The "Ah-Hah"

I was listening to a friend's heartbreak the other day. Boy stuff, you know. Oh man, if I may be so bold...that dude was an unimaginable schmuck. I'm not sure there's competition for the selfishness and arrogance of that guy. Blech!! And, of course, he doesn't think so in the least. Sigh...typical of that sort.

As she was lamenting the demise, I couldn't help but have a personal realization. One of those "Ah-hah" moments that hits you like a 2x4...

Realizing how differently two people can look at the same experience. My propensity to see things through the lens of "potential"...that even the worst is redeemable (with a minimum reference to lessons) versus another's propensity to see things as regrettable, shameful mistakes. Not just actions...and here's my realization...but that you, yourself, are seen as the mistake...and any time associated with you...

Oh my gosh...subsequent interactions and conversations make SO MUCH MORE SENSE!! I mean...I've known that things are seen differently, but I've never understood the icky feeling that I also feel after the discussions. Like I'm to be ashamed of, the cause of embarrassment both past and present, the burden...on and on. And I...perhaps stupidly...am proceeding in the manner of minimal to medium friendship...all the while very confused...because God helped me return to the place of delight in the other...

I'm not sure I could have more clarity right now. Goodness! And I'll tell you what??...while initially humiliating to acknowledge, it's something that awakens the heart in this girl. I don't need to receive that! True honor...that kind that assumes immense, divine value...releases me to see myself, the other, AND THE PAST as God does and act accordingly. NOT taking shame BACK UP on self is a big, contributing step.

Time for one of those grand "exhale" moments...Sigh.

I'm telling you, people. It's ok to be on a different page than someone else. And, it's ok to let people process out situations that you were involved in too. BUT...in the so-doing, YOU (as in, your identity and worth) don't have to be in that.

You. Are. Not. In. That.

Oprah said it...she was right. ;)