My Gratitude Plus Journal

I'm starting my third week of the Gratitude Plus journal. I designed the questions to help me consider what I'm thankful for and then bring it to a place of blessing God for His good gifts. I made it a bit more exhaustive because just being grateful doesn't always brink me to a place of recognizing His presence and action in my life.

1. What am I thankful for?
2. Why am I thankful for this? (identifying a need or desire)
3. What does it tell me about who God is?
4. How can I communicate this to Him? (words, songs, dance, drawings, etc.)

I looks longer than it is. So far, each of mine have been around 2 paragraphs.

And...it's helping me have a sense of God's nearness...definitely a broader perspective.

Heaven is actively moving on earth. :)

Keep the peace...not really.

"Let's just do what we can to keep the peace."...

Man, I'm tired of hearing that. Why?

Because what people usually mean is that we need to do what we can to keep things...calm, cool, collected.

No true peace at all...just uncomfortably silent people. Tension 101.

I saw a tattoo once that said, "If you want peace, prepare for war." Right now, that is making a lot more sense to me.

Peace...real peace...is "wholeness, health and harmony"...and it's so precious that it seems like it would be something worth fighting for! Just doing what we can to keep things less rocky is usually NOT in the best efforts of legitimate peace!!!

So, I have to ask myself...am I going to be a "calm-maker" or someone who really stands for (fights for) peace.

Hmm.

Privileged

It's starting to REALLY bug me...the number of white people who don't think "white privilege" is real.

Oh. My. Word.

Have a bunch of nieces and nephews with a variety of beautiful skin colors...and go shopping or out in public with them...and watch THEM be viewed more closely than YOURSELF over and over and over again with no provocation...ya, maybe you'll think it's a little possible.

Listen to stories of decent, non-white people who've been mistreated as compared to decent white ones...maybe it becomes a bit more possible.

It's real.

It's certainly not the cause of every issue that arises...Lord knows there is serious drama out there...but it's present.

And, to just pass over it is so NOT HELPFUL.

Beyond the "white" world...I'll say that it seems more of an "elite privilege" to me than "white" sometimes. Stories of what money buys...or what money expects...beyond the color of one's skin.

Sigh...I wish people would step into each other's shoes more... Listening to understand...

Open Wide...

Oh boy...here we go. Since stepping down from my administrative job at school, I've been experiencing a massive download of...dun-dun-DUN...opinions. Hahahaha!!! It's the strangest thing! I think the responsibilities of that particular job (and all the strategies for handling people/situations...sometimes the games...the drama) made me have a tighter rein on my mouth. A muzzle I am SO DONE WITH!!!!

So...get ready. It's gonna get messy. ;)

Millennial Education

Millennials. Oh my. I love how creative and technologically savvy they are. I love their compassion and how much they love community service. I love how much they prefer "real" to "fake".

And...I can't stand how self-focused they are. (Granted, exceptions exist.)

Oh my gosh. Sometimes I just want to beat my head against a wall.

And their parents???...not always the cause, but certainly a contributing factor if they aren't intentional. Don't get me started on that... ;)

I feel it is becoming necessary to start to have some incredibly candid, "educational" conversations with the youngsters, especially those on the other side of the diploma. Why?...because the self-centeredness is so thick (and enabled) that it may just need a bulldozer to even dent.

Their notion of how they are perceived by others is so inaccurate. They've been given trophies for just showing up to life, and any constructive criticism has been eliminated because it might make them "feel bad". So, they have no clue that their narcissistic actions are actually communicating an entirely different persona than their "I'm so special" identity. Namely, this: they don't know they are viewed as arrogantly ignorant @$$holes. (Apologies for the "french"...)

Sorry, but it's true.

"I just don't feel like getting a job." or "I just don't feel like doing THAT for a job...it's beneath me." How are they viewed???...yep, as users, leeches, bums, stuck-up babies.

"I don't feel like going to that event I committed to or showing up to work." Yep...irresponsible, disrespectful, untrustworthy.

"Adults have no clue. They are so out-of-date." Yep...clueless, ignorant, naive.

"I should be able to complete this on my own time table. They just don't understand I have more important things to do." Yep...selfish, insensitive, incompetent.

