Healing Begins

Billy the Exterminator

So I stumbled across this show on hulu.com. It's freaking gross!! However, I find it comforting that the pests always get caught. ;) One thing I have to say...umm, as a biology teacher, I realize that I'm supposed to agree with their "save the pest but remove the pest" mentality...but as a home owner??? KILL! Eh-hem...anyhoo...I digress...

Billy the Exterminator

How Do You Carry The Glory?

There's always been a story (one of many) in the Bible that has puzzled me. The one about the man back in the David days who sees the Ark of the Covenant falling. He reaches out to stabilize it...meaning that he'd actually touch it...and God strikes him dead. I mean seriously!!...He's trying to help!! So, I've just always had that one on my list of things to ask God about when I get to heaven. :) Well, I heard an interesting take on that story the other day when I was listening to the Daily Audio Bible on iTunes. See, there were actually instructions about how to carry the Ark that David was not following at the time of the incident. David had it propped up on an ox cart...the directions required carrying with poles held by the priests of Levi. A little detail, I know, but actually one that translates into a big deal. In essence, there was a disregard for how the glory was carried.

Well, today, we understand that the presence of God is no longer contained in a structure (ark, temple, etc). It's in you and me. So, it begs the question...How do you carry the glory?

Gattaca

Boy, did I find this movie fascinating when it first came out. It presents the idea of a world that could genetically select children.

Gattaca

Bridge Over Troubled Waters

Teacher Woes

August is one of my most frustrating months in terms of my job. Note that we don't actually have kiddos until September. You know what makes it so hectic? Apart from finding out all of the last minute changes to my job description and the infamous communication struggle...it's the teachers. I think, because of their own stress and anxiety in anticipation of and preparation for the new school year, they are sooooo difficult to work with. Some get very inflexible...dig in their heels. Others get negative. Others...needy. It's one of my biggest prayer challenges. If you know me well, you know that I would struggle with not biting heads off...hehe. But, I have to say...God actually does work things out behind the scenes if we let Him. I had one situation this week that was going to build to an icky confrontation, but God just rested that heart right down and the gears clicked there.

One down...pheww! (Hopefully not too many more to go...) ;)

And honestly...all of the drama reminds me that I do work with some teachers that are absolute gems...who are so flexible, who roll with the punches, who offer great ideas...silver lining!!

Where Do They Get Off??

Umm...I'm trying to figure out how some people permit themselves to move from the place of disagreement/frustration to prejudice?

Examples of people who are convenient targets:
People who are Mexican; those who live in the inner city; people who are homosexual; those who are Muslim...etc.

Not cool.

The Legalists

I get a little worried when I meet parents that are so determined that their kids NEVER experience anything that could challenge their faith...at least "faith" in their eyes. Misbehavior clearly equates with a lack of faith for them. They are the legalists. Example: They need their kids to never see anyone who is out of dress code...because that could rock the boat and send their child into a life of "sin". Oh man...there's a part of me that wants to screw with that BIG TIME...but then I also have to be professional, take on their kids, and do the best we can to educate them. The run-in's I anticipate??...good grief...should be super fun. Barf!

Usually, these are parents that feel they have a "past"...and I do have great respect for their journey home. But, I wish they could see that, in a full pendulum-swing reaction, they seek to remove any challenge...making the lesser things the reason for their rebellion. I'm a "root" person...I like to think my sin is because of something deeper than "the cheesecake made me do it".

Should be interesting...

Why the Bible is a Tough Read for Americans

Interesting one that I stumbled across on twitter. He's the author of the books "Blue Like Jazz" and "Searching for God Knows What".

Don Miller's Blog

Oldie but Goodie

That Don't Impress Me Much

I've always enjoyed this Shania song. I wish I could use it with some of my kids at school, but alas, her outfit is a bit...umm...not school-worthy. ;) It just gets so frustrating how much immature perspectives on relationships set up men and women to think that what we should be looking for in the other is "brains", "money/car", "looks"...when, as she says, "that won't keep me warm in the middle of the night". It's really about the deeper things, isn't it? Yep!

Vulnerability...SUCKS!

Haha! I'm just saying...it's so hard to be vulnerable sometimes. Of course, it's not true vulnerability if you also have any idea what the outcome is going to be. Completely wide open...no promise of results...yep, that's vulnerablilty. AHHH! But, you know what I think is also true of the terrible concept??...it's a real piece of beauty...and a contribution to "no regrets".

Still sucks...but I guess it's a necessary evil.

Officially "Sarah"

I was with a friend of mine the other morning, and she was talking about how she relates to some movie/tv characters. They remind her of things in herself. So, I decided to think about chics in flicks that I have related to...a kind of Hollywood clip collage of aspects of my personality. I found a few...which hopefully doesn't also indicate a multiple personality thing...HAHA! :)

A little bit "Kathleen Kelly"...

You've Got Mail

A little bit "Jilian"...


A little bit "Ally McBeal"...


A little bit "Eleanor"...




A little bit "Beatrix"...

Workout Song...HAHA!

