Fun at BUDS!

one of the local churches runs a wednesday night program for kindergarten through 5th grade girls. it's called "BUDS". my friend dawn puts the curriculum together...it's masterfully done!!

well, the BUDS had spa night on wednesday. my sis and i went to help. after a devotional, there were stations for hair styles, foot soaks, hand scrubs, make-up and finger/toe nail painting. oh my gosh...what fun!

the intensity of nail polish remover was enough to roast some brain cells, but the little ladies had a blast.

one of my favorite parts was the make-up station. the devo from earlier was from ps 45:11 about how the king is "enthralled" with our beauty...and that "beauty" is so much more than "skin deep". well, the lady that ran the make-up station did a fantastic job telling the girls about how their beauty wasn't in wearing tons of make-up...all that while they were putting it on. it was so great to watch her do that.

so...go chic time!! :)

God Bless the Gift of Massage!

i just have to do a brief "ode"...

i got a massage tonight. she came right to my house...imagine that. being a person with the love language of "physical affection" yet being single in our "no touchy" culture...massage is just so good for me. such a good body image thing too...i feel like it connects me more. i'll probably know what i mean by that after some thought. :) right now though...i'm just in complete heaven. well...complete heaven with hair going in every possible direction (massage oil and liberated thick locks). HAHAHA!

god bless massage!

A Work Perk?

umm...no!

one of the responsibilities that the teachers have at my school is to check dress code. usually, that's no problem...well, that is once the kids get used to not having all their parts hanging out. ;)

one of my special responsibilities during the year, though, comes when the students' formal (prom) is on the horizon. because we can't have dresses with "issues", i GET to be the dress checker in the weeks before the event.

in other words...i get to stare at my female students' body parts. seriously!!! i don't get paid enough!!! :)

What a fun morning!!!

occasionally, i get to drive my nieces to school in the mornings. i tell them a time to be at my house in the days prior, and then they call me the night before to remind me (haha...they know me too well). i usually have a sticky note on my mirror to remind me in the mornings, so in my morning haze, i notice that, go and turn on a light, unlock the door and proceed with the "getting ready" rituals.

hannah is usually the first one there. she tries to sneak in and then scare me at the bathroom door. she doesn't know that i have a super-sonic hearing curse and usually know, but i still do my best to be absolutely terrified. it's in the "auntie" job description. jerus comes next. she's couldn't be sneaky if she tried...she begins talking probably before she's even in the door. hehe. sarah, on the otherhand, is the last and most silent. she and "morning" despise each other.

well, today, as each girl arrived, was a total blast. i was doing the hair style thing when hannah showed up. she came in the bathroom in freak-me-out fashion and then went to work finding songs on youtube on my laptop (yes, in the bathroom...what can i say? i like a good podcast or song in the morning.) jerus was next with a ton of stories about a massive variety of topics (she just tried out both sisters' retainers...much to their surprise...which made us all get a little vomit..eww!). sarah came in last with a biology book so we could go over some reading questions.

so there we were...youtubes on the left, biology on the right, talker-girl poking in on all sides...and me with the hair. loved, loved, loved it.

i need a man and some kids. looking into father-children imports...

Finally!!!

i heard this song once somewhere...and loved it!!...and then immediately forgot the tune and the words!!!! my ADD kicking in...hehe. so i've been asking god to let me hear it again because it seemed like a song that my heart could really dance in. well, i was sitting in a meeting last night at school. the youth group that uses our building on wednesday nights started singing...and was singing THE song!!!! i almost shouted for joy in the meeting...which would have been extremely inappropriate at the time (so i did my dance of joy internally!). i frantically began writing what i could hear through the wall and googled it later. pheww...i love it.

so enjoy...oh, and lyrics are below! ;)



Praise belongs to You
Let every kingdom bow
Let every ocean roar
Let every heart adore You now

Praise belongs to You
What can I do but sing
The greatest joy I've found
Is to lay a crown before my King
Before my King

I've come to worship
I've come to lift up Your name
For You deserve this
Life laid down like the one that You gave
I have but one voice
One heart and one sacrifice
So won't you take this
life laid down and be glorified
Be glorified

