can't have kids...so he and michael are pretty tight. i just love it. and when phelpsy wins a race...he gets out of the water and he looks for them. he shares it with the people who've walked with him.

the sudanese-american runner. he was taken from his parents in sudan by muslim guerillas. his parents thought he was killed and had the horrible duty of making an empty grave to remember him. he thought his family had been killed too. so when he got a chance, he fled to a refugee camp in kenya. he actually said that god gave him his feet and speed so that he could escape. he was later adopted by an american couple. they helped him with his dream of running...but they also helped him return to sudan...and he found his parents ALIVE! they took him to his empty grave...and he got to announce that he wasn't dead! (now there's a sermon illustration there for sure!!!)

excited for more!

Getting Back to Living...

this is more of a rant blog today. but i guess one that is a hopeful rant in the end, if that's possible. :)

i'm just so tired of people caving to challenge...choosing the small life as opposed to rising to meet what comes. i'm tired of the pride. i'm tired of the isolation. and i'm so, so, so tired of the "doomsdayers".

and i'm not an expert on economics. and i'm certainly not belittling the struggles that we all face.

but, we need to return to living according to what's really important...

not based on fear...facts are facts. that's for sure. however, most media in this nation is totally on a hype-fest...we never hear the whole story...they spin stuff all over the place...and by the way, promoting fear jacks up ratings...duh! the bummer is...people flared up on fear tend to make really stupid choices...things that tend to build more consequences than solutions. personal experience is my proof on that. no, i'd like to start hearing some news casts that offer the facts but show some ways that people are actually DOING something about it. instead they rally the finger pointers...and we again begin the cycle of distraction from actually solving problems.

not beyond our means...the "jones's" are idiots. we don't need a jet ski just because they have one.

not for ourselves...i hate to say it but our prosperity as a nation was never meant for ourselves. we were supposed to take care of each other and even go beyond our borders. what would happen if we started to live like brothers and sisters again rather than serving our own stomachs...well, and our other parts? :) we've gotten so lost in "entitlement" that we've forgotten about our neighbors. we've become a country that is trapped in adolescence...making everything all about 'me'. it's time to mature...time to grown up.

not independent of each other...we weren't designed to be isolated from each other. we were made to be dependent...relational. we were meant to need the whole. oh my gosh, i'm not talking about being a communist! i'm talking about being true communities again. my mom told me this story about my grandpa back in the depression. he lived simply and worked hard. and when people around him started to lose their farms, he would buy them out so they could continue to live and farm there. after many years, the families would eventually move on...leaving my grandpa with tons of land...which the local town so happened to need. and that money just continues to help others. we need to commence symbiosis...

it's just that...we aren't our "provider". living in such a way makes us into "feeders", "hoarders", "takers"...AND..."victims" of the whims of selfishness. we were meant to recognize that god is our "provider"...to trust him! we were meant to be good stewards of his bountiful provisions...having dominion and responsibility and all that...but all the while remembering, honoring, and worshiping the source of it all.

what if there is more hope out there than we see on tv? what if we could return to the way of the heart...live from there...even financially? could we repent from the mistakes we've made in our own attempts to be "god" and begin to learn his ways for personal management? what if we could trust that god would meet our true and real needs...apart from what we think they are or should be?

and the watch him do his thing!!!!

because here's the thing...one of my favorite stories about jesus...talk about rising to meet the challenge! in the midst of great trouble he says...probably shouts!..."i will NOT be storm-tossed! no, instead, i will say, 'god, put your glory on display!'"

i'm interested in returning to that way!...and won't be doomsdayer anymore!

My Bro-In-Law: The Photo Artist

it's fun to have someone in the family who has creative passions. my bro-in-law dave is one of those people. he loves to capture anyone with his camera.

and while difficult sometimes, i've found it very freeing for the parts of me that have struggled wih beauty.

good for the heart...in a 'captivating' sort of way.

thanks, dave! (oh, and if you want to see more photos by him...there's a link on this blog site.)

God's Fireworks

i was bummed when i went to sleep last night because the past two nights were supposed to be the best times to view a meteor shower that tends to happen in august. well, the weather hasn't been cooperating with the view (didn't last year either). so, i didn't even set my alarm to get up in the middle of the night because i knew it'd be pointless.

but no...i guess that wasn't the plan. :)

for some weird reason i woke up at around 4am. i laid there forever trying to will myself back to sleep. i kept saying to myself, "i wonder if i should just look outside to see if there are any meteors.", but to be honest it was just too much work to reach for my glasses.

and then it came...this internal nudge..."GET UP RIGHT NOW!"

so at the crazy time of 4:42am i grabbed my glasses, felt around in the dark for something warm to wear, and headed out to my deck. and like a momentary hand-swipe in the sky, there was a peephole to the stars...and i saw...three shooting stars!