You might think it's mean, but how much more cruel is it to release them into life with a complete delusion about their behavior??? They need to know that "cause and effect" is a real thing...and a real thing that will come back to haunt them some day.

When we only see "self" at the expense of others, there are consequences.

Here's to moving from @$$holes to legitimate contributors...sigh.

(Aaaand...venting done...for today...Haha!)

Moving on...

Well, it's official! I am giving up my administrative responsibilities at school to be a classroom teacher. The main reason is that it will free me up to pursue some other ministry opportunities outside of school.

I'm so excited.

And...

I'm feeling some grief.

Yep, it's a strange conglomeration of emotion.

Letting things go...even if they've been a major pain the arse for years...can be a challenge. I'm feeling a bit angry for the burn-out I'm feeling. (I think I've felt a bit used in the position for a long, long time.) I'm also feeling some fear about letting it go without knowing if someone will continue to take care of what I've built or stewarded. It's so difficult to risk that it could be altered negatively.

So, I have some processing and releasing to do. Definitely a "must do"...because I don't want the things I'm pursuing to be limited by what needs to be moved to "yesterday".

Endless Ocean

Tall

Oh my goodness...I can so relate to this. In a figurative manner, I bet we all can. "Standing tall" in all the ways we were made to... :)

 

Stop Scaring The Children

I can't tell you how many kiddos ask me fearful questions about the world...because of what they hear fearful or angry adults saying. Understanding the issues we face is fine, but I too would love to step into the world of some and yell, "STOP SCARING THE CHILDREN!". Especially in the context of Jesus' story and the reality of hope and joy and peace and love!!! Fearful brains don't search out and create solutions...love-driven ones do. God says so, science agrees...get movin'. :)

 

Boyd Interview...Exclusive Religion

King Of My Heart

Science Mike

I went to hear Science Mike at Woodland Hills Church for his presentation on how modern science and faith can co-exist. He has an interesting story of losing his faith (in the OT angry God) to become an atheist. Surrounded by all the facts imaginable, he found himself longing for meaning. His search lead him to faith in a loving God as represented in Jesus Christ. He's a total science nerd (which I say as a compliment), so his insights and research into all kinds of topics were delightful. His talk was followed by a Q&A with Greg Boyd...yep, totally loved that. :)

 

I miss Brennan

I miss him so much.

 

Safe Cultures

Very good. One general question/struggle I have is...what if the "container" is shame-free but some people within it can't stop defining THEMSELVES by shame and thus sending it out to others? We can sometimes cry "you are shaming me!" when in reality it's self-generated perception and projection. Hmm...how to change? Love this video though. Powerful, powerful, powerful.

 

The Power of the Testimony

So powerful. Share your story...change the atmosphere. :)

Video Blog 17 - The Power of the Testimony
"Listen to testimonies, share them- you'll change the atmosphere where you live...Testimonies are important because they are stories, stories of God’s nature. They reveal His heart, they reveal His person, they reveal what He values."
Posted by Bill Johnson on Friday, April 8, 2016

My Personal Hedgehog...

I met with a pastor a couple of weeks ago for a bit of orientation before a speaking engagement in his church. In the process of discussion about the vision of their church and how they identify their decision-making parameters, I found myself taking notes for myself! I know it comes from business resources to guide companies in their decisions, but the Hedgehog Concept really spoke to me (book "Good to Great"). Of course, I can't completely apply the business model to myself or even a church/ministry, but it can give me great suggestions for how I could decide my involvements in the future.

Looking for the "sweet spot"...

So the Hedgehog for me is defined as three of my greatest passions/values that tend to pull me towards action. According to the concept, where those three intersect are activities in which I should invest my time and energy.

My three core values??? Here goes...

First, relationship. For me this includes what fosters greater encounter with the Divine and creates opportunities for community with others.

Second, empowerment. This would include whatever allows transformation and release into authentic identity and destiny.

Third, ownership. Because nothing should just feed the self, this value would include what encourages people to invest, serve or be generous.

Maybe it's simple to others, but I've needed a bit of guidance on how to make some decisions regarding what I invest in (and potential career or ministry focus changes). It's been a bit of a lifesaver.

