ok, well...i should clarify.
being his actually allows us to be quite settled and complete in the core of ourselves...the more we step towards him...the more we dance with him...the more we let him own our hearts.
the journey towards that can be VERY difficult as we untangle the "ties that bind"...but with our eyes on his, our load is lightened...we step more into who we really are.
being a disciple though...i guess that's more what i'm meaning...well, it isn't always an easy thing. ha...not exactly wrought with comfort. having to stand up for what's right, having to defend his passion for the heart...well, it often doesn't have the support or temporal rewards that we'd like. it can mean losing friends. it can mean standing alone. it can mean being persecuted. it can mean our own demise.
in our heart of hearts, we can absolutely rest in his hand, but the choice to be obedient to his way can have many external consequences.
i've had a couple of situations lately where the choice to be his disciple has caused some suffering. walking out a divinely broadened definition of love can definitely be met with hardship. but my cousin reminded me today of a conversation she had with a friend. the point was a reminder that being his has costs...in the scheme of his love, they are well worth it...but still, those costs can be full of pain.
and i'm reminded those costs are something he is well acquainted with. he fully knew what it would cost him to love me....dying on a cross...but really dying of trillions of broken hearts all at once. but he saw it to completion...had the last word...and let love be the beginning and end of the story.
so for me...rather than retreat into cowardice...which truthfully has far less drama sometimes...no, i'll run to him. in the deepest part of me, i'll sneak into his arms, hear his heartbeat, have my hope restored, find strength in him...and head back out.
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