I think I've put my finger on the issue. Definitely seeking God for His recommendations.
I don't have grace for the graceless (at least towards the graceless by my definition).
It has always been a stark contrast for me...noticing how I can apply grace in both perspective and approach to those who seem outside the "club" of the church (Don't get me started on the ridiculousness of the "club" mentality.) but finding it absolutely revolting to apply grace to the legalistic and judgmental "saved" ones. The anger I feel sometimes for how I feel Jesus is so misrepresented by the very ones who claim His name...oh man, it can be overwhelming. I understand that I don't always display the true heart of Jesus either, but for some reason I can extend grace to myself a bit more than to "those" others. (Wow...that's probably not cool at all. Hehe.)
Yet...the frustration is not productive. It just sits there building resentment...and a disdain for association. Yep...living in judgment of the judgmental. Sigh.
Knowing that it is true that "hurt people hurt people" doesn't always help. I'm sure it should, but it doesn't. The truth is that most legalistic and/or judgmental people face a reality of fear and shame every day. A nasty, heart-crushing prison that so strongly dictates their actions. Really tragic when you think about it...but for me, it's difficult to hold on to the sympathy in the face of their cruelty to others.
What to do. What to do.
Seemingly, this is a God-sized problem. One that our tips, tricks and self-help books can't remotely address.
Show me the way, God. Show me the way.