and then it stopped. (i didn't even have time to run down and get rach or call anyone who probably would have hated the wake-up call.)

so, i thanked god for letting me see something so cool...and fumbled back to bed.

do you think there are men out there like god? he shows me such cool things...it's a little romantic, to be honest. there must be somewhere. my dad would have showed me that when i was growing up...so there's some hope, right? :)

Tough Read...But Pluggin' Through

i decided to take on a challenging book. i guess for some it wouldn't be...but i really have felt like it's a book that i should explore because it'll be an irritating topic for me. :)

the funny thing is there are actually nuggets in it that are making me think. there are also parts that make me want to slap people. violence, violence...:)

here's my main gripe apart from discussion about the book. i can't stand women's books that jump off a foundation of identity that is external to the heart. i HATE when women are defined by roles, as if that is all that they are. that is not at all to say that being a wife or a mother is somehow a small thing...holy crap! whatever god calls a woman into is magical! what i'm saying is that the "who" of who we are is far deeper, vastly more wonderous, mysteriously beautiful...a heart-rooted identity. it's the place where we sit on god's lap as his precious daughter, dance with him as our knight in shining armor, and walk with him as a princess in his kingly court.

to speak from that place? that assumption?...cool! write any "niche" book you want. but please don't make the identity of a woman a small thing that fits in files and boxes. rather, let her divine identity be something that she brings to her roles, titles, assignments, relationships...whatever they may be. grrrr...jerks.

k, back to the book. one thing that has actually struck me, as opposed to making me suspicious, is the strength in sacrifice. i typically go to identifying my rights and demanding "proper" treatment...and sometimes that's called for...but i wonder about the things i miss when i don't pause to consider the alternative of surrender. what if i choose to lay down my rights sometimes? what an incredibly strong thing that can be!

so, that's got me thinking today...

Flip Switch

god has really done a great thing for me this summer in regards to my "work" or "performance" identity. in previous blogs i've referred to this pull on my heart to "remember eden"...the desire to be restored to a heart relationship with god similar to eve's in eden before sin screwed everything up...dropping all the "fig leaves" (things external to who i really am) that so easily become a false identity. it's been the classic human (actually sub-human) way of living...mechanisms to define "who we are". well, work/performance has been one of those for me for a very long time...a driving force to feel ok.

let me explain...being a teacher, a principal...any performance role has been "who i am". even in relationships, i haven't been able to feel "me" unless i've been scrambling to work really hard at it...be the hard worker...which, to be honest, got me absolutely no where. any validation in any of these situations, of course, really meant that i was "ok" in that identity. any critique??...you guessed it...end 'o the world.

so anyway, over the last several years, god has had me step back from areas where my ego really could get stroked...and from a purely professional standpoint those were good decisions. but for the identity part...holy sh#$, not remotely easy...felt like i was losing who i was. god is so faithful, though, and has been leading me into experiences and mentoring relationships that have helped me let go in so many respects. asking god to reveal anything generational, personally prideful, wound-related, personality traits, weaknesses...anything that would help me understand...and face the music.

because the "who" of who i am is purely something...other...than externals like that. and apparently god is madly in love with that girl. and i've been so delighted as he's helped me to slowly step into expressing who that gal is. a journey that will continue imperfectly for sure...but still...getting more and more naked all the time. :)

but here's the kicker that hit this summer. to be honest it's actually been a little painful. how strange that it's possible that some pains can actually be a relief at the same time as being a bit of an "ouch"! haha..oh dear. but as i've done some things this summer that i would have typically called "performancy" before...hungering for lots of identity strokes...i've instead just missed sharing my life with someone else...just simply sharing real life. and so there's a desire that's been ignited more purely...and i absolutely love that he did that. but then...the realization that the waiting must continue...frustrating.

so i don't know what he's up to. i know he's doing great things with my heart...so i'll just have to continue trusting...:)

Just a Thought...

i've had a couple odd experiences this week. there's not enough time or energy to even begin. but much of it has left me thinking...remembering actually...this:

we teach people how to treat us.

unfortunately, we don't live in the days of assumed innate worth...although that's in our future...so as we stumble along, discovering that value in ourselves...and beginning to believe it's there for others...we are in the days of "training".

Princes Familiar...A Thinker

i've not always been an 'alanis' fan because she seems so bitter sometimes. but my friend melise sent me a song by her to listen to today, and it was so powerful. so i surfed around on youtube to find others. stumbled on this one. it's one to think about...some positives, some negatives...a little provoking regardless.

no father is perfect...and it's totally possible to find restoration in the places of imperfection...which is cool since god is in that business...well, and he's desiring to father us too. my wonderings about this song aren't so much about my own dad...been there, done that. 'tis good. but maybe it'll make you stop to wonder about that for yourself. and of course, if you are a guy, it might be asking you to pause and consider the kind of 'papa' you are being for your 'princesses'...or maybe even what kind of 'prince' you are.

for me, it's got me pondering what kind of 'prince' i choose to find 'familiar'.

the lyrics are below...



