Love you Long Time and Whenever

I do have to say...I really love the Black Eyed Peas sometimes. They come up with some "different" sounds. Here are some new ones.

The Girlie Desires

I'm sure I'm flying my "Freak Flag" (reference to movie 'The Family Stone')...well, that or my girlie side...but I just have to share something that is my dream.

I'm pretty sure it's clear from my other blogs that I'm a "heart" girl. I think it's the deepest and most precious treasure in a person. It's also the most scary thing to reveal to someone else...but the greatest at the same time. It's the real YOU. Well, it's my dream to have someone someday actually want to get to know me...actually want to pursue me...and delight in that. It's what I want to do for Mr. Right too. Absolutely nothing would get in the way of that...well, except my experience of that with God...but that alone only makes my relationships better.

So, there you have it. Wearing my heart on my sleeve tonight. :)

People Bring Out Your Patterns

I heard someone say that people bring out our patterns...revealing our "grid", pushing our buttons, accessing our wounds. While frustrating sometimes, I guess it really is a gift. Why in the world do I say that??...God never wants to leave us in positions that are "less" than who we are meant to be.

I'm experiencing that a bit lately. While I'm not sure whether/if I'll be staying involved, I must say that God's been using the situation to push on some things that He clearly doesn't think I need anymore. Challenging...but so good for this heart. Opportunities to deepen abound.

Food for Thought

Manipulated

I don't like finding out that one of my friends is being manipulated. I have one in a situation like that right now. People in unhealthy situations tend to put descriptors on their feelings (usually blame-oriented) that aren't entirely accurate. Things they are experiencing that are more the consequence of an unhealthy action, but because of their need for the disfunction, they will only name it with titles that reinforce their unhealthiness. I find it very difficult to be sensitive to the sadness they must be experiencing...especially when it is directly manipulating someone I love. FRUSTRATING! God, give me your perspective...because I want to open a can...

Thankful

I've been thinking about what I'm thankful for this year. Of course, I always start with the blessing of my family and friends. I have nieces and nephews coming out my ears, and each one brings such joy to my life. I have friends that are "closer than a brother". Without a doubt they have my back AND challenge me when I'm off. True friendship! The other thing that I have to say I'm thankful for this year is a plethora of experiences that pushed me "outside the box". My perspective was broadened, more fears were challenged (and defeated), and I made so many new friends and networking connections. Great lessons all around! :)

Come What May

Well...hehe...if you've read my blog long enough, you know that God and I have an "interesting" relationship. ;) I actually love it because it's probably the most real thing in my whole life...far beyond doctrine for me. I've learned over the years to listen to my heart's songs...especially in the morning as I'm first waking up. I think it's so much clearer then because my mind is still a bit foggy allowing my heart to have center stage. The songs I hear from my inside are sometimes the songs from God's heart to me, and others are from my heart to His. I love it. Well, this week I woke up to a strange one. It was a signature song for a movie that I didn't particularly enjoy, but the main love song was pretty powerful. I kept hearing, "I will love you until the end of time. Come what may." I 'youtubed' it later and was so moved. My God's love is overflowing. :)

My Feelings About The Weekend

Uh-oh

My students often tell me...well, everything...HAHA!...more than I want to know usually. ;) It is an interesting peep-hole into the home, I must say (taken with a grain of salt, of course...hey, if you'll believe half of what you hear about me, i'll do the same for what i hear about you...hehe). One that made me a bit frustrated the other day...still has me thinking...is a situation where the parents, in going "to bat" for their kid, actually communicated a great deal of disrespect for another adult. The kid now feels a sense of justified bitterness and proceeds to bad-mouth the individual at will.

Not cool.

Man, that could have been handled in a far more mature fashion. They could have defended their child without feeding an atmosphere of disrespect. Guess what???...that will come back in the parents direction most definitely some day (if not already).

*sigh*...the things we teach our kids that we probably didn't intend...

Biggest Loser - Makeover Week

I love when the competitors on Biggest Loser make it to Makeover Week. I love watching them get to celebrate the new "you", but my all-time favorite part about it is that they get to be reunited with loved ones. I...cry...like...a...baby! It's a great stop along the way of an intensely difficult journey. Love it!!!

Biggest Loser - Makeover Week

Science Brought Me Back...

It's ironic really since so many people who choose to not believe in God actually use "science" as the reason to not, but I was reminded today that it was actually "science" that brought me back to God. A silly thing...a massive reaction that occurs in the body to produce energy in a usable form...I stared at it written out with all of it's steps and sub-steps and literally cried. Haha! I knew that I was staring at a fingerprint of God in the human body. Anyway, I was talking about cellular respiration with my biology class today and was reminded of the moment. It's good to always keep "wonder" with you as you go through the day...it's amazing what you'll see that you couldn't before. :)

Giving Them Opportunities

I've had a couple of irritating situations this week. I know it stems from different perspectives on older children...well, and some control-freak-ism (that's a new term I've developed). It's just that I like to give my older students opportunities to demonstrate responsibility and see my confidence in them to do so. We are releasing them into adulthood after all. Within reason, of course, I think it's a good challenge for them. Other adults seem to really struggle with that notion though. I don't know if it's more of an elementary mindset or a need to be in control. Regardless, it bugs me. :) I so wish I could have the secondary kids in another facility sometimes. Way less drama...guaranteed.

