Have you ever met someone who battles shame? The kind where they live under a self-hatred of sorts. There's a powerful grid through which they see the world, but they also filter the actions/reactions of others through it. Everything is meant to validate the notion that they are flawed or worthless. And most of the time???...truly, no one is thinking so.
I don't know how to approach people that wrestle with this. Even the smallest thing can make them feel terrible. Constructive criticism...means they are not measuring up and are bad people. Unfortunately and largely unknowingly, they tend to try to solve their angst with shame-based communication too. They want to make others feel what they are feeling. It goes on and on...
And I'm without answers.
Maybe it's something they have to just sort out on their own. Allowing space and time might be best. Being patient in the meantime...that's a difficult one for me. It's a good thing there is prayer. :)