Life-Changing Sermons

One of the things I love about my summer vacation is gardening. Flowers, flowers, flowers. Enhancing my time outdoors, I love to catch up on podcasts from Bethel Church and Woodland Hills Church. (Bill Johnson and Greg Boyd always give me something to think about.) These sermons have been on replay. They've been changing my perspective greatly. 

Being Transfigured

Theology of Empowering Women Pt 1

Theology of Empowering Women Pt 2

Desire: To Despair or Really Live

My brain has been churning on the topic of desire lately. Something very beautiful about humanity actually. What would we be without our passion and longing? Less than human for sure.

We all live with some unmet desires though. And that...well, that can be a major problem. Sadly, it can be a challenge to live...truly live...with unmet desire and so we can tend to put that desire to sleep within. The tragedy, though, is that doing so puts parts of our hearts to sleep too. So sad. If we don't kill the desire, we can choose to live out of a kind of despair over the desire. Depression entwined with manipulation and manufacturing...all to force the desire. Unfortunately...it tends to create facades of living or a desperation that actually robs us of life. Life lost to despair.

Actually living...enjoying a quality of life right alongside the "realness" of unmet desire...now that's gutsy. Courageous really. Not that I'm an expert remotely, but I've found...in baby steps...that embracing the goodness of God enables such a life. I don't mean an intellectual assent to "goodness"...I mean a heart reality where we can delight in who He is as a good Father and really wrestle with our longing in His presence. We can enjoy the safety of harbor in His presence (rest, comfort, direction) and see the goodness of His gifts in His timing (living in His "now" as opposed to our sense of the immediate).

We aren't meant to live with a sleeping heart or a despairing one. That means God has actually made it possible to live fully regardless of circumstances.

It has me praying lately. I understand the longing...so sad to see people give up... :(

Anchored in His Goodness

The day of great anticipation arrived...the day to try on dresses for the December wedding. I can't tell you the anxiety I've been feeling. Tall girls have quirky bodies to slap a bunch of white on (the "big" color) and a bunch of pouf. I had no idea if they'd even be able to fit me...and these very expensive legs. ;)

Stress....oh, the stress.

But I was so challenged by a quote that came across my Facebook feed that encouraged people to be anchored in God's goodness. To not would be to lower our theology to the level of our pain or wound.

Letting ourselves be consumed by worry...needing to control as much as possible.

No trust. No relaxing into His embrace.

So, I have been trying to slow down and rest in His goodness when the anxiety strikes. It's been difficult, but it's been possible.

The dress appointment went well. It was very emotional...quite a roller coaster actually...but in the end God's goodness was dancing all over the circumstance.

He's so very faithful. :)

Powerful Video

Wow. What a powerful video. The singer/song writer is describing her struggle with alcoholism and drug abuse...a true depiction of where the shallow, "party hard 'cause this is all we've got" focus on life can take people. A girl trapped inside a small room...a fake, performance kind of life. Amazing. And so sad.

On a happier note, the singer is now in recovery. Happy for her.

 

Engaged!

Yep...it's official! This girl is ENGAGED!!! Here's our story...hot off the presses from our webpage on theknot.com :)

First of all, let me begin by stating a fact. Kevin has always been good at pulling the wool over my eyes. Some call it "lying". Others call it "deceptive". Hahahaha. Whatever it is...he has a lot of fun at my expense. (And I fully intend to make him pay...Hehe.)

A month before he asked, we had this discussion about how we didn't need to rush into marriage and that it was okay to even wait up to two years. Of course, this was a part of his master plan, so engagement wasn't even on my horizon. Sneaky.

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Because it was Rachel's birthday (Kevin's daughter), he decided to take her on a trip up to Duluth, and they invited me along. He reserved a suite right on the harbor...literally feet away from the water. We had dinner and opened her gifts. It was a perfect night. 

I should add that Kevin somehow contracted food poisoning or a flu bug along the way. He was definitely not well, but he was determined to proceed with the birthday celebration. I'm not sure this was a part of his deceptive master plan, but it certainly contributed to my impression that nothing else was going on.

When we all woke up in the morning, Kevin told us that he was feeling worse. I said that we should just go home, but he was adamant that we would proceed. So we packed up and headed further north to Gooseberry Falls. Here's where I should have picked up on something...it's been a special place for us and is where I first realized I loved him...but I still had no suspicions.