Projects Accomplished!!

Oh man!!!...I have such a great sense of accomplishment right now! I was able to get so much done this weekend in preparation for winter! I had help from wonderful friends and family too. Can't go wrong!!

Stranger Than Fiction

Student Giggles

I literally get the giggles watching/listening to my students sometimes. They do some of the weirdest things!!! HAHA!

Of course, I'm assuming I was never this way...umm...

Devo from Pastor Ryan...Love it!

Manna 11.15.2010 “Seeking the Lord”

Proverbs 6:1-5
“1 My son, if you receive my words, And treasure my commands within you,

2 So that you incline your ear to wisdom, And apply your heart to understanding;

3 Yes, if you cry out for discernment, And lift up your voice for understanding,

4 If you seek her as silver, And search for her as for hidden treasures;

5 Then you will understand the fear of the LORD, And find the knowledge of God.”

***Seeking the Lord is no small thing. Our God is not a small God, and service to Him is not a flippant or sloppy pursuit. Listen to the way this Proverb describes the attitude one will have who is seeking Him: receive my words… treasure my commands… incline your ear… apply your heart… cry out… lift up your voice… seek and search as for hidden treasure.”

Have you ever seen a desperate man? Have you ever witnessed a man who has resolved to go after something, and will not give up until it is accomplished? In a culture where just about every want can be satisfied with the click of a mouse, it is hard to find men who have learned the journey of seeking and pursuing. In addition, impatience is in epidemic proportions in our country, leaving us crippled, defeated and distracted when we don’t have an immediate answer to our plight.

On a bad day, our vision for life is too small, our view of God is feeble, and our desire for fellow mankind is shallow. If we have low expectations, settling into complacency and mediocrity is a natural next step. Oh that God would ignite in us a true vision of his intention! Oh that our desires would not be so small! May God have mercy on our faint hearts and small minds, and give us the grace to seek Him the way He deserves, that He may be found and experienced.

Gone in the Morning

This song played at the end of a movie I saw last night. I think it's very sweet! He's singing about how much he loves his dreams and wonders why they have to be gone when he wakes up. I do too!..Haha! But don't worry! I'm working on a way to make dreams a reality. :)

The Need We Reveal...

I wish we could stop and consider the wound that is revealed in some of our moments of angst. Wounds that are legitimate, of course, but not meant to be fed in our relationships and endeavors. The fact that we attempt to do so explains a ton of the frustration we experience when people or things don't go our way. Those things sometimes aid in the healing, but they are always meant to be the lesser contribution to the repair. The core of a need is meant to be filled with an intimacy with God. This frees us to be able to bring life to our relationships or goals...rather than require more of them than appropriate.

Here's an example. I knew a guy when I worked in the cities who had a tremendous wound of rejection. Because it continued to go un-healed...untouched by a good heavenly Father...he turned all of his relationships (unconsciously) into a wound-feeding frenzie. Not that they were aware, but naturally people didn't stick around because they were more a "remedy" than a real person. This created a self-fulfilling prophecy to the rejection wound, reinforcing that he was "rejectable". Not the friends' fault at all...just the natural outcome of an unhealed wound.

What if we opened our eyes to the notion that something internal may be fueling the pain in our lives? Not always, granted...but sometimes???...it's the trigger. Such great hope, I think...when we choose to let God touch those places...if only we'd consider...

Feminists for Life Info

Looks like there is more success every day in starting up pro-life/pro-woman chapters on college campuses. So great to educate young women who may be driven to abort out of fear that there are resources and options available. The FULL gamut of information!!

Great Info

Women's Retreat Fun...and Craziness!!

:)

The retreat this weekend was GREAT! Wonderful ladies, great worship and sharing, yummy food, fabulous facility! Makings for a great time!

Of course, there was also the snow storm. Ummm...like 10 inches??? Haha! It was enough snow that we actually lost electricity for 15+hours. Thank God for fireplaces!!! Needless to say, though, a group of women utilizing a facility by candlelight...with no running water...was...interesting. ;) Having no oven also made meals a challenge. We made the best of it though, and it was a wonderful time!

I'd do that again any day!

David Crowder - Shine...creative video!

