Nurtured Offense

I was so excited to leave 2017. Sledgehammer it. Done.

It was the year I became aware of the addiction to offense.

Look at our nation, our American church, our workplaces, our families...we seem to be passionately in love with our offenses. In fact, it seems we have loved our offenses so much that we actually nurture them rather than work through them. We have an affinity for "sides" instead of communicating towards solutions. We prefer devaluing others who we perceive as the enemy instead of standing on a virtue of honor. To suggest anything different is viewed as ignorance or any kind of "-ism" that completes our judgmental picture.

Sigh.

Don't get me wrong. It's not about never being offended. That would be quite unrealistic! Pain and suffering happen in this life. Wounds are real...those we inflict and those we receive. But we forget our most fundamental human gift...free will. Our options aren't limited in the face of offense.

All too often...and in the last year I've been very convicted of our life orientation towards it...we surrender our options to a consistent reaction of offense. And in so doing, we become "owned"...

I realize that saying we are "owned" can be offensive (ironically), but the truth is we need to see our propensity to be constantly offended for what it is. In the face of a hurt or insult, we form a judgment, and that judgment sets us on a track of nurturing and babying a cancer of the heart. It's the truth of what it is.

The implications of such a decision are devastating.

First, we live in a state of unhealed hurt, ungrieved loss, and unmanaged anger. From there we become ruled by "my perception is reality" with its knee-jerk assessments instead of allowing ourselves access to wisdom and insight. Third, we can become vulnerable to even more agreements like a victim mentality, a need to control, or an authorization to be judge and jury. What's worse is that we can even permit ourselves to sin in response to our perception of another's sin. In so doing, we allow ourselves gossip, slander, violence, division, or pride because we feel it is justified in comparison to the greatness of someone else's sin. Eek. And lastly, we can become satisfied with compromised relationship as shown in withdrawal and isolation, but all the while not understand that we are actually shackled to the one we judge. A prisoner via nurtured offense of our enemy.

All of those implications create destructive realities. Ones in which we are both vulnerable and incredibly dangerous. We can very much hinder our own destiny in dreaming God's dreams and partnering with Him for good. With nurtured offense, we will dream fear's dreams or rage's dreams...sigh. The world doesn't need more of that!

How we aren't devastated by this is beyond me. It's absolutely heart-breaking!!!

Oh how we need to be wrecked over it. In our efforts to defend our own pain, we've become destructive.

God gives us beautiful free will though. We aren't limited to the one option offense!!! We have choice...choice to not be owned by our pain, but to acknowledge the hurt and allow it to heal. We have the choice to forgive and no longer be a prisoner to the one we despise. We have the choice to have healthy boundaries without the millstones of bitterness and resentment. We have the choice to confront issues without robbing others of value. We have the choice to stand for solutions instead of sides.

It's not easy to do, but if we actually get in the game for our hearts, it's beyond worth it. And what's more is that the gift of free will isn't the grandest of God's gifts to humanity. Jesus and what He accomplished through His death and resurrection...the last stand He made in the face of eternity's worst offenses...actually empowers us to discover that healing is a reality purchased for us.

We need to do it. Oh, please God...help us do it.