When we got up there, Rachel and I decided to try geocaching. We planted Kevin on a bench and took off. Patient man. Then we all went to see the falls. It was so beautiful.

Rachel suggested we go down to the shore of Lake Superior, so we piled in the truck and drove down. Right away, I was looking on my phone for nearby geocaches, and we started looking for one. After a while, Kevin asked if we could go over to a particular bench and sit for a while. We walked over there, and I sat down. No one else did...

"So...celebrating Rachel's birthday isn't the only plan for this trip." (He puts his hand in his pocket, and Rachel starts backing up holding her cell phone to take pictures...)

I was so shocked that I must admit I started saying things like..."What?", "NO! NO WAY!!! Hell No!!"...poor Kevin. ;) What can I say though? He tricked me. ;) 

I think he thought my shocked statements might mean I'd actually say "No", so he would want me to add that he promptly forgot his original speech. Hehe. What he said was perfect though. He said he loved me and that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. 

And after all the shock and confusion...I burst out bawling.

Oh...and I said "Yes". 

I have to say that it was so perfect that Rachel was there too. She kept that secret for a long time, and she actually helped pick out the ring. So special. :)

Angelou's Biggest Revelation

Maya Angelou's biggest life revelation...go to 1:45 and watch. So beautiful! :)

 

How To...Words of Knowledge

I decided to peruse the Jesus Culture website during lunch today. I love ministries that give instruction on how to be empowered in the Spirit. Here's an video on letting God have access to your mind/imagination and speaking through it to others.

Getting Words of Knowledge

Maya Angelou Quotes

Maya Angelou

Oh sad. Maya Angelou passed away. I've so enjoyed her quotes!!!!

One of my favorite pieces of advice from her was something she told Oprah Winfrey during a time of pretty intense attack. Makes me think of a friend of mine who's been targeted lately. A wonderful teacher. Angelou said..."You aren't in that!" What she meant was that it's easy to take the a personal attack and let it spit on our own spirit...let it define or frame something untrue about ourselves. The truth is that we can face a storm and NOT be defined by it...NOT receive the hurtful message of an assault in the core of our identity. YOU aren't in that....so powerful. 

Show Me Your Face

I was at a Bethel Worship event the other night (worship team from Bethel Church in Redding, CA on tour). One of the songs had a section that said, "I don't wanna talk about You like you're not in the room. I wanna look right at you. I wanna sing right to you." I decided to ask God to let me see His face so I could sing to Him.

Hahahahahaha...be careful what you ask for... ;)

So, I closed my eyes, and within seconds I was face-to-face with a huge lion. Not just a still image. I moving, breathing lion. It's eyes were piercing and focused on me. Yowza!! I was so shocked...and a little freaked out...that I almost jumped backwards. It was an encounter...not with fear...but with power. Jesus, the Lion of Judah. Amazing.

"Stop weeping! Look, the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the heir to David's throne, has won the victory. Revelation 5:5

This Is Amazing Grace

I absolutely love the verses to this song. We've started singing it at church, and I think it's a beautiful picture of the possibility of more life here today. Wonderful! When we realize that we know more about church tradition or operation than actually knowing God...when we realize we have more of a relationship with His word than with Him...we have an invitation to so much more. Wholeness, freedom, relationship, encounter...today!! Here's to accepting the offer for more life today!! :)

 

What Would It Look Like?

"What would your city look like if the kingdom of God were superimposed over every realm of society? Can you imagine what would happen to the crime rate, the divorce rate, terminal diseases, hate, abortion, depression, poverty, hopelessness, molestation, rape, pornography, addictions, unemployment… if you and other dreamers began to envision the future of your city with God, and then impregnated the populace with that vision like Martin Luther King did in his day?" -Kris Vallotton from "How Heaven Invades Earth"

I saw this quote and wondered about some of the realms I am involved in. What would those areas look like if the kingdom of God was more fully released there? Envisioning a future!!! Birthing a vision!!!!! Oh, to become a dreamer on behalf of those realms!! Wow...what a beautiful calling we have.

Jesus spoke so much about what the kingdom of God looked like and that it was near. What a privilege to be released in His desire...flooding the world with compassion, hope, love, joy, goodness, provision, healing, community, stewardship, worth, creativity, inspiration...the Kingdom list goes on and on.

If you are a friend of God, this is your work! Have fun and DREAM BIG!!! :)

Friendship With God

Growing in Patience

Super interesting experience last week. I ended up posting something that provoked a little bit. It wasn't provocative to me but pushed some buttons for another.

**I should add that things that provoke thought don't really rock me too much...but maybe that's just me. I like to have something to think about...a challenge. That's why I've loved reading things by Rob Bell, Greg Boyd, Bill Johnson, Graham Cooke, etc. They offer great challenge. It doesn't mean I have to agree...although sometimes I do. Mostly it's a great sharpening exercise.

One of my friends emailed me what she thought about it which I greatly appreciated. The other responder, though, wanted to argue about it and by the end was arguing points I made at the onset as though they were still against me. I was so confused by it and as to why it was a big deal in the first place, but I was also noticing a little irritation and wanted to try to respond appropriately....so I did a little research...and some contemplating.

So...I'm a bit of a mystic. I've talked about that before. I believe it is not only possible but desired by the Trinity that we can experience a living and active relationship with God today. I believe in the gift of the Holy Spirit and the release of greater power and destiny because of that gift. I believe in the need for balance so as to not become so experiential that grounding in truth is negated, but nevertheless I believe the Holy Spirit is for today and is a source of truth (John 16:13). Because of the work of Jesus on the cross, I'm headed back to Eden in a way...where they walked with God, heard Him speak what was true, and freely walked in who He said they were because of Him. They ruled from that place. Powerful and beautiful. Of course, it's all a process...but totally a possible one...and one I believe was meant to start today...NOT AFTER DEATH.

As such, I view the Bible, God's Word, as necessary but also as a springboard into more....a guide to greater encounter with the Trinity and one of the major tools for transformation and freedom. Paired with interpretation through the lens of who Jesus is (the Word who became flesh)...humility and surrender...and empowerment by the Holy Spirit...it's a powerful key to living out kingdom life today.

I do not live solely between the two covers of the Book though...and for someone who does, some of my thoughts are problematic. Wrong even.

I'm trying to be sensitive to that. My ideas about how to interpret Scripture and then how to use it for more would come off as an insult to their main mode and definition of relationship with God. How to challenge that and not seem heretical???? I'm guessing that's an impossibility. How to at least keep a door open for communication regarding the possibility of so much more in Christ??? I don't know. If there's judgment on either side, it won't happen. I absolutely love their value of Scripture, but I also have some concerns about the implications of a Book-only life.

I'm guessing it's not realistic...and maybe that needs to be ok. At least I can take away from them a call to delight in the Word.

Blessing of Community

I'll tell you what...community matters. What a phenomenal blessing! It matters to have people around you who will encourage you in your walk. It matters to have people who will invest in the transformation of your mind through challenge. It matters to have people who will celebrate your victories and grieve your sorrows.

Don't be a lone ranger!!!

The Trinity is relational to the core. We are made to be relational...and grow within that context.

What a privilege!

Disciple of Paul...or Jesus?

"It's really important for us that the words of Jesus become more important than the words of Paul, that we see Paul's ministry through the light of the gospels and that we don't see Jesus through the light of the Epistles. That's really important. Why?...because we are following Presence. I don't want to be a disciple of Paul. I want to be a disciple of Jesus." - Graham Cooke 

Oh, I love this...Jesus is the lens for interpreting Scripture. Man...I wonder what would be modified in the church if this order of seeing and interpreting was put into practice more often. Interesting to think about. 

Vball Season Begins

I'm a sub this year for our vball team. So far I have had to play both nights, and it's been really fun. I find it so hilarious, though, how my "rules" come out....expectations in a game.

1. This is war. The other team is the enemy. Stop making nice unless it is a strategy. Hahahaha! Oh dear. I'm working on this...sort of. ;)

2. We can't get stuck in our heads with negative self-talk. It's not remotely helpful in the battle!!! Shake it off. Move on. It's all good.

3. Teamwork is the ideal. I find I actually get a high. I'm serious!! Hahaha! I love when we can each use our strengths, have focus and control, and do beautiful set-ups. Oh baby....so lovely.

4. Be teachable. No one is exempt from improvement. Take the investment. It means you have potential for more.

5. Patience. They say it's a virtue...those jerks. ;) You can still be serious about winning and be patient with progress. I have to work on that...in regards to myself too.

6. Alcohol...definitely don't get too influenced. You'll play like an idiot...because you are one. Hahaha!

Oh boy...some to work on...some to maintain. Here's to a great season! :)

Outdoor Worship Event

How fun! Helping plan an outdoor worship event at church this summer. Pretty excited to secure groups and then...worship together!! :) Not all churches or churchy people are interested in broader community events. Has to be all about "us" on our own islands, you know. Frustrating. But...some...oh yes...will come together as brothers and sisters in Christ and share His kingdom together. We shall see!

Praying for the Nigerian Girls by Name

You may have heard about the Nigerian girls that were kidnapped from their classroom by a terrorist. He has been pretty outspoken about his intents to sell and exploit them...likely already is. Someone released the names of the girls still in captivity. I'm going to be praying for those precious ones by name. Please join in! :)

 

Jesus and the Woman's Place

I'm thankful every day for the ministry involvements that I have. We are allowed to become who we are made to be in Christ.

Jesus and the Woman's Place

Religion is Anti-Me

I saw this on Facebook the other day, and I was intrigued...because I totally agree! Haha! I'm one who loves Jesus, yet I agree with an atheist about "religion". Oh man...the kind of belief that reduces faith to legalism and sin management...the Pharisaical "religion"...is so destructive. Yes, it keeps some people behaving themselves, but it robs people of real life...the kind of life that releases people into true freedom and destiny. It robs people of the ability to love beyond rules...which makes for an awful reputation of cruelty. So terribly sad.

So...yep...I believe religion is anti-me too. I won't ever go back. :)

When the Kingdom Comes in a City

This is a podcast by Kris Vallotton. I just couldn't agree more!!!!

When the Kingdom Comes in a City 

Ministry of Kindness

My high school volleyball coach is a mentor for me to this day. She's a wonderful friend too. In her words and actions she continues to remind me of the verse that says that God's kindness is what leads us to repentance.

What a fantastic reminder...and calling...I want to live like that too.

A life lived as a ministry of kindness.

I don't want to be a judge. I want to be an investor. I don't want to elevate self in pride. I want to confidently serve. I don't want to require "cleanliness" as a pre-requisite to belonging. I want to welcome and love without stipulations. I want to invite, beckon, encourage...

Hmm...things to think about.

Victor's Crown

Man, ever since the Beth Moore conference, this song has been in my heart...and rocking my socks off... :)

"Every high thing must come down. Every stronghold shall be broken..." To me it's such a beautiful picture of bringing heaven to earth. The reality of kingdom life...Jesus' resurrection life...TODAY. Mmhmm...amazing.

 

Grace for the Graceless

I think I've put my finger on the issue. Definitely seeking God for His recommendations.

I don't have grace for the graceless (at least towards the graceless by my definition).

It has always been a stark contrast for me...noticing how I can apply grace in both perspective and approach to those who seem outside the "club" of the church (Don't get me started on the ridiculousness of the "club" mentality.) but finding it absolutely revolting to apply grace to the legalistic and judgmental "saved" ones. The anger I feel sometimes for how I feel Jesus is so misrepresented by the very ones who claim His name...oh man, it can be overwhelming. I understand that I don't always display the true heart of Jesus either, but for some reason I can extend grace to myself a bit more than to "those" others. (Wow...that's probably not cool at all. Hehe.)

Yet...the frustration is not productive. It just sits there building resentment...and a disdain for association. Yep...living in judgment of the judgmental. Sigh.

Knowing that it is true that "hurt people hurt people" doesn't always help. I'm sure it should, but it doesn't. The truth is that most legalistic and/or judgmental people face a reality of fear and shame every day. A nasty, heart-crushing prison that so strongly dictates their actions. Really tragic when you think about it...but for me, it's difficult to hold on to the sympathy in the face of their cruelty to others.

What to do. What to do.

Seemingly, this is a God-sized problem. One that our tips, tricks and self-help books can't remotely address.

Show me the way, God. Show me the way.

Patience Is Tapped Out.

Patience is a virtue, they say. And if I ever find out who "they" are...there's gonna be trouble. Hehe.

