The past few weeks have been...trying. Several friends have been suffering or experiencing crisis. I continue to have weird job issues. My house needed some major work, reminding me all over again that I'm basically poor with no hope of things changing in the near future. Some people have been spinning the drama. It's been a challenge. Ugh.
I think one of the tricky parts to this was that I couldn't really do anything to change any of it. All of my typical strategizing techniques weren't helpful for these situations. And some of them pulled on my heart MAJORLY. Seeing one of my best heart-friends suffer was unfathomably horrid. (She's better now...thank you, God!) So, you know...basically, my heart was in a vice-grip.
While it was a particular focus to try to maintain integrity (something I sometimes give up when the going gets tough), I have to say that it was very difficult to find "home"...a place of wide-open spaces to express my sorrows and frustrations. Some of my close friends were the ones struggling...so clearly I wouldn't add to that. Some were surprisingly closed or occupied with other things.
It made a girl feel pretty lonely.
BUT...God really helped me!! While it's a real gift to have people who help hold our hearts, I was reminded again that He is the source of "home". He is the wide open spaces. When people can't be there, He is! He gives us Himself before all things.
So...on the mend...with Him. There's no place like Home. ;)