When I'm working out???...ya, this song gets me really worked up! HAHAHA! I think there's a little of this in "Sarah". ;)

I'm With You

My friend posted this for me. She's a sweety! :) And I had no idea she was an Avril fan??

Slimy Men

Ladies, you know what I'm talking about!! I've had to go to a lot of events lately where I meet a lot of great people. Most of the time, it's just been a fun pleasure to broaden the circle. Sometimes, though, I have the great misfortune of meeting...drum roll...the slimy men. Ya, I met one the other night who really had the role down.

Number 1...the glassy eyes. Seriously, there is this look in the eyes of men that have spent 1 too many a day looking at porn. Their eye "movements" also betray...enough details there. The thing is...the way they do it isn't flattering in the least. It's demeaning.

Number 2...the shmooze. They do this sauntering that says they think they are a crazy big deal...but by "big deal" they mean "one night stand". They make sure you have everything you need and more...but not because they care...more because it lets them parade around like a peacock floofing the feathers. Mm-hmm...no.

Number 3...the lingo. They go on...and on...and on...about themselves. Oh...and never try to know you. They share the conquests, the trophies, the collections...like it's peanut butter on the mouse trap.

If only they knew how small they make us feel...and how insecure they really seem.

It's times like this that the honorable gentlemen look SOOOOOO good. Not that they didn't before...it's just nice to know a few of those in the slime of the moment.

I'll Stand By You

Oh my gosh...a friend just sent this to me...love it!

HOPE FLOATS

Sis Quote

Lady, there's nothing you can do but pray when someone loves their fear more than moving on. An oldie but goodie from my sissy.

Patronizing Hilarity

I have to sit through some of the most bizarre things sometimes. I was asked to be a part of a project a few weeks ago. It wasn't my idea...I was just the researcher. It totally wasn't something I was uber-invested in...just helping with details. Well, it didn't get accepted as viable, and I was totally cool with that. It wasn't my baby, you know? But since???...I've had to sit through these patronization sessions like I have to be "handled" because of a "let-down". If only they knew that's not how I am...haha! In my hollow head, I could care less! Maybe I should milk it for a raise...just kidding. ;)

Fakey People

I always feel bad when I'm around people who are clearly putting up a "face" of who they are (or think they should be). It's like they are acting a part instead of being themselves. They run to do this or that because that's what they think someone should or shouldn't do. It's so appearance-driven and performance-oriented. Honestly, it makes me nervous because of the energy being exerted for the "pose".

Time to strip, people! It's more comfortable!! ;)

Great Quotes

"Your heart is free. Have the courage to follow it!" - Braveheart

"Most people would rather be certain they're miserable than risk being happy." - Robert Anthony

"We must travel in the direction of our fear." - John Berryman

What have Christians been up to?

Playing in a sand volleyball league has been so great this summer! It's been a good challenge all around for me. Pushes my competition buttons (Grr!), reveals my mouth-foaming tendencies (surprise!!...it just pops right out when something doesn't work out!!..ahh!)...but also has given me a great outlet and has addressed a long-time desire from my Life List. Yay!

Well, lately, I've been noticing something else. I've been aware of the perceptions that many people have of "Christians". Sorry...I have to use quotes on that one because I think the "Christianity" presented by some is so full of b.s. sometimes. Anyway, we've been getting to know many of the other teams...so much fun!...but when they ask how we all know each other (church-related), we get funny reactions. One lady seriously wondered if it was ok for us to have fun! Last night, for example, many of us were having a beer or wine cooler in the time between our games. We weren't getting drunk...sheesh, just having a cold one. When one of the guys from the other team found out I was a principal at a Christian school, he about fell over. It was a huge challenge to his picture of "Christianity" that I could have a bottle in my hand and not be excommunicated by Christ.

Umm...this is why I absolutely dislike the legalism that pervades the church sometimes. The fact that some really have the impression...from Christians I might add...that our faith is about 1) having no fun and 2) never drinking a Mike's Cranberry Hard Lemonade is..well...STUPID! For me...EVERY Monday night, God is having a blast right with us and loving that we are living it up with Him.

Jedi Powers

Yes, I believe I'm in need of some of those. I just walked into a door...

Too True

"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission." - Eleanor Roosevelt

Ice...Cold...Milk

I LOVE IT!

Reflections

because of the insecurity button being pushed of late, i've been considering something. there's a difference...a profound one...between those who choose to live their lives as "victims" and those who live as "survivors". you know what i mean? one is always under the thumb of suffering while the other is an overcomer. the first lives always hanging on to yesterday while the second lives in the victory of letting go. i don't know...it's just been on my mind. something to ponder...

Eminem's New One

Wow...powerful and quite disturbing... NOT for kiddos!

Insecurities

it is crazy how the actions of significant people in our lives can pull so greatly on our insecurities. it's been a TERRIBLE week for that. hopefully, there won't be another one of those for a while...i don't have enough ice cream for that. ;)

Cardinal Rule

Live a life that ascribes worth. As quoted in Horton Hears a Who, "A person's a person no matter how small".

