Monday, February 8, 2016

So Tired of Owned Shame

Hmm...some negative encounters lately have me possible relationship actually is with some people.

I know, I know...every one of us is a wounded soul of some sort. You can't live this life and not have some sort of heart damage. But some...well, just are wounded so deeply, are completely unaware of it (or denial?), or are quite content to own their shame that they are ruled by their brokenness.

What does this mean??? It means their "grid" through which they view and analyze others and their interactions with others can be so heavily influence and skewed that relationship may be...unrealistic if not impossible.

Victim 101 always. It permits them to equate their past experiences fully with any unpleasant interaction or disagreement. Following that?...commence justified judgment and "poor me" manipulations. accountability to question whether the past is still the past and if it justifies seeing the worst in others...

I'm so sick of it. So, so sick of it.

Realizing that we can't fix what we refuse to see...doesn't have me very hopeful for any improvement.

I refuse to see the worst in others, but it's very tempting to judge in return. Going to have to maintain some self-discipline with that. I also refuse to be co-dependent, so perhaps it's a season for better boundaries and a guarded heart.

What to do...what to do...Sigh. Can't see it getting better...not before it gets worse.

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