Freedom

Oh my gosh. We've been in a terrible trial of late...nothing we caused but a situation that was dumped on us. Quickly discovering there wasn't one thing we could do to straighten things out, I can't even begin to describe the feelings...sigh.

But today...oh my goodness...we found out it is finally over.

Of course, we have the fallout from the event...some of it, I'm sure, will be permanent...but for a moment I find myself feeling FREE.

Even though we walk through the valley of the shadow...He is with us.

Love Takes Action

Completely agreed. :)

 

America is NOT the greatest country anymore...

Pardon the expletives but this clip (from a tv show...not reality) kinda sums up my political thoughts. I haven't found must satisfaction in any candidate running for President...and actually have no clue where I'll land my vote. I'm more saddened by the state of the country, knowing our current pool is likely to not improve matters...

Oh to discuss real problems and real solutions again...no more division, no more false promises, no more bandaids...

America is NOT the greatest anymore

Faith is Rising

Wow!!! This song has been such a blessing lately!!

 


Faith Is Rising
Jonathan David Helser

Faith is rising, I am seeing
You are smiling over me
[repeat]

Perfect love is filling us
Fear is leaving, fear is fleeing
Perfect love is singing over me

Faith is rising, [and] I am seeing
You are smiling over me
[repeat]

Perfect love is filling us
Fear is leaving, fear is fleeing
Perfect love is singing over me

Faith is rising, I am hearing
You are laughing at my enemies
[repeat]

Perfect love is filling us
Fear is leaving, fear is fleeing
Perfect love is singing over me

I'm Your beloved
I'm Your beloved
I'm Your beloved
[repeat]

Perfect love is filling us
Fear is leaving, fear is fleeing
Perfect love is singing over me

Always "Bring It"

The varsity girls' basketball team from my school had an undefeated season this year. Going into the league tournament, they were pretty set for a championship. Very exciting. They were able to skip the first day of the tournament because of their awesome record, so they were well-rested for their first game on day 2. 

And...they totally blew it...

A team they should have easily defeated (last time had 30-point victory) was able to beat them... 

It was totally horrifying to behold. They came out like they owned the world yet played like they'd actually never held a ball. It was...ugh. 

When I asked the younger team members about the situation, they said the team was just way too cocky to actually "bring it" well. Interesting observation from 14-year-olds..."The pride goes before the fall..."

So it has me thinking...it's just a "no brainer" that we should always "bring it" to the situations we face. Even if we are outmatched, we need to put it all on the table and finish well. But the "bring it", when combined with pride, is actually not bringing it at all. And it can actually end up creating our demise. 

My younger players told me they learned something from it...that the "best" is really skill and humility in partnership. The new "bring it" for them...

Note taken. :) 

Class Dreaming...

Well...it's all done! I took on an assignment to facilitate a class at church...8 weeks!! We finished last night with "Dreaming with God"...and of course the experience of this class has me dreaming a ton. Ohhhhhhhh my...I so, so, so, so would love this kind of thing to be a part of "normal" for me now. I think I'm going to step towards that.

My dream???....I want to be a part of something that encourages people to step into more of who they were made to be. The space of grace is wide open on the other side of the cross...it's the gift of resurrection life...and I want to be a part of the journey for others.

So there you go...it's where my heart is heading...dreaming BIG with God. :)

Dreaming with God

Why God doesn't always stop evil...

"The supreme ethic that God has given to us is the ethic of love..."

 

Paradigm Shift for this Gal

Oh man....last night's class (Supernatural Power of a Transformed Mind) was really convicting for me. There was so much balance and truth in it...and it totally pushed on some difficulties I've had in trying to make sense of or make peace with some of the challenges of life.

One of my biggest weaknesses when encountering a particularly difficult experience...sigh...is turning my focus to what it seems God ISN'T doing or what I can't see Him doing.

Staying in that place so often leads me to judgment and anger...which impacts my view of who God is...which directly impacts my sense of who I am in the situation...and usually takes me out of the equation of being fully present to the situation and potentially having a positive role of impact.

Sigh, sigh, sigh....