Great Songs

Two songs today!! The first one is for a gal I met that has experienced too much pain of late. Praying for her! The second is one I've been loving lately. My greatest hope for myself but also something I'd like to be able to allow for others... :)

My Grandma

Well, my Grandma has been having some health issues lately. :( She does from time to time...and she's 93-years-old so it's bound to be a bit more regular. Regardless, I absolutely hate it. What put me over the edge, though, was a prayer she prayed the other night. We were eating our little sandwiches and dilly bars (Shh!) and she prayed for the meal. She turned it into a prayer of blessing for me though...knife in heart...she asked that God would take care of me and give me the desires of my heart. Inside I was thinking, "Holy crap, she's saying "Goodbye" in her heart!"...

Those who know me well know that loss is NOT something I "do" very well...if that's even possible. Losing my other grandparents, my mom's cancer challenge, break-ups, friendship explosions...about send me 'round the bend. Seeing the suffering...experiencing those 'goodbye' moments...it's the down-side of the human experience. I guess there's a positive though...knowing loss means knowing love. And, at this point in my life, I'd rather live loved and loving than in the safe and solitary bubble of "no pain".

Pray for my Gram if you think of it. We want her a little longer. :)

Great Cosby Song

Heard this song at Dave's last night. It brought me back to the good 'ol Cosby Show days...:)

Cosby Show Sings

The Swimming Suit

One more for today...HAHA!...I had to wear the swimming suit the other day...du-du-duuuh. (That's a sound effect for you...)

Of course, not being in the shape I want to be in yet, it was 20% icky. Ok, maybe it was 40% undesireable, but that's still less than half. (Glass more than half optimistic then!!) After the initial "Holy crap, spandex is suctioned to my rolls!" reaction, it was all good! :)

For any of you that have had body image and/or eating disorder issues in the past, you can imagine the internal "nerves" at first. But, if you've overcome it too, you know we can push through all that and not end up back in starvation-ville. ;) We can actually have fun!

Just saying...there's been a lot of courage going on in this girl. :)

BIG Hope

I really, really, really am hoping for a one-on-one get-together. It's one of my biggest wishes lately. Being patient. Crossing my fingers and toes, arms, eyes...whatever will do the trick. ;)

Getting to Know New People

...it can be a challenge for me! I'm...shy! Really, I am! Groups of new people really scare me! I was telling my friend about it the other day, and she was shocked. Apparently, it's an odd thought considering my job and speaking stuff. When I think about it though, my profession is less personal than friends and dating. SO THE NON-PROFESSIONAL SETTINGS SCARE ME TO DEATH!!! I've been practicing courage though...and have been meeting a lot of really nice people. :) One worry?...Hopefully, my silences don't come off as "snobbish"...grrr, it's one side effect of being shy. It'll probably get better...because I'm really working on it! :)

Some Parents Really Tick Me Off...

...which isn't a big deal in itself. It's when I have a hard time removing my "self" from the conflict that it becomes tricky. Then, it becomes personal.

Here's the hard thing...shooting straight, so if you don't like "real", maybe skip this blog...it's just that parents can really be insulting sometimes. Here we are investing 100% in their children...not just in their academic abilities, but in their whole "becoming"...and we might actually be qualified to have a credible opinion on their child's abilities and readiness. But they don't care...they don't want to hear from anyone that might tell them something they don't want to hear...they want what they want...period. Where's the decency in that?

Adding salt to that wound???...when I know that I know that I know that the child is being set up for failure.

Eh...venting. Gosh, it's one reason I love blogging...:)

Work Peeve...

I work in a small school that, in addition to being an academic institution, is also a ministry. That is a necessary combination...but the relationship between the two (and the balance) can be extremely difficult. One of the frustrations I have with that combination is the occasional "Oops" on professionalism. It is sometimes easy to expect others...specifically the clients...to roll with the punches a little too much. Don't get me wrong...all stakeholders need to be flexible. I'm just saying that some tend to assume that everyone else should acquiesce when really it's rather unprofessional to do so.

The other problem??...addressing it when it happens. The sacrifice mentality screams "Victim". Grr! But, I'm still going to go after it...and remember to hold myself to that standard as well. (And scold myself in my "oops" moments...)

Cried My Eyes Out!!

Ugh...I've been watching episodes of the show Boston Med on hulu.com. It contains real-life stories of doctors and their patients. All of the episodes make me cry, but this one in particular had me bawling!! Sick little ones and elderly couples who are still madly in love...man, those are tough.

Boston Med

Charlie Horse Where????

I had to be taken out of one of our volleyball games last night because of a charlie horse (huge cramping in a muscle). It wasn't the charlie horse that was so odd though....it was WHERE it was. Ummm...my left bun. Hahahaha! Thank God for family though. My bro-in-law Rommel was playing in the position next to me and was so kind to help me...well, after he figured out what I was yelping. At first he thought I was saying that I had a horse in my... Oh dear.

All ended well though. I tagged out and stretched my bun.

My life is so embarassing... ;)