Sometimes we are at the mercy of another person's internal world.
Our "grids", our wounds, our beliefs or judgments (whether true or not) are the lenses through which we see people or situations. Interpreting what we see through those potentially fogged lenses, we choose how we want to speak or act.
And because of our extreme value for our respective lenses...we can actually feel penned in by how others see situations. A "no win" situation. That or we could be the one doing the penning...
Because a person's internal world is really unchangeable unless they choose a different perspective themselves, I've found it critical lately to consider how to live in the context of someone else's reality. A critical question because I've not found confrontation to elicit much change of view.
* Sometimes we just plain don't have to deal with it. I guess abandoning ship is always an option...though, for me, I struggle with that being over-used. We've tended to become a bit weak in America in over-assessing danger that requires retreat...when we could be rising to do hard things.
* We could just let their reality become our own...or at least become the dominant and ruling perspective. That, however, would be quite unsettling...as we aren't simply meant to survive life under someone else's mind-thumb. How cruel.
* Ideally, mutual parties could be open to the potential imperfections in our respective realities. Because of value for all people (and thus perspectives), we could commit to respect the internal worlds of others and then compromise. Alas, that would take very willing, non-threatened parties...
But how does one proceed in situations where personal conviction is NOT retreat but the other very much intends to have their internal world rule circumstances???
I think it's important to acknowledge the value of our own realities and not allow someone else's to internally discredit our own. I get to hold my story dear...it's my right...and I get to agree to disagree with their truth. In nurturing a healthy reality, we must be vigilant about filtering the messages of another. We can hear them, but we don't need to fully receive the fiery arrows of accusation. As such, it is absolutely appropriate to stand up for appropriate treatment. Their perspective may not change, but they will discover a boundary of how I will be treated.
In that personal validation, though...I'm realizing that we need to have an even greater value for improving our own internal world. We need to be open to adjusting perspective...healing our defaults, being broadened...so that we can have the best life experience possible. Though the other party may never adjust, I can improve my reality in the friction. A life unhindered by self-centered priorities...how fulfilling.
And I guess for me...because my internal world is ideally becoming evermore in line with the reality of the divine...it is important to center my reality in who God is and what God sees. He is the God of shalom-peace (Hebrew: wholeness, health and harmony) and has that peace as a substantive gift for my world. While the opposition may be flopping around like a fish out of water, I can be enveloped in the deep waters of His goodness...and not be rocked...and speak/act/PRAY from a place of rest.
Trying to put that into practice more...and trying to make sure my world isn't inappropriately encroaching on others...