Monday, October 22, 2012

Don't Open Something That's Closed

...or at least only open it when you are supposed to do so...

Here's what I mean...

I had a blast from the past reminder this weekend. One of those old wound sort of things. Honestly, it's something I've faced and moved through. A long time ago God helped me "go there", feel it, let it go and heal. In a sense we closed the door on that.

Now, I will's not an uncommon thing to have to do further healing on matters of the heart. Goodness, if God did all His surgery on us at once, we'd surely die!! Phew...ever the Gentleman, He brings us to healing in doses that, together, we can face. Moving toward His shalom-completion. So, when it comes up again, it's not a failure!! God may just want to further what He's started. A very good thing!

Once in a while, though...and the issue I faced...the resurfacing of pain is at our own hand. Opening a door that was meant to stay closed. Yep...this girl took an old pain, opened it up and ran with all the icky messages that the first wound told my heart. Messy stuff.

Thankfully, I woke up a bit and stopped the spiral, but I stood stunned at my willingness to launch through a door that God wasn't really leading me to open again. So...He and I had to do some "re-packing" and "closing" again last night. Sigh. He's good that way.

Perhaps it is the fear of the "new" that makes us willing to re-enter the "icky". The shitty seems familiar...hence, weirdly compared to the new frontier and all of its unknowns.

Well...rebuilding and relaunching. Bewildering but thankfully not a "last stop". :)

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