Praise belongs to You
Let songs and children rise
You silence all Your foes
You set Your glory in the skies

Praise belongs to you
Creation calling out
For the King to be revealed
Oh King of Heaven come down
King of Heaven come down

Cause I've come to worship
I've come to lift up Your name
For You deserve this
Life laid down like the one that You gave
I have but one voice
One heart and one sacrifice
So would you take this
life laid down and be glorified
Be glorified
Be glorified
Be glorified

I've come to worship
I've come to lift up Your name
For You deserve this
Life laid down like the one that You gave
I have but one voice
One heart and one sacrifice
So would you take this
life laid down and be glorified
Be glorified
Be glorified
Be glorified

(Be glorified) I've come to worship
(Be glorified) I've come to lift up Your name
(Be glorified) For You deserve this
Life laid down like the one that You gave
(Be glorified) I have but one voice
One heart and one sacrifice
(Be glorified) So would you take this
Life laid down and be glorified

The Predicament with Teaching Boys...

here's the problem of the day...i want my male students to reject the passivity that so entangles men in western culture today. i want them to be willing to become the strong men that they were made to be. the warriors, the defenders, the fathers, the adventurers, the lovers, the brothers...

so when i am faced with a discipline situation where the "defender" rose up in a young man but was expressed in an unwise manner, i feel a weight to tread carefully in addressing the latter while highly encouraging the former.

tough.

especially when part of me wants to say..."the next time you need to set a bully straight, make it count! put him up against the wall and give him a 'come to jesus' moment with your fist!"

alas, violence is only the answer when there are no witnesses...;)

so how to validate what's in their hearts while guiding them to appropriate expression??...man, i don't want to mess that up.

The Doggie Dream...

background info first...have you ever wanted something so badly that you were actually willing to be less of yourself to get it? you present yourself differently, you change your "likes and dislikes" to fit the plan, you strategize, you manipulate...it can go on and on (and even look good in the process!). in the end, though, that plan is ineffective...even in the attainment of the "prize"...because the real you had to be sacrificed to get it. the fake "you" gets to enjoy it???...doesn't even make sense.

well, i feel like god has been holding that up to my face in many respects lately. turns out he's always been interested in the real me...and is madly in love with that. ;) he's been giving me the strangest permissions to explore some of the things i've parted with along the way in efforts to manipulate my own plan for life. things about me that i let go of, lost or never really developed just to force my plan...or stay in hiding from his...

and i know this is a little one...but it's a strange little representation of the restoration of choice in my life. the right to "choice" that i denied so i could be an "option" to a boy. silly how we think sometimes, isn't it?

i used to enjoy little dogs. not the freaky yippers...but the little lap dogs, the one's you can snuggle and tell secrets to (like my sister's little molly...miss her). i used to really want one...until the boy that i wanted with all my heart said that he disliked them. isn't that funny? i immediately stopped the dog dream to not lose my plan. and it was probably no big deal...and why should it be?...but how funny that i was insecure enough about losing the plan that i was so willing to erase the dog notion right off the page.

i've done that with a TON of things. how utterly stupid! rooted in so much fear...

but god's so sweet! he actually nudged me a little into dog-ville this week. i actually called to adopt a sweet little girl (dog)!!! i was so nervous about it because it would have to add to my list of things that i don't want to be ashamed of about myself (things that..in my mind...intimated men about me)...the "principal" word, the "sermons" word...and now the "dog" word. hehe.

well...SCREW IT!

so i called to see if she needed me as much as i wanted her. unfortunately, she had just been adopted, so it didn't work out. but man, oh man, my soul opened wide.

i don't know...i may not end up with a dog...but i claimed a bit of me back in the risk.

THAT...felt...good!

(yes, god's hot...) :)

A Good One...

A Life Theme Song

sometimes i wish my life was a musical...because i have a list of appropriate tunes. :) yes, i have theme songs...hehe...for my life. this is one that i've had for a very long time. not that i'm into 'touched by an angel' or the scene in the clip necessarily. i just like how wynona does it.

enjoy!

