i read a story once about a man who quit believing in god. the implications of that moment wouldn't be realized until years later...including the fact that letting god die is sometimes the greatest gift you can give yourself and your heart's journey. why? because sometimes our ideas of "who" god is need to be killed so that truer visions can be owned.
so...god died for me this week. in actuality i murdered him with an anger from years and years of stuffed judgments. it's funny how we stumble upon areas that still believe old lies. we don't always know they are there because we are focused on our areas of new life...or we don't want to release those ones just yet. but they are there..areas that need to drudged up...areas that need a claim-stake for a deeper reality of loving truth.
and as i sat in church this morning, i realized that this death was a very good thing...
i'm just in the first steps of this movement, but the god that just "uses" me now has a gravestone. the one that would, above all things, pursue and love me fully so that i can love him back has entered the scene. there is a lot of unbelief that i'm slogging through...particulary related to a certain desire...but i sense a new wind is blowing and i believe he is on the move.
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