Eden

WOW!!!! I am so amazed! A new friend from the retreat sent me on a hunt for this song. It's so great!...totally sums up my heart for God. It's not new news that I'm Eden-obsessed...utterly convinced that the cross is our gate and invitation back to Eden's heart. LOVE IT! So...here I am...summed up! :)

The Pursuer

Well...I had a wonderful experience this weekend at the women's retreat. Ha...I actually had many, but those are for future posts. ;) My own heart has been battling an issue a bit. I've been crying to God about it, hoping he would do something, but it's been frustrating. I ended up at a lunch table with a lady that I've known for years without really knowing her, and I had the fortunate experience of hearing a bit of her story. If only she knew the part of my heart that she was speaking to. I was so touched by her honesty. She had been in a previous relationship that was marked by a ton of dysfunction...not a safe place for her heart in the least. That ended...and she had to go through the tough stuff of seperation. Well...God had a marvelous story for her...life was still left to be lived. After years of a relationship that didn't honor her heart and as a beautiful 40-something gal, she experienced pursuit for the FIRST TIME...and continues to...from a wonderful God-loving man. Well, it's one of my deepest desires, and she spoke right to it. God is so good! :)

Off to the women's retreat

Well, here we go! I'm off to help speak at a women's retreat in Wisconsin. Should be a blast! I'm excited for what God is going to do! It's been a really frustrating week for me, so I feel a bit depleted going into the teachings...but, what do I know about God??...That's his perfect opportunity to do His thing. ;)

My Parents

...are basically the most amazing people I know. :) I got home yesterday to a far less full garage. They'd been busy bees taking things that I needed to get rid of to the dump. I...was...shocked...by how amazing it all looks. Should I tell them that I just plan to fill it with more things??? Hehe. Juuuuust kidding!

"Abba's Child"

Great book by Brennan Manning. Steph and I started reading it together. It has me considering an awful lot...good but tough. Haha!...seems to be something God is interested in me exploring!!

G. W.'s Interview

It's not new news that I love this guy. LOVE him! I'd, in fact, so love to have dinner with Laura and him. :) I've been wondering how he's been doing since the completion of his terms. He's been pretty silent....I hope for some much needed rest!!!

One of the things that's a little irritating is all of the criticism he has taken. The average person, assuming they had all the information and insight into situations that he had (ridiculous), evaluates his decisions as if they could easily do the job from their kitchen table. Truly?...Probably only his inner circle would be equipped to make such critiques. So insulting. Probably how the new guy feels sometimes. ;) Anyway, no one's perfect, and he certainly made his fair share of mistakes. Who, as a President, is unique in that?? Certainly Obama-licious has made his colossal marks already...Yikes. ;) But...as soon as we work out the kinks of our entire culture and get everyone back on board with "love your neighbor", we'll have everything worked out. Yep...it's THAT easy. ;)

Anyway, I really respect G.W.'s honesty. What a good heart. What a good man. :)

Pres Bush Interview

What the "Rule" Reveals...

Yep...another vent. :)

Everyone knows I work in a school. Private one. Well, we have a dress code...which, of course, is the focus of unbelievable amounts of drama by just a few students (challengers) and a few parents. If only they realized what the stupid "battle" reveals...about them. Of course, why would we EVER challenge the kid that just seems to push the limits constantly?? The answer??...BECAUSE they push the limits CONSTANTLY, and no one wants to call a spade a spade.I actually have some parents who have a vendetta against other people's kids because they want to be sure that their kid isn't the only one getting addressed. Kinda cruel really. I have others who freak out when their kid gets in trouble because it somehow means they are a bad parent. Not true! Who would even think so? So frustrating.  Not addressing things?...Not a very good sign of so many things that I'd think would be important to a parent. Think about the future, people???...not the future of what they will wear...the future of WHO they will be until they have just the right amount of Hard Knocks. Insecure at minimum...Sad. (Some have their whole identity wrapped up in what they wear.) Disrespectful and self-focused...Tragic. (Some will never be taken seriously by a boss, etc.) Rebellious...Don't get me started...

The suggested answer???...have MORE rules. Yep, let's punish the majority of the others who humbly respect the requests of their authority with a sizable dose of legalism.

Barf.

On "Bowling"...Hehe!

Snap-a-licious

I have now kicked my own butt several days in a row at Snap Fitness! I'm exhausted, but I feel great! I've also reduced the carbs in my life by a ton, and I'm starting to have the sugar "fog" clear. Feeling better and better each day. Granted, I was massively crabby this morning...probably just withdrawal. ;)

The biggest bang for my buck...the elliptical. It's a whole-body cardio workout. That followed by some weights. Woo-hoo!

Time's Ticking...

Well...I'm almost there. I'm hoping for the 11th hour surprise, but I'm preparing for what things seem to indicate. I think life is just so busy for some, and that makes it hard for people to be a priority...so...*sigh* because I'm not made for the backseat, I think the time is nearing... Hope not, but you know...

Oh Dear

I had a conversation this week with a man regarding his wife where he actually used the word "control". I...have no comment.

What to do with all my squash??

Oh..My...Gosh! I just tried this (with some modifications), and I LOVE it! I didn't have blue cheese so I used sharp cheddar. I'm also not a huge bread fan for recipes unless it's stuffing, so I used as little as possible. I'm...in...heaven.

Butternut Squash Bake

The Drummer

I'm STILL in shock/awe over a crazy band experience that I had last week. The band had a drummer that was...something else. I 'youtubed' them...check this out. My fav has to be around 2:00 mins+...

Chip's Speech

How weird is this? I was a delegate at his endorsing convention. I, of course, had no idea what was going on...HAHA! Uneducated...new to the process. I just knew that I really admired him and his thoughts on matters. Months later???...He's in!!! Go Chip!!

Chip's Acceptance Speech

Interesting Article

Boyd article

Over...or Not?

This has certainly been an interesting season. Oh, I should preface that I'm being so overly cryptic in this blog, so don't worry about trying to figure it out. The situation probably isn't what people are thinking I'm talking about. Pheww...that was complicated! :)

It is certainly interesting...and difficult...to be in a situation where a lot is assumed without any contribution of your own but you still have to bear the consequences of everyone's assumptions. That's been my lot lately. I have had to bear the consequences for the pushings of others. I've done my best to not be inappropriate, but that has meant that choosing the "smile" and the "silence" has been pretty painful at times. It just seemed the only way to be honoring without completely bailing on the moment. Why not bail?...because I actually have some interest involved in the situation.

Right now, though, I feel sort of sad about all of my "appropriateness". Not that it should be about me in the least. Just...you know...sometimes I hope there will be light shown on the situation in a way that let's me be revealed for my actual position in the situation...for the fact that I wasn't the start of any of the drama...even though I've had to take the heat, the distance, the embarassment at times, etc. Saying that feels a little selfish, I guess...but it could be possible that there's an ounce of standing up for myself a bit.

I don't know...I guess there are things that we address and others where we have to trust God and the goodness in the hearts of people...tough for me because sometimes it feels like the trusting paints me the fool.

So...the question...is it over? At minimum, hopefully the drama is...for some reason I have hopes that the limit in the drama might actually allow for some knowing...don't know though. Crossing fingers.. ;)

Tell Me Something Good

HAHA! I saw this song performed on Glee and laughed!! Plus...it's a fun song!Yowza! Probably not for the kiddos...;)

Snap It Is

Well...the party's over. Actually...it's just on it's way, I guess. I'm back at Snap for my workouts. I love the outdoors so much that I can't justify it for myself during the months with nice weather. Now that everything is brown and crusty???...back to it! One nice thing is that a lot of my friends go, so I don't have to workout in that awkward silence...alone with my thoughts. ;)

Party, Party, Party

The polls close at 8pm...and that's when the party starts!! Hopefully, it will be a celebration of some victories...but either way, it'll definitely be a celebration of a campaign well run!! I actually was able to help with one that was soooo respectful! No trash-talk! No shady tactics! All because of the candidate...he's honorable like that.

Yep...it's possible.

Why I Vote the Way I Do

Basically, here's my deal...and yes, I understand and respect that we all think differently...I tend to vote in a "conservative" direction. A lot of "Republican" going around in my head. BUT...I'm not that way simply because I like elephants more than donkeys or because that's my family norm. I actually have personally "owned" thoughts on the matter. Shocking...

#1 for me this year has to do with "loving my neighbor". I do NOT think that some system should be loving my neighbor for me. I think that's a sad commentary on society when we have to rely on institutions and guidelines to take care of our fellow man. I think that is living less than human. So, with a heart-felt understanding that I/We need to step it up, I will NOT vote for "more" of someone else doing it for me.

#2 for me is that it is time to take some responsibility for our society's endorsement of the entitlement mentality that always pushes off the consequences until later and onto someone else's plate. Well, there aren't any more "plates"!!! There is no future without fiscal responsibility.

AND...I believe it's possible to be responsible with pocketbooks and neighbors all at the same time.

#3 for me is the pro-life issue. Consistent with my #1, I do not feel that a "right" solves the core problem. When 70% of women who choose an abortion are doing so because of fear of lack of support/resources RATHER than a conviction that they have a right to do so, I have to wonder if our national "solution" is really the appropriate answer. It seems more like an "out" for everyone with some pretty serious consequences all around. In being a good neighbor, I'll be a part of the support and resources.

So...that's my logic. Take it or leave it. :)

Judges

I've been getting a lot of questions about voting for judges in the election tomorrow. There tend to be tons of names with little knowledge of who they are. I only know the conservative names off the top of my head because I swing that way. Here goes...

Supreme: Wersal and Tinglestad
Appelet: Griffith
District 10: Penwell