And this is beauty...

if you don't want to know what real beauty is, this might fly right on by... but, if you have been puzzled by it, under the boot of the wrong definition, thinking you don't have it...this is for you!!!

beauty is simply...but amazingly...being your true self. and being ok with that girl.

not who a man needs you to be. not what friends think you should be. not what hollywood and the media display. it's being you...and being at rest in your heart with who god has made you to be.

beautiful!!!

so...my great friend jody got this in an email this morning. it was good no one was around because we were totally bawling in the office. this chic...well, you'll see...doesn't meet the "standards", but when she steps into her "self", she's overwhelming. (if you don't know the piece or want to see a pro, i'll include that link below...) watch it to the end...whoa.

so, start to assume it about yourself and others. walk in it...be free in it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yt-IBJpEMzA

"Shack" Interview

this is NOT a blog to start more controversy. i know some don't agree with this book, but i've found the relational perspective of god to be so freeing. literally freeing. i walked away from the "zeus", textbook god a long time ago and have found him to be more than i ever dreamed...more real, more adventurous, more romantic, more present. i'm ruined forever...thank god. ;)

so here's the link to the interview. skip ahead about a 1/3 of the way in (musical intro). it's well worth the whole time.

http://www.northpointministries.org/player/722player.jsp?occurrenceID=3041&mediaItemID=3385

oh! and a podcast that he refers to is included below. i think i'm going to start in on this one...

http://www.thegodjourney.com/podcast.html

77,777 and more to go!

so here's the thing. the more and more i go along in my 'hop, skip and jump" with god, the more befuddle and verclempt i become. not in a bad way at all...equivalent to being "speechless" is more what i'm getting at.

a while ago...can't even remember when...i was driving in my car and for some reason noticed my mileage. it wasn't a big deal. just a bunch of numbers. but i thought to myself that it would be fun to see my mileage with a cool pattern of numbers or all the same numbers (i'm odd. is that new info?). so i actually said in my head, "god, wouldn't it be cool to all of a sudden notice all 7's one day?". that followed by the reminder than my a.d.d. mind would probably forget about it and miss it entirely.

well, god and i have been fighting lately. ok, maybe me more than him. i've been telling him what i think about some of his choices or non-choices lately. knock down, drag out war.

and then, of course, i feel horrible that i've been so mean to him so i sit down and just plain apologize and try to explain my broken heart on some matters...which he knows because he knows all these things...but, man, it feels good to just tell him sometimes.

oh my...rambling. oops.

well, in my frustration yet open communication with him, i stumbled on "77,777" on my mileage. i literally hadn't looked at my mileage since the original "i wonder" thought, but yesterday, he got me to notice.

my heart smiled...and i literally felt like i was feeling his smile too.

so i giggled. :)

and then i told him he was amazing.

i know we are still wrestling some issues out...but he just keeps me spinning (in a very good way).

i literally feel like the opening scene in 'p.s. i love you' sometimes. arguing, arguing, arguing...storming out. re-entry. "are you done yet, love?" god is my hottie, irish man. ;)

so....77,777 miles and more to go. up's and down's...but with him all the way.

Never let it be just...

how to say it...hmm.

so many people in christianity view this wonderful resurrection sunday as a celebration of the "get out of hell free" card. so, so many. and while i'm sure that's one of the wonderful "benefits" of what christ did on the cross for us all, it's never been "just" that. never, never, ever...

and yet i think that many "saved" people live with that as their faith reality...and subsequently, it's the "good news" that they share with anyone that doesn't know it.

but i guess what i'm trying to say is that it doesn't have to be just that. man, that's not just good news...that's really great news!!!! there's sooooooo much more...so much more life. so much more love. so much more "real" for you and "deep" for you. true life, healing, intimate relationship, adventure, real becoming...

resurrection is about so much more than hell...never let it be just that.

Tunes...

i was thinking about playing the piano this morning. i used to LOVE chording different songs that my mom had music sheets for. the one below, i used to play CONSTANTLY. that and 'climb every mountain' (sound of music fame). i'm shocked with how much mom, dad and joy put up with.

