Tuesday, April 4, 2017

I Just Don't Fit

I've always felt a bit different from the people in the various circles I inhabit. Maybe that's something everyone relates to... But lately...oh man, it's much, much, MUCH more intense.

Whether secular or religious, there just doesn't seem to be much "space" for variety of thought. There seems to be a lack of honor for the value of persons regardless of position that is feeding a divisiveness. The recognition of that increasing pride and judgment in pretty much every area has become increasingly offensive. People, in my view anyway, seeming stuck in "small".

So much internal friction...I can't find many places that feel welcoming to just "be" and "belong".

I will say...in my home with my hubs...sanctuary. We talk about everything under the sun and don't feel a pressure to have to agree on every topic. (Believe me...he puts up with a lot of "heresy" from me. Haha.) With some of my family...sanctuary. (Strong opinions, but an assumed love.) With some of my heart friends at church...sanctuary. (Wonderful dialogue because of assumed love.) But...from there??? Slim pickin's beyond that....at least, that's what it feels like.

What it is causing in me is this...I'm wrestling with where my place is or should be in the world. It has me questioning some of my relationships, my job, my involvements...lots and lots of questions. Sigh.

Wrestling, I know from so many stories and personal experiences, is always profitable. It's just that it's so very uncomfortable. And...maybe, just maybe...I also worry about what conclusions will be made.

So...here's to my relationship with the Trinity. They don't fail. Pushing through... :)

No comments: