Sunday, November 4, 2012

The Single Problem

Sometimes I wish I could explain to the "church" [universal] how much they don't understand and thus serve the single crowd that occupies seats in congregations. Marriage/family is treated as the "yes, you have arrived" level of life. Beyond a beautiful arrangement experienced by some, it has become an idol. Try even challenging it a bit (especially in this political season), and you'll get your hand slapped for messing with the cookie jar.

Single people in this system are the wallflowers...pitied by some for "missing out", feared by others for choosing something different than the "married way". I've actually had people spiritualize lack of marital bliss by explaining (in true formula-fashion) "if you'd just let go of wanting to get married, God will give you your significant other"....because being single, obviously, we are doing something wrong to create the lack. Ironic "idol" psychology. Sigh. I've had others pull away from me a bit, acknowledging subtly that I'm their worst nightmare for their daughters because instead of a Mr. Right (at the moment) I have...dare I say...personal goals and dreams. Shriek.

Women's ministries are set up to support motherhood and the wife-life. They celebrate weddings and births. That's about it, though, as if these are the only things to mentor and celebrate in women's lives. Now, don't freak out...these are valid and wonderful aspects of womanhood...but when did these become IT???

It makes me crazy.

To elevate marriage to such a state puts people in boxes. Definitions that keep us from true identity. We are NOT our roles, relationships and responsibilities. We are what we BRING to our roles, relationships and responsibilities...WHATEVER THAT LOOKS LIKE. That, my friends, puts ALL of us on the same playing field.

Besides...aren't we FIRST God's child and the bride of Christ?...seems like more of a place to start defining "quality of life"...but I digress. ;)


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