Missing Him

First things first. This is not a blog from a desperate girl. If you know me well, you know I've made the long journey from being a girl who needs a man to a girl who wants a man. Two entirely different ways to live. I have a very specific man in mind too. No, it's not a ridiculous shopping list of "must love dogs", etc. Most simply, it is this...I want a heart-man...but that's for another blog. In the time that I still have in waiting for him, I keep moving down my "becoming" path (dreaming and growing), hoping he's doing well on his way to me and praying for the desires of his heart.

Most of the time I do okay with all this...

...but when I step into loss, I miss him. Yep, I miss him without even knowing him.

My family is experiencing a great deal of pain with the loss of little Ben. There's a funeral on Tuesday, and I know that is going to be very sad. Sorrow for their loss. Sorrow for feeling some of their pain. And you know what I wish???...I wish I had my Mr. Him with me just to hold my hand. Pretty simple...and pretty frustrating.

I have my hottie-God though. In the past He's sung to me in great sadness. He's lit up the night-sky with beautiful colors. He's surrounded me with the scent of roses. I know He'll be with me. Of that I'm sure.

But, you know...sometimes it just feels sad missing the other him.