It's not that we should live in denial of the pain, grief, frustration and confusion. Feeling is so very important. It's more that, as the teaching suggested, we need to pull our hurt close and then sit in the reality of who God really is and has been in our history with Him. In that moment, we offer Him praise. Truly, it settles our hearts in His hands and places us in the position to receive shalom-peace. We are then, as an automatic implication of embracing His true nature, reminded and/or released into a deep sense of who we really are in (and to) the situation. Empowered to fight the enemy well...to finish well.

Quite a challenge for me. Man, I need to sit in this for a long while.

God is so good.

Evaluating...

So...it's definitely time. I've come to a place of evaluation...seeing a potential "fork in the road".

My career goal was not always education. I actually started out wanting to work in the medical field. During a chemistry course in college, a professor suggested I investigate the teaching profession because he liked how I tried to explain course content to my lab partner in different ways. All it took was one school placement in my first educational course to confirm my love of kiddos and the classroom. I changed my major to science education and was hired at a public high school upon graduation.

After a few years in the classroom, I decided to head back to college to earn a master's degree in Educational Leadership. "Who we are" started to become more intriguing to me. Don't get me wrong...I absolutely love the wonder in science instruction. I just found the deeper truths of our identity and destiny and how we are mentored and released into those things of greater importance. As such, I accepted a job as the principal of a Christian school. Not a brainwashing facility...it was a place of whole-person investment. It's been my focus in the 15 years since.

But now I stand at that crossroads...

Administration just isn't what I'm interested in anymore. Investing in and mentoring the whole person is still a primary passion, but I'm not sure "principal-ing" is the avenue for it anymore. At least, not for me...

So, I'm evaluating...

I definitely still want a classroom...but I think I'd like other types of classrooms in addition to my science one. Places of investment in people who want more release into the deeper things...adult classes, retreats, speaking events, studies...

Hmm...we shall see, we shall see... :)

Infusion

I've decided to view my prayers as an infusion. If it really is true that I am a "house of God" (temple of the Holy Spirit) and that I am actively partnering with God in bringing heaven to earth, then I bring something...I declare something, release something of God...into the situations I encounter.

I know that we often find ourselves in a position of request..."God, give me..." but I wonder if we need to consider the opportunities we are missing to impart something into our circumstances...

Agreement with God's nature...His goodness, His faithfulness, His power...infused into the impossible.

Agreement with God's purpose that stands in the face of and obliterates the impact of the obstacles in the way of His will being done...truth infused where there are lies.

Infusion...the weight of my partnership-humanity.

Yep, I'm going to be much more of a "declarer" than I ever have been.

May it be so. :)

 

WonderGirl Again

This touches my heart. Let it be so for me again. Wonder... :)

 

So Tired of Owned Shame

Hmm...some negative encounters lately have me wondering...how possible relationship actually is with some people.

I know, I know...every one of us is a wounded soul of some sort. You can't live this life and not have some sort of heart damage. But some...well, just are wounded so deeply, are completely unaware of it (or denial?), or are quite content to own their shame that they are ruled by their brokenness.

What does this mean??? It means their "grid" through which they view and analyze others and their interactions with others can be so heavily influence and skewed that relationship may be...unrealistic if not impossible.

Victim 101 always. It permits them to equate their past experiences fully with any unpleasant interaction or disagreement. Following that?...commence justified judgment and "poor me" manipulations. Ugh...no accountability to question whether the past is still the past and if it justifies seeing the worst in others...

I'm so sick of it. So, so sick of it.

Realizing that we can't fix what we refuse to see...doesn't have me very hopeful for any improvement.

I refuse to see the worst in others, but it's very tempting to judge in return. Going to have to maintain some self-discipline with that. I also refuse to be co-dependent, so perhaps it's a season for better boundaries and a guarded heart.

What to do...what to do...Sigh. Can't see it getting better...not before it gets worse.

Open Heaven

The Word for 2016

Well...here it is. Kevin reminded me that we hadn't officially chosen the new word for the year (see previous posts). Reminiscing about other years and how last year's was a twist of "kingdom" that I hadn't expected, I realized that this year has already been initiated into the new word. Situations, lessons...already inviting us into an exploration. It is another facet of "kingdom" which is something I hope to have expanded for the rest of my life.

EMPOWERMENT

I am so excited!!!

Already, we are finding God calling us up to new ways of seeing and responding. There is truly an upgrade/empowerment available through the Holy Spirit.

Cannot wait.