What to do with the "crew"...

i don't know if you can identify. every now and then, in different circles and settings, i encounter groups of people who pretty much do everything together. i don't know if i'd go so far to say "clique", although some can be like that, but maybe "crew" fits better. a group of people who just do life together...probably have common opinions, beliefs, or gripes about things...and just are committed to their group.

not necessarily a bad thing at all. i'd guess that many of us have circles like that.

well, i run into this every now and then at work. i'm super glad that they all have each other, that they have fun together, that they have so much in common, etc. and i'm not wishing i could be a member and i'm not jealous at all...it's just that it gets awkward sometimes being around it.

not awkward because of me...but because of them.

* conversations that stop upon entering a room.
* uncomfortable "out of place" feeling at lunch tables, functions, etc.

it used to drive two of my friends insane, but i think there was a rejection deal that was a part of that. or maybe something legitimate. beats me.

it just was "awkward" again today, and i noticed it. so it just made me wonder what to do in those situations. i mean, is it bad to keep sitting there when no talking is going on because you've entered? is it wrong to try to be friends with a "crew" in a way that doesn't make them suspicious that you want "in"?

it's just that...i think it's totally ok to have things discussed and planned around people that aren't invited. in fact, the awkward silences on their part make things more bizarre than the discussion itself would. and not as a reflection of the non-crew individual at all, the awkward silences and "out of place" vibe actually make groups seem more exclusionary than a legit "you can't come" convo. you know what i mean?

hmm...just odd is all.

Another "Junior High Boy" Story

i've written about my students before...the junior high boy sagas. yep, i have another one. :)

one of my students was bound and determined to get me for april fool's this year. he kept coming in to tell me that he had a really big plan and that it was going to get me really good. he didn't really get my joke when he asked me when, exactly, april fool's day was (i told him it was in a couple weeks...hehe). so, on april 1st he was a little surprised at the april fools-ing going on around him. (what can i say? i thought he knew i was joking!!! hahahaha!)

so, on friday, he came into my office to tell me that today was the new april fool's day, that he'd already placed the surprise, and that i was going to love it. (oh dear...that could be "if-y")

and i promptly forgot until jody reminded me on the way out for the weekend. mark had an idea that it involved my car (i'm guessing the student shared his awesome plan with him.), so we headed out to look right away.

bullet hole stickers!!! HAHAHA!

i perhaps need to be placing this in an incident report for future reference. ;)

so, on monday i'll have to be all concerned that my car was vandalized so that he can feel all "i fooled you!" inside...and, of course, i will.

junior high boys are seriously a trip...

Back Seat Time

i had to run into town today after church to pick up some cards for the family birthday celebration. my sweet 4-yr-old niece came along to help me shop...yes, sometimes i need "help". :) on our way home she was navigating the ipod to pick our songs for us to enjoy. when we pulled into the driveway, though, she wasn't sure we'd had enough time in the car. she said, "auntie, let's listen to music some more." so, i hopped out of the front seat and joined her in the back. we had "girl talk" and listened to her favorite tunes.

being an "auntie" is the BEST blessing!!

Sissy's Upgrading...

i love when anyone in my family "upgrades" their technology. yes, i'm happy for them, of course, but i must admit that i also love it because i get to be the receiver of the older versions. :) so, much happiness for my sis on her techno upgrade...hehe. it was the least i could do in helping her offload the old stuff.

woo-hoo!!

Swans!!

i've never seen a swan before. pictures...check. stories...check. but a real one???...never. well, i was on my way to work this morning...driving like a bat outta hell...and came upon a these near-by ponds. i was absolutely shocked to be staring at two pure-white birds swimming around. swans!!! so i called my bro-in-law and reported a possible sighting (swans or albino geese...hehe) and he went to check (see link below!!). trumpeter swans!!! god is so cool...that was something on my list of things to see/experience/explore!!!

http://morlockphotoaday.blogspot.com/2009/04/april-3-shooting-swans.html