Friday, April 19, 2013

Thick Skin...How Long?

No sooner do I think about having thick skin than I consider pride. So...ya...don't worry. I have a dialogue going with myself while lamenting the need to insulate against others that reactions out of pride are never good. Checking self right alongside the frustration.

What in the world am I talking about?

Well, for whatever reason I've put myself in two circles...working in a school and helping at a church...that tend to have intensely involved stakeholders and strict confidentiality requirements. When issues arise...oh, can sometimes be this massively one-sided scenario where some get to express opinions without restraint, comprehensive information and broader perspective and I...get to have my mouth gagged and hands tied...and sometimes just plain have to make a tough call.

Totally unfair.

So...I occasionally find myself having to maintain a thick insulation...because it's not always appropriate to defend myself and my decisions...and sometimes we all just can't agree. And along with that can come...the chosen path of knowing I'm thought less of...and being judged.

You have no idea how hard that can be for me. Quite lonely. It's so hard to take that protection down sometimes. Sigh. And, it's hard to not let my pride react to theirs...

I think it's why I value SO MUCH the places where I don't have to have that insulation...that thick skin...and just have sanctuary with others.

Oh, for the day when thick skin isn't required any longer. How long?

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