For whatever reason, it seems to be a season that requires a great deal of patience, and I'm discovering that I'm lacking any reserves. Just about every "pet peeve" button has been or is being pushed. Irritations...most definitely...abound.

I think what adds to the tension is knowing that many of them can't be changed. So, putting in the energy to address situations knowing any modification is unattainable???...I'd rather just loath from a distance. Haha!

It's the grace quandary really. The grace of the invested challenge...or...the grace of the prayerful silence. Knowing when to highlight an issue and when to walk away. Sigh.

"God grant me the serenity..." or get me drugs. ;)

A Temple Without Levels

I heard a sermon last week that referred to the Jewish temple. I didn't know much of anything about the various courts inside. Quite interesting. Click here for more information on the Temple.

Of particular interest to me was all of the separation that existed within this holy place. A court for Gentiles...Jews and Gentiles could interact here, but Gentiles couldn't go further inside. Up a few stairs to the Court of Women...a place for Jewish men, women and priests to interact, but women couldn't go further than this place. Up a few stairs to the Court of Men...a place where Jewish men and priests could go, but only priests could go further. Through a gate into the Priest's Court...a place for all Jewish priests, but the lesser priests could go no further. And finally through the veil, the Holy of Holies...a place for only the high priests and God.

Over the years, I've focused on the tearing of the veil during the Crucifixion of Christ. That spectaculor moment symbolizing that God would not be contained or isolated but would now occupy the human heart. Wow...still so precious to me. But knowing that there were all of these courts of separation, I was so blessed by how the life, death and resurrection of Christ also became the grand equalizer.

Galatians 3:28 There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

Colossians 3:11 Here there is no Gentile or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all.

Can't you just see it? In addition to the tearing of the veil that kept the Holy of Holies closed off, the various, raised levels separating Jews and Gentiles, men and women, and priest and layman were collapsed. The tiered temple became a level place...all have equal access to Him and are equal in Him.

Oh man...what a visual. What a gift!!! Now to place our faith in alignment with His wide-open spaces of Grace. :)

Those Dry Bones

I have noticed a trend in the last two weeks...the number of times the story of the dry bones from Ezekiel has been mentioned in a variety of circles. Many times, referencing concerns for the current church at-large. It's seriously been quite unusual...so much so that it slapped me in the face to pay attention. :)

When you look at the church in America today, it's not difficult to see the "dry bones". (Note: I am looking at myself in the analysis as well.) Those ruled by appearances...putting forth the "show" to pretend to be someone they are not. Those ruled by legalism...putting forth the "rules" that would "earn" God's favor and often using their Belt of Truth to abuse others. Those ruled by self...seeking only what makes them happy and comfortable, all the while being "me-me-me" and "milk-dependent" rather than challenged to grow in maturity and servanthood. Those ruled by a gospel of sin management...living this life in constant remembrance of who they've been without seeing that His cross was also a gate to true freedom and to becoming who He made them to be in the first place. Those ruled by consumerism....seeking the perfect church of entertainment without any attention to the condition of their heart or the nature of true worship. Those ruled by performance or duty...working out a social gospel or gospel of doing without any focus on the personal relationship with Jesus.  Those ruled by offense...isolating themselves from community and permitting themselves a seat of judgment rather than forgiveness and healing. It goes on and on and on...

To me, it feels like all of heaven is groaning for Abba's children to come alive again...to be filled with His breath of life...to experience intimacy with Him that unleashes destiny...to allow His power and presence to be made manifest in their own hearts and in their realms of influence...the truest tales of the kingdom expressed today.

So...let's live in agreement with the prophesy..."Come, breath, from the four winds and breathe into these slain, that they may LIVE!" Because...there's MORE! There's MORE! There's MORE!!!

Living the Dream

My Ragamuffin friend sent me this link some time ago, and I've been coming back to it over the last few months. If you have the time, it's worth a viewing. Living a life of purpose, calling...dreams. :)

 * Have courage to share your story. The risks you fear in the telling are likely smaller than the beauty that comes...that is needed...in its telling.

 * Our dreams often come from our brokenness...those places where we've experienced hell and have risen up to say "Hell, no!" to evil. Look there!

 * Our dreams often come from glory too...those places where we find ourselves coming alive in the experience. Look there too!

 

Mr. Oak Tree

He wants to be my oak tree. Yes, please! :)