Princes Familiar

Please Be Philosophical
Please Be Tapped Into Your Femininity
Please Be Able To Take The Wheel From Me
Please Be Crazy And Curious

Papa Love Your Princess
So That She Will Find Loving Princes Familiar
Papa Cry For Your Princess
So That She Will Find Gentle Princes Familiar

Please Be A Sexaholic
Please Be Unpredictably Miserable
Please Be Self Absorbed Much Not The Good Kind
Please Be Addicted To Some Substance

Papa Listen To Your Princess
So That She Will Find Attentive Princes Familiar
Papa Hear Your Princess
So That She Will Find Curious Princes Familiar

Please Be The Jerk Of My Knee
I've Fit You Always
You Finish My Sentences
I Think I Love You
What Is Your Name Again No Matter
I'm Guessing Your Thoughts Again Correctly
And I Love The WayYou Press My Buttons So Much
Sometimes I Could Strangle You

Papa Laugh With Your Princess
So That She Will Find Funny Princes Familiar
Papa Respect Your Princess
So That She Will Find Respectful Princes Familiar

Please Be Strangely Enigmatic
Please Be Just Like My

Good News...

(from an on-line devotional that i subscribe to...)

No Good Thing? 08/07/2008

“I’m just a sinner, saved by grace.” “I’m just clothes for God to put on.” “There sure isn’t any good thing in me.” It’s so common this mind-set, this idea that we are no-good wretches, ready to sin at a moment’s notice, incapable of goodness, and certainly far from any glory.

It’s also unbiblical.

The passage people think they are referring to is Romans 7:18, where Paul says, “For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing” (KJV). Notice the distinction he makes. He does not say, “There is nothing good in me. Period.” What he says is that “in my flesh dwelleth no good thing.” The flesh is the old nature, the old life, crucified with Christ. The flesh is the very thing God removed from our hearts when he circumcised them by his Spirit. In Galatians Paul goes on to explain, “Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature [the flesh] with its passions and desires” (5:24). He does not say, “I am incapable of good.” He says, “In my flesh dwelleth no good thing.” In fact, just a few moments later, he discovers that “the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death” (Rom. 8:2 NKJV).

Yes, we still battle with sin. Yes, we still have to crucify our flesh on a daily basis. “For if you live according to the flesh you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the [sinful nature], you will live” (Rom. 8:13 NKJV). We have to choose to live from the new heart, and our old nature doesn’t go down without a fight. I’ll say more about that later. For now the question on the table is: Does the Bible teach that Christians are nothing but sinners—that there is nothing good in us? The answer is no! Christ lives in you. You have a new heart. Your heart is good. That sinful nature you battle is not who you are.

(Waking the Dead , 75–76)


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i'm just so cute...

hahahahahahaha! i know it sounds weird...but every now and then i get this attack of the "girlies". i wanna wear a skirt or dress or something, and i want to wear pink lip gloss, cute ear rings, a bracelet...and of course, have pink toes.

so today was one of those. :)

man, i love being a girl...

Been Lovin' 'Sound of Music' Lately...

i usually haven't enjoyed this movie, but i've been watching it for my 'god's girl' class. anyway, i'll write more about it another time, but i thought i'd share a clip that's to a song that's about letting your guard down and being 'you'.

My Sis Tried To Kill My Dad...

i was sitting in sermon prep with ryan and tim, and my phone started to ring with a distictive song...my sister joy's tone as indicated by group 'hinder'. it was a little strange to me because she normally doesn't call at that time, but i couldn't get it at the time...hence, "silencing" the call.

well, it turns out that she was calling to tell me that she had just attempted to kill our father...with a refrigerator.

her attempt was unsuccessful thankfully...and i'm pretty sure my postition in the inheritance package is sealed. what a great sis! ;)

My Mini-Road Trip...Tar Hunt!

my pastor told me about a stretch of tar that he'd experienced recently...one that he thought i'd enjoy considering my deep passion for pavement. :) so, today i set out to find it...and boy, did i ever find it! woo-hoo!

i love tar! on the smoothest of asphalt, i feel like i'm flying...no bumps...just the wide open space in front of me.

AND...add into that, two fabo songs that came on mid-drive...'somewhere over the rainbow' by the hawaiian ukelale guy and 'rainbow connection' by kermit the frog. music made the trip a package deal!

can i just say...i love the little things! god is so cool in all the details of things...things we too often miss because we want him in the big booms instead. but for me...all that wonder becomes worship...a great moment spent with god.

yes, it's possible to find god in tar. ;)

thanks for the tip, ryan!