Monday, July 17, 2017

Pursuing Options...Finding Some More Jesus

It was just such an awful end to the year for my job...enough that I've been left just spinning. Still in shock from the situation...frustration with Christians...offense at such a blow to something I've poured my life into (something I believe in and know can work)...subsequent conflicted sense of personal direction... Yep, it's been so messy. thing I've realized is that my sense of God's goodness has not been shaken. If you know me at all, you know that's a breakthrough. I've been studying and meditating on the goodness of God for about a year, hoping to have the concept internalize into a heart-reality. So, the good news is that I wasn't robbed of my God-sense this time.

It has been my sense of "me" and my faith in fellow-Christians...rocked.

So, I decided to start looking for other jobs this summer. Honestly, I think I needed to do so. I've felt taken advantage of for so many years...believing in what a place does and could be can make for perfect "use and abuse" scenarios. The downside of vision. Being that my vision has been a bit more rocked, I began the hunt.

The awesome thing is that I actually have had some options!! I think I've thought myself not marketable because of being used for so long. Not true. I definitely needed to find out I can be useful elsewhere.

That said...after one particular offer, I found myself asking God if this was the open door for a major life change. Lots of internal conflict, lots of prayer, lots of advice...

I feel like God spoke!! He tends to be initially in the smaller details for me...the hints of a treasure hunt. Through a few different sources, I heard reference to 2 John in the Bible...a letter written to a lady who teaches the young. And in the words of that letter, I felt a confirmation to stay planted for now. To not move on in reaction to a mess but to steward what is left...for now. One more year of stewarding that assignment...

Jesus works with us to bring His love and His kingdom. Sometimes that means taking on the hard things...for a little while longer. What we write together for the next chapter??? will be built on a foundation of stewardship and faithfulness... I'm so in love with the potential of that...joyful and hopeful for the future.

So, I'm thanking God for walking with me through this challenging time. I have a lot more to process and bring to a place of peace, but taking the moment to pursue alternatives has led me on to even more of His "real"